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Money Savers Arms

Last ooorders!… We’re sorry but for now, due to resources, we need to close the Money Savers Arms including Discussion Time.

It’s not easy to write this. We love the forum, but we also have a job to do to protect it, our users and MoneySavingExpert, and at the moment, with all our resources focused on Coronavirus information, and all the team at home, we don’t feel we have the resources to do a good enough job.

For four months, we’ve been struggling to cope with the huge volumes of messages we’ve been getting from Forumites – many of whom are in desperate and dire straits with their finances. The team have been working all hours to try and keep on top of it. At first we thought it’d be a short sharp spike, but it isn’t, it’s continuing, so we have had some difficult choices to make about prioritisation.

Unfortunately in, and likely because of, these stressful times, the Forum team have also been receiving an increasing number of complaints about posts made on the Money Savers Arms and Discussion Time. The team have done what they can to try and walk the tightrope of balancing all the various interests, but for now we need to draw a line under this and temporarily close this Board, so we can keep the key, MoneySaving boards – where people are supporting each other through this crisis - running smoothly.

We know this board is important to you, but as the MSE stance has been forbearance throughout this crisis, now we ask that of you. We’re sorry. Of course you can post on other boards, but we’d ask you to stick to the subjects of those boards, and not use them as a surrogate Money Savers Arms or Discussion Time. And as always please be kind and friendly to each other, especially any newbies.

MSE Forum Team

Funny Joke Thread

edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Funny Money
6.4K replies 912.1K views


  • Don't go to church. Might burst into flames upon entrance.
  • givememoneygivememoney Forumite
    1.1K posts
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts I've been Money Tipped!
    I had a little bunny, it's nose was very runny, people think it's funny, but it's snot
  • FruitcakeFruitcake Forumite
    50.3K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    I was out with friends in Bristol the other night and got chatting to an American chap whilst I was waiting at the bar. He told me he was visiting England with his wife and said she was a Native American whose tribal name was Five horses.

    I asked him what her name meant and he said, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.
    I married my cousin. I had to...
    I don't have a sister. :D
    All my screwdrivers are cordless.
    "You're Safety Is My Primary Concern Dear" - Laks
  • Ebe_ScroogeEbe_Scrooge Forumite
    5K posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    The little native American Indian boy asks his Dad, "How do you choose our names ?"

    His dad explains that tradition dictates that a child is named after the first thing the mother sees when she emerges from the birthing teepee. "That's why your brother is called Majestic Eagle Soaring, and your sister is called Peaceful River Flowing. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fuc*ing ?".
    I may not know much about art, but I know what I like.
  • RobisereRobisere Forumite
    3.2K posts
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    Harry and Tom are two shipwrecked sailors in a lifeboat, when an old lamp comes bobbing past. Tom grabs the lamp, rubs it and a Genie appears.
    "I can only give you one wish," says the genie "Another man used two yesterday then died of a heart attack, what do you wish for?"

    Harry is thinking, but Tom, a heavy drinker, blurts out "Turn the sea into beer!"

    POOOF!! The sea is beer and the genie vanishes, job done.

    "That's great!" says Harry "Now we have to pee in the boat!"
    I think this job really needs
    a much bigger hammer.
  • Ebe_ScroogeEbe_Scrooge Forumite
    5K posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Quick-fire oldies but goodies :

    What is a nuclear physicist's favourite food ?
    Fission chips.

    Why do Anarchists only drink herbal tea ?
    Because they know that proper tea is theft.

    Two parrots sitting on a perch.
    One says to the other, "Can you smell fish ?"

    Two goldfish in a tank.
    One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing ?"

    Two snowmen in a field.
    One says to the other, "Can you smell carrots ?"

    Two cannibals eating a clown.
    One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you ?"

    What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall ?

    And finally, one guaranteed to make the children laugh .....

    Why did the baker have brown hands ?
    Because he kneaded a poo.
    I may not know much about art, but I know what I like.
  • peter_the_piperpeter_the_piper Forumite
    30K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I've been training to become a ventriloquist, I'm very good at it, even if I say so myself..........
    I'd rather be an Optimist and be proved wrong than a Pessimist and be proved right.
  • Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
    -because every play has a cast.

  • Ebe_ScroogeEbe_Scrooge Forumite
    5K posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    A man reports his wife missing to the police. A couple of days later there's a knock at the door, and a uniformed officer asks if he can come in.

    "Sir", he says, "It is my sad duty to inform you that your wife's body was found in the harbour today. When the divers recovered the body, there were 6 lobsters clinging to it. This may sound insensitive, but legally the lobsters belong to you - what would you like to do with them ?".

    "Well", says the man thoughtfully ..... "Give 3 to me, you take 3, and set her again tonight".
    I may not know much about art, but I know what I like.
  • BelenusBelenus Forumite
    1.6K posts
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    "Will I be OK doc?"

    "I doubt it, Mercury is now in Uranus."

    "I don't do that astrology stuff."

    "Me neither, my thermometer just broke in your backside."
    A man walked into a car showroom.
    He said to the salesman, “My wife would like to talk to you about the Volkswagen Golf in the showroom window.”
    Salesman said, “We haven't got a Volkswagen Golf in the showroom window.”
    The man replied, “You have now mate".
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