The Nice People Thread, No.16: A Universe of Niceness.

SingleSue

It has been confirmed, the cost and upheaval will be too much to make it feasible to adapt my house. They gave up when it reached 25k and there were still costs to be added, so the council (who give the disabled facilities grant) have said no, it is not economically viable.

The only way forward now is a move to a suitably adapted bungalow. I will be a priority case apparently but the housing OT is giving me the weekend to discuss things with the boys and family before putting the paperwork across. She has however, already sounded out the housing officer at the housing association my house is through and she agrees there is no other option and that they should be able to sort something out fairly quickly.


I'm devastated, I know this house isn't perfect but it has been my home for 20 years and the thought of packing everything up and moving is overwhelming. I already don't have the energy reserves to do normal stuff let alone move on top, so no idea how I am going to cope. Saying that, the housing officer told the housing OT that these houses are not fit for purpose and should be pulled down and new ones built in their place, they were only supposed to be temporary anyway to deal with the damage caused during the blitz and yet here they still are all these years later (it's a prefab, when next door close their front door my whole house moves!)

PasturesNew

SingleSue wrote: »

....

I won't wax lyrical about how good that is and how great it'll be for you as you're currently "grieving" your change of life.

Awful things will be going through your mind and you won't settle until it's over... moving's like that!

For moving/packing .... you've a lot of family that could help, but, on the basis they're unavailable/unreliable/hiding from you, the removals people will provide a "packing service" - and you literally sit in your untouched house, door bell goes, you open up the door, point to things, then sit down with a cup of tea and cake and they just ... pack, pack, pack, pack, pack. It's incredible to watch and you really can just sit in a chair and watch them, although when I observed it we actually left the house for 2 hours at one point for a bit of hot food.

It really is one part of moving that, if you can swallow the cost, is worth its weight in gold. You can begrudge the removal expenses and choke on the quotes... but that "packing" service is something that's a joy to pay for (and that's me saying that!).

SingleSue

I had thought about a packing service but I can't even cover the cost of a removal van without a packing service let alone anything else above that.

My plan of action at the moment is to chuck lots of stuff out in the hope there isn't much left by the time we come to move. I'm torn by what to do with the wardrobes in my bedroom, to be honest I don't have that many clothes and I certainly don't need a his and hers wardrobe set but they were a wedding present to ex husband's grandparents and it feels wrong to get rid of them, I thought a lot of his grandmother.

PasturesNew

SingleSue wrote: »

I had thought about a packing service but I can't even cover the cost of a removal van without a packing service let alone anything else above that.

Always a bugg4h..... so expensive, for what seems like "just a couple of blokes and a van for some hours".... just because they happen to have a van and be big/strong enough.

SingleSue wrote: »

My plan of action at the moment is to chuck lots of stuff out in the hope there isn't much left by the time we come to move. I'm torn by what to do with the wardrobes in my bedroom, to be honest I don't have that many clothes and I certainly don't need a his and hers wardrobe set but they were a wedding present to ex husband's grandparents and it feels wrong to get rid of them, I thought a lot of his grandmother.

As you know, I'm going through a lot of this ... very very slowly. I started with "some empty boxes" which I left out and open - and slowly added things to them, then moved them about... then stared - and then dreamed up another size/type of box that'd be better... and so it goes on here....

The issue I am having is packing, but also "staging" the house so it looks like a "proper home for a normal person" ... and not a squat ... and hiding the packed boxes. Overall, I've been surprised how small I can cut the pile down to if I keep moving things about and packing/repacking.

I'd already got a lot of plastic storage tubs - and I'd kept 3-4 packing boxes from my last move. So far all I've bought extra have been: 10 archive boxes with lids + 12 vacuum pack bags (old clothes, linens, towels). I don't even know if my stuff'll go into storage or into another house until it happens!

I DID manage to finally get rid of lots of stuff "kept in case it came in handy" - and finally say goodbye to "bits of furniture I'd kept in case they came in handy".

