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Need to tell Bank about mental health problems and am v scared (loan-related)
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FreeMama17
Posts: 9 Forumite
Hi,
OK. I'm thanking my lucky stars that this forum is anonymous.
Basically, when I moved from my last town to this one, I was getting so many phone calls from the bank that I just could not handle speaking to them and hearing their questions about when I would be able to get my business loan payments up to date. I had no income from my failing business, had given up my premises to have a baby, and was not really operating my business at all. However, I still had monthly loan repayments to keep up with, and I started robbing Peter to pay Paul, shuffling tiny amounts of money about between accounts to scrape together the £60 (yes, that was all i had to pay per month) to keep them off my back.
The loan will by now be in serious arrears.
I have a history of anxiety and depression, and have been on the receiving end of emotional abuse and financial control/abuse in my marriage for 8 years. I'm awaiting assessment for Asperger's/Autism as well.
When I moved here, I changed phone numbers and didn't inform the bank of my new address. I was mired in terrible stress, perpetual panic mode, snappy, suicidal, not sleeping well, feeling very ill and not myself at all.
Now I have found out that they might be sympathetic to my mental health problems, I want to contact them, citing my health as the reason why i stopped responding to them and why I have gone silent on them. I still have a current a/c with the same bank and they have my new address, so it seems odd that they are not making that connection, and aren't chasing me for the business a/c stuff.
Anyway, my paranoia is that as soon as I get in touch with them re: MH problems driving my total inability to face them or to do anything to resolve the problems, they will then have my address and will come down heavy with recovery/legal proceedings. (Terrified as I write this). It's like I want to just go to them and blurt it all out and have them hear me out and help me, but I feel like they will just be very very hard and stony with me and I will set off a domino effect with disastrous consequences. I'm absolutely petrified.
Do you think they would look on my case with any kindness?
OK. I'm thanking my lucky stars that this forum is anonymous.
Basically, when I moved from my last town to this one, I was getting so many phone calls from the bank that I just could not handle speaking to them and hearing their questions about when I would be able to get my business loan payments up to date. I had no income from my failing business, had given up my premises to have a baby, and was not really operating my business at all. However, I still had monthly loan repayments to keep up with, and I started robbing Peter to pay Paul, shuffling tiny amounts of money about between accounts to scrape together the £60 (yes, that was all i had to pay per month) to keep them off my back.
The loan will by now be in serious arrears.
I have a history of anxiety and depression, and have been on the receiving end of emotional abuse and financial control/abuse in my marriage for 8 years. I'm awaiting assessment for Asperger's/Autism as well.
When I moved here, I changed phone numbers and didn't inform the bank of my new address. I was mired in terrible stress, perpetual panic mode, snappy, suicidal, not sleeping well, feeling very ill and not myself at all.
Now I have found out that they might be sympathetic to my mental health problems, I want to contact them, citing my health as the reason why i stopped responding to them and why I have gone silent on them. I still have a current a/c with the same bank and they have my new address, so it seems odd that they are not making that connection, and aren't chasing me for the business a/c stuff.
Anyway, my paranoia is that as soon as I get in touch with them re: MH problems driving my total inability to face them or to do anything to resolve the problems, they will then have my address and will come down heavy with recovery/legal proceedings. (Terrified as I write this). It's like I want to just go to them and blurt it all out and have them hear me out and help me, but I feel like they will just be very very hard and stony with me and I will set off a domino effect with disastrous consequences. I'm absolutely petrified.
Do you think they would look on my case with any kindness?
0
Comments
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Do you have a payment plan you can offer them?Please do not quote spam as this enables it to 'live on' once the spam post is removed.
If you quote me, don't forget the capital 'M'
Declutterers of the world - unite! :rotfl::rotfl:0 -
It would be a very small amount each month.0
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Did you put personal guarantees for that loan? If not and the business is defunct you could liquidate it, which means that its assets would be used to repay the company debts and you would be off on your merry way. Have a read: https://www.gov.uk/liquidate-your-company0
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What bank is it? If an LBG brand - Lloyds, Halifax, Bank of Scotland - they are doing lots of work with Mental Health UK at the moment on supporting vulnerable customers as part of their charity of the year.
The world in general is becoming much more aware of mental health and banks are not necessarily the big evils they once were.0 -
It might be worth having a chat with one of the free debt charities, like Stepchange, first as they will have seen it all before and be able to advise and help you with discussing this with the bank.
They have a free phone number to call them on
https://www.stepchange.org/"We act as though comfort and luxury are the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about” – Albert Einstein0 -
If you are/were self employed and these are business related debts or even personal debts I suggest you contact the charity Business Debtline for advice.
https://www.businessdebtline.org/0 -
The first people you need to contact is a mental health charity, maybe MIND? Take advice from them before you face the bank, I'm sure there must be plenty of other people in your position. I'm not saying that you should use your condition to try to wriggle out of the repayments, but I am saying that you do not have to do this on your own.
Please do this quickly and don't let things build up on you. Find a suitable charity in your area and make that phone call. Good luck.I came into this world with nothing and I've got most of it left.0 -
Getting this sorted, either through Stepchange or directly with the bank, will do wonders for your state of mind because you'll have all the weight that the "what ifs" are putting on your mind lifted from it.
Whilst you sit there and drive yourself mad with worry wondering what will happen things will only get worse for you, and I'm not talking at all about the money side but your state of mind.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0
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