Not in control

drownindebt

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

There will always be something to pay out for. Sadly unless you are a millionaire and few of us are then we have to prioritise what is paid out. Debt is usually accumulated by a failure to do this and yes you are in danger of going down that route. You have paid out for a holiday, wardrobes and a sofa without having the money to pay for them. You are paying minimums on debt which effectively means they will never be paid off and you are now talking about new bathrooms and a new car and a holiday in the south of France next year when you literally have 0 spare each month bar the £500 going towards the holiday at the moment and the soa should really take car maintenance into account and an emergency fund.

Sorry to be harsh but with £22k+ of unsecured lending it really would be better after your holiday to clear the credit cards then start saving for all these wants. It is not unreasonable to ask your wife to help too. are the credit cards on 0% deals and if so when do they finish?

Appreciate the tough love.

Ok - back from hols I'll:

• Save £1000 for an emergency fund (knowing that it'll probably go on boiler check and leak fixing)
• Clear the credit cards and not use them anymore
• Pay off the loan, while putting a little away for the home improvements
• Once the loan has gone, save for things

I've got someone buying my old laptop today. That cash will go to the start of the emergency fund. I'm also selling other small things that may mount up and reducing a lot of what I have to have a simpler, minimalist life.

Everyone else will just have to put up with how stingy I'm becoming

As an extra, I can also earn extra money tutoring online - might start that up again.

Thanks for all your suggestions and tough love!

enthusiasticsaver

Glad you heard my advice in the spirit it was given

I think your new plan of action sounds much better and sticking to a budget is not stingy but sensible. Great example for your family although you have not said if you are the only one struggling with debt.

As you say if you have an emergency fund and something does go wrong in the house it will be useful to have but a leak or broken boiler is a need not a want and you will have budgeted for it.

enthusiasticsaver

Can the cards be moved to 0% deals or are they on them already ? That really makes a difference in clearing debt.

Lucylocks

We bought the cheapest (most neglected) house in the best area we could afford which gave us the school catchment needed. It was foul - the people who lived here previously were frankly filthy. Everything was 'liveable' once cleaned but not what I wanted. Bathroom was aged and grout sealant etc stained and very very unappealing, which is why house was cheap enough for us to afford.

We took view that until we could do all the work needed we weren't going to spend in any 'patching up' (well, anything other than emergency repairs and annual servicing of antique back boiler). It was pretty awful, I hated having people round as bathroom was grim, carpets stained etc but we've more of less come out other side. All major works have been done and now just prettying up of a couple of bits remain. It was so hard, particularly when comparing our home to other people's, I so wanted to have somewhere which wasn't sn embarrassment but now we're out the other side I'm glad I stuck with it. if we'd done bits as we went along, new bathroom suite, new floor etc then we would have simply just soent our money revamping a house that someone else had designed. By waiting we were able to reconfigure and get a house that works for us, albeit with a bit more debt!

drownindebt

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Can the cards be moved to 0% deals or are they on them already ? That really makes a difference in clearing debt.

They should be, but I think I've balls something up as each has "32p" or "20p" interest on each statement.

The stupid thing is, I only got the Purchase Credit Card because it creates Avios points. Was I duped?

Had a brief chat with OH about money last night and she doesn't see the problem with 0% finance deals. I guess it'll take two to tango because I definitely don't want to signup to anything ever again!

Sidenote: thinking of ways to have fun at the weekend without spending loads of money.

drownindebt

Quick calculation and have updated my signature. My personal loan is lower than I think with what I've paid already, and it'll be paid off in 4.41 years. My mind is now wondering whether I could reduce that.

Fully determined now to get rid of both credit cards. Avios points weren't going to help if I couldn't afford the rest of the holiday.

Looking around my house, it really just needs a few things fixing, a few more plants and constant decluttering.

And I can earn extra money through tutoring in my evenings. I've started doing more cooking (I cooked breakfast, made lunch and cooked dinner yesterday - big win!), which should help the family dynamic.

Also, the cash in an envelope is working. Cleaner on my statement and it really pains me when I have to spend it - a couple of bottles of wine, 45p on biscuits.

And there are free things to do. Riding our bikes, exploring the countryside.

Feeling a bit more upbeat about things. Can't wait to start after next weeks preplanned holiday.

drownindebt

Sold the MacBook! £400 cash. That's going towards the £1000 emergency fund!

drownindebt

Picked up the envelope for sending back the old iPad - hopefully that'll net me £54.

Considering tutoring again. I got around £170 per month from it for just a few hours here and there. Would help me pay down. I'm determined to halve the 4 year personal loan to 2.

Bought a £12 battery pack for holidays (otherwise I can't ride with gps), and some pedals. Annoyingly, I had a £20 Amazon Voucher gifted, but I've lost it. Can't wait for it to reappear!

Was reminded this morning that we need travel insurance. £44 with Columbus Travel (the one with our joint account doesn't include the children). Hidden cost of holidays!

quintwins

Does your wife know your financial situation?

I see no issue with 0% finance deals on things like sofas if your not paying over the odd's and can actually afford it and actually need it. The problem arises when you start buying stuff just because you can, that you can't afford and don't really need. All my 0% furniture items were needed and make up a very small percentage of my debt, I did actually have the money to buy them outright at the time but chose not to, that money was better used doing the actual work to my house or else my credit cards would have ended up even higher.

I hate my bathroom, it truly is vile and looks disgusting no matter how much I clean it. My stairs carpet is worn threw on several steps but we don't have the money so it will just have to wait, it's all still useable.

drownindebt

quintwins wrote: »

Does your wife know your financial situation?

I see no issue with 0% finance deals on things like sofas if your not paying over the odd's and can actually afford it and actually need it. The problem arises when you start buying stuff just because you can, that you can't afford and don't really need. All my 0% furniture items were needed and make up a very small percentage of my debt, I did actually have the money to buy them outright at the time but chose not to, that money was better used doing the actual work to my house or else my credit cards would have ended up even higher.

I hate my bathroom, it truly is vile and looks disgusting no matter how much I clean it. My stairs carpet is worn threw on several steps but we don't have the money so it will just have to wait, it's all still useable.

Yes she does. She knows my debt and how stingy I am because I want to be debt free.

If I get the problems patched up and keep the place clean with a few plants, I think I'll be much happier about things :j