Offer the wardrobe to the ex - and his extended family. They're as much family heirlooms to his cousins/etc as they are to him. Let it be known widely among his extended family that anybody can have them, don't leave it to him to just choose and say "no" and the rest begrudge it because they never knew. (Unless that was a typo and they were a present to you FROM the grandparents; I read it as it was their wedding present you'd inherited).

I've not got wardrobes... never liked them as they are a huge commitment in strength/ability to move. I've been "getting by" with a £7 Argos hanging rail and really nice/neat little "canvas wardrobe with shelves" I managed to pick up free on Freegle... really like that, as it's portable/manageable by me

My bed's my biggest item - I built it (omg that surprised me!) and I'll be dismantling that (*fingers crossed*) as it's way too big/heavy to be removed by removals men easily.... so I'll just dismantle it in the week leading up to my move ... and leave it as a stack of pieces for removals day.

I'm going to have to get "proper removals" in as it's just me ... and I don't want to rely on "some dodgy bloke/his mate and their Luton van".

"Little and often" is the key ... don't try to bust a gut and get it all sorted/cleared/packed in a day ... do like I did - and leave it dotted about and meander among it, staring at it while you think things through.

Pyxis

SingleSue wrote: »

I had thought about a packing service but I can't even cover the cost of a removal van without a packing service let alone anything else above that.

My plan of action at the moment is to chuck lots of stuff out in the hope there isn't much left by the time we come to move. I'm torn by what to do with the wardrobes in my bedroom, to be honest I don't have that many clothes and I certainly don't need a his and hers wardrobe set but they were a wedding present to ex husband's grandparents and it feels wrong to get rid of them, I thought a lot of his grandmother.

Tempting though it might be to chuck out a lot of stuff, please don't go too mad, especially as you're feeling pressured.

Am wondering whether the Council or HA have any ideas about the packing service/removals etc? There may be a source of funding for such things.
I agree with Pastures, the packing service really takes all the stress out of it. Plus, things like the cardboard packing wardrobes are great, where they just put all hangered clothes straight into them, still on hangers, so no need to pack them.

Been meaning to ask, Sue, are you still doing your part-time job? You haven't mentioned it lately?






Edit..... re. removals firms.......if a good one, they really, really know what they are doing. The first time I used one, I was very stressed at the thought of it all, but they were marvellous... they knew exactly what to do, took all the worry from me, knew exactly how stressful it was for me, and talked me through it all, telling me what to do and what not to do. They were great.

The third lot I chose, which was partly on price, were a right shower. I don't know how my piano survived the bumping they gave it. Plus they severely damaged a wardrobe, and then I found that though I had paid for insurance in their fee, they didn't have any, and were trying to repair it themselves!

So don't pick a firm just on price, and go for a recommended one, and it you have something like a piano, make sure they really do know how to move one properly.






Just read Pastures' post....... lots of good tips there.

PasturesNew

Pyxis wrote: »

Am wondering whether the Council or HA have any ideas about the packing service/removals etc? There may be a source of funding for such things.

I know that if people are forced out of their Council houses - because they're being demolished etc - then they do get some generous expenses to move... but I think in Sue's instance it'll just be a regular "chose to move" type of situation, with nothing forthcoming.

You can see why, realistically - as private renters never get any help towards removal costs, or agency fees, or losses from deposits when they're "forced" to move by their landlord.

Worth investigating, but I'd not be hopeful.

PasturesNew

One thing that is horrific is when you walk into a room and it all looks clear/neat ... whether that's the kitchen or a cupboard .... and you open the door and take everything out to see what you've got ... my GOD there's a lot of awkward and random stuff scattered at your feet and you just want to cry

My under stairs was a bit of a glory hole... it'd hold lots if it had "the right sort of shelving inside it".... and I transformed that when I decluttered Bed2 by removing the plastic shelves I'd put in there (to store the clutter) ... and put that under the stairs. Now everything under the stairs is organised, clutter free and accessible.... but it still exists.

And that's the thing - you can tidy stuff, but it still exists; it might look neat, but it still exists.

It IS hard letting go - I've had to let go of things I'd have preferred to keep, like my parents' matching wardrobes ... I'd have loved to have kept those, but the reality is that to have kept/stored/moved them through my moves would have already cost me over £1k ... so I had to just "let it go".

