Stressed. Debt and LBM

bugzie92

Hi all,

Just came for abit of support really, I can see from t his forum there are many on the same journey.
We are both in full time work and have a little one. Most of my debt mounted up paying for day to day expenses and childcare. I'm very sad that I'm now in 11k debt, and it's really stressing me out now. I earn 22k. My partner is in 16k debt and he earns about 33k a year.
Most of my debt is for paying for day to day living and £2300 of it is my partners which they have passed to me. I was in the better position of having 0% deals so it seemed sensible at the time. I have now got a debt management app and a spending app on my phone, so I can crack down on this debt and pay it off. According to my debt management app I will pay it all off by Nov 2019. That's paying about £380 a month. I have to make a lot of cut backs. I will be putting money into savings for christmas and birthdays and car insurance. I am leaving myself about £60-£100 per month spare, for the odd days I forget to do lunch for work etc. Does this sound realistic? I should probably add we live in london hence why we needed credit cards to get by. My partners wage has also gone up significantly since we started getting in to debt. I'm determined to pay it but he is abit more lax about it. I think it's horrible to have so much debt. I just wish I had more to show for it. My partner has nothing really to show for his (he wasn't using CC for day to day living like me, he just spent money on rubbish!)
Anyway I am very determined to pay it off, just wanted to say hello to those on the same journey!

zippygeorgeandben

You're best of posting a full Statement Of Affairs (SOA) - there is a link somewhere.
Looking over your OP, a few things stand out.
1)All debt is manageable and repayable so do not stress out about it. Hiding your head in the sand is stressing about it, something you aren't doing. Don't be too hard on yourself.
2)What exactly has been 'passed to you'? Your partners debts? i.e. you could get 0% deals and he couldn't? That's already a concern if he couldn't get them and didn't think anything of saddling you with his debts.
3)Living in London means you have to use credit cards to get by? Nonsense. I live in London, you have to budget accordingly.
4)Great that you are willing to pay your debts but it's so much better if you get the OH on board. Two heads are better than one.
5)I don't have anything to show for my debts either but what should you have to show? Just because a few holiday aren't tangible times, doesn't mean it wasn't fulfilling at the time.
Post an SOA and we can tell you where to tighten your belts!

consultant31

Link to SOA:

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

bugzie92

Hi all,
Well a little update from before.
We had to move house, and I had to take the brunt of it. We were living in a furnished house before, so had to buy a lot of furniture. I also took a little more of my partners debt of him (around £800).
I'm currently sat at 11,250. He is still around 16k. Not sure how given I have bought most of the things for the new house (well on CC that is) but hey ho!

I couldn't work the SOA thing so here is a break down of my outgoings

Wage: £1230 (I earn 22k but have salary sacrife for my train ticket which was about £2k for the year. I'm also going to opt into childcare voucher scheme so I am factoring that in too)
Child benefit £82

Total income per month: £1312

Outgoings
Phone: £42 (tied until Dec 19)
Shopping: £240 - £300 (£60 per week, depending on length of the month! This includes lunches for work, family of 3 by the way, so far budget not going well)
Gas and electricity: £87 (cheapest supplier I could find)
Water: £27 (metered)
Life insurance: £20.41
Council tax: £125 (over 12 months)
Union £9.90
Delivery safer £7
Extra curricula activity for my son: £50
Total: 606.99 - 666.99

I also propose putting £120 in savings for birthdays / xmas / car insurance (I prefer to pay annually as it works out much cheaper).

So
726.99 - 786.99

I am thinking of paying around £400 per month debt. Does this sound realistic? I am quite disciplined and desperate to get out of debt! Even if it's just getting out of my own so I can work on my partners abit!

Thanks

determined_new_ms

it does sound realistic but you really need to do a full statement of affairs which takes into account EVERYTHING.

It sounds like you organise your finances the way I do - I manage one account for all household expenditure that both myself and oh pay a set amount into pcm. It is quite tight but I try to achieve economies from it to build up a little buffer for emergencies or when something is needed - in the last month we got a super king size bed & mattress, a kettle and a washing machine and this all came from the buffer.

I then have my main bank account. I have set amounts I put aside for various annual spends. I do know roughly how much I spend on each category py/pcm and then give myself an *allowance* for spending money which I can spend on whatever I want. I don't have debt, but squirrel off to savings, but it's the same theory. I budget and work out what I can afford for each category and pay those on payday leaving myself my allowance in my account. Throughout the month I try to have economies - spending and groceries are the main areas where I can achieve this. When we had debt then these extra funds would go towards the debt.

Also look to ways you can increase your income. The more you earn *extra* the quicker your debt will be gone/.

Good luck

determined_new_ms

also get your oh on board it makes life so much easier

bugzie92

I have added all my outgoings, other then entertainment fund, after deducting about £400 it will leave me with a little bit disposable income so I was going to have that as my pocket money so to speak! I just need to work on sticking with it. It's so easy not to bother making lunches for work but then that costs us £6 a day! Last week was the first week we went a full week of taking in our lunches. I wish my OH had the same commitment as me, he gets paid a lot more than I do but he does pay the rent (I pay the bills, shopping and childcare). I know he must have quite a lot left after his bills though. But he is a lot more comfortable with spending more and more with all the debt. I feel like I have a dark cloud over me with my debt. I always worry what will happen if one of us was made redundant or something! I really want to remove that stress from
My life asap!

enthusiasticsaver

You are going to struggle clearing the debt if your OH is not on board. London is expensive to live but if you need credit cards for day to day living then you are overspending and this is not sustainable.

I would not have taken on £2300 of your OHs debt if he is not bothered about clearing it. Just concentrate on your own until he faces up to it. You can always build up some savings to help you feel more secure after your debt is cleared. Otherwise you are just enabling him to carry on overspending.

armchairexpert

Does the rent cost more than the shopping, bills, childcare and council tax?

Or, as I suspect, are you paying for two thirds of the household expenses on a significantly lower income than your OH, as well as paying off the debts he racked up on personal spending?

bugzie92

Nope rent is 1225 😤🤒. But he does take home well over 2k so it evens out. When we sorted our bills we both ended up with the same amount of disposable income. I just utilise mine abit better. Drives me mad when we go for a McDonald's or something and he pulls out a credit card! I end up paying when he does that (he ain't daft!).
He just hasn't had that moment yet I don't think.

System

bugzie92 wrote: »

Nope rent is 1225 😤🤒. But he does take home well over 2k so it evens out. When we sorted our bills we both ended up with the same amount of disposable income. I just utilise mine abit better. Drives me mad when we go for a McDonald's or something and he pulls out a credit card! I end up paying when he does that (he ain't daft!).
He just hasn't had that moment yet I don't think.

Your rent is v.high compared to your wages. Thought about moving?