Clutter: Over the years I've accumulated THREE "food flasks". Good buys ... never actually used one of them to date, had them about 10 years.... can't let go yet as "they might come in handy" - and they're not big .... but, add that into everything else that's "not big" and suddenly "my god that's a big pile"

Looking around/ thinking about stuff.... I truly believe that my next house will require 2-3 GOOD sheds or 1 shed and a really good utility room... but for the cost of a utility room, sheds are cheaper (if they're good sheds).

ivyleaf

PasturesNew wrote: »

I give up... no A levels apparent.

It's very confusing trying to work out who does courses, where, what etc... all these strange acronyms and talking about "Level..." and "Level...."

I was going to look at our local adult ed brochure which came through the letterbox last month, so I could tell you (just for curiosity's sake) whether any A level courses were available, then realised that I'd put it in the recycling last week, as all the classes were so expensive that I'd never get around to signing up for anything anyway

To think that in 1981-82 I was able to do a course totally free through the WEA It wasn't an exam course, it was called "New Opportunities for Women" but it was so much fun and so interesting.

I'll carry on catching up with the thread now.

SingleSue

PasturesNew wrote: »

Always a bugg4h..... so expensive, for what seems like "just a couple of blokes and a van for some hours".... just because they happen to have a van and be big/strong enough.



As you know, I'm going through a lot of this ... very very slowly. I started with "some empty boxes" which I left out and open - and slowly added things to them, then moved them about... then stared - and then dreamed up another size/type of box that'd be better... and so it goes on here....

The issue I am having is packing, but also "staging" the house so it looks like a "proper home for a normal person" ... and not a squat ... and hiding the packed boxes. Overall, I've been surprised how small I can cut the pile down to if I keep moving things about and packing/repacking.

I'd already got a lot of plastic storage tubs - and I'd kept 3-4 packing boxes from my last move. So far all I've bought extra have been: 10 archive boxes with lids + 12 vacuum pack bags (old clothes, linens, towels). I don't even know if my stuff'll go into storage or into another house until it happens!

I DID manage to finally get rid of lots of stuff "kept in case it came in handy" - and finally say goodbye to "bits of furniture I'd kept in case they came in handy".

Offer the wardrobe to the ex - and his extended family. They're as much family heirlooms to his cousins/etc as they are to him. Let it be known widely among his extended family that anybody can have them, don't leave it to him to just choose and say "no" and the rest begrudge it because they never knew. (Unless that was a typo and they were a present to you FROM the grandparents; I read it as it was their wedding present you'd inherited).

I've not got wardrobes... never liked them as they are a huge commitment in strength/ability to move. I've been "getting by" with a £7 Argos hanging rail and really nice/neat little "canvas wardrobe with shelves" I managed to pick up free on Freegle... really like that, as it's portable/manageable by me

My bed's my biggest item - I built it (omg that surprised me!) and I'll be dismantling that (*fingers crossed*) as it's way too big/heavy to be removed by removals men easily.... so I'll just dismantle it in the week leading up to my move ... and leave it as a stack of pieces for removals day.

I'm going to have to get "proper removals" in as it's just me ... and I don't want to rely on "some dodgy bloke/his mate and their Luton van".

"Little and often" is the key ... don't try to bust a gut and get it all sorted/cleared/packed in a day ... do like I did - and leave it dotted about and meander among it, staring at it while you think things through.

No typo, it was a present to his grandparents on their wedding day...so they are old, very old and very very solid and heavy.


I'll ask him what he wants to do with them, he is only in contact with one cousin (he only has 3) and he has no idea where the others are. I doubt his mum would want them, she had first refusal on them before (just over 30 years ago which is how long I have had them) and her comments were along the lines of "Hell no!"

My plan was to do exactly that, a bit a day..I just hope they give me enough time to do a bit a day!

PasturesNew

SingleSue wrote: »

....I just hope they give me enough time...

If it's next week, or mid January, or a year .... there is no such thing as "enough time"

So do not ever feel bad about feeling you've "not enough time" as it simply doesn't exist.