Annoyed at myself

cheeky-peach

Hi all,


Long time lurker... hopefully this is the correct place. I believe I already know what I need to do but just after some validation really.


So recently, my circumstances have changed. I asked my husband to move out after I'd had enough of living with what felt like a teenager. I kept a record of all my outgoings (I managed the money) and I knew that I could afford to stay put, pay the bills on my own and get on the path to saving more money.


One problem I'm having is my attempt to live within my means in my new circumstance. Having gotten used to having someone to share the bills with, it's been a bit of an eye opener and what I can describe as a backward-step really into paying everything again. I say this because when husband and I first moved in together he wasn't working and wasn't entitled to any job seekers etc as they took into account my earnings so I paid for everything then too. I digress... I'm still eating out with friends, buying 'stuff' I don't really need etc just like I did before; I guess it's formed a habit which will take some breaking.


A second problem is my loop with my credit card. I'll convince myself that I want something (it's usually a bigish purchase) then when I get a bonus I pay it off. This CC is always interest free so in my mind "it's fine" even though I know I'm only robbing my future self. An example of this was a laptop I bought in March - my bonus is getting paid tomorrow and I will pay the CC off in full (I have been making the minimum payments until now) and I know I then need to cancel the card, bin it and suck it up. This is probably the 3rd time this has happened which I'm annoyed with myself for because my bonus is essentially already spent before I've even seen it and this is assuming to myself that I'll get one - one year it will no doubt come to pass that they aren't paying out bonuses and I'll be left scrimping to pay the card off which is why I want to nip this in the bud now.


This problem is this month, I've spent too much and have well and truly neglected YNAB and ended up putting a few things on my card; food and fuel mainly as I have not been buying non-essentials on it but again, this shouldn't need to happen as my budget is more than enough to manage on - just the amount of "entertainment" expenses needs to stop.


I know I need to meal plan... I WILL meal plan. As it's just me it should be straight forward.
I need to get YNAB up and running again with an accurate reflection and ensure I stick to updating it with every penny I spend.


I've decided to have a frugal July and by documenting my rules, I can't be forced to allow myself exceptions (or so I hope). Debt-free diary possibility?


Thanks for reading anyway... any extra suggestions will be gratefully received.

Shashy

Sounds like you already know the answer.

If you want detailed help on individual expenses, post an SOA.

Wookey

You could potentially have a few very big bills in front of you, namely a divorce and maybe house sale or buyout if you aren't renting. I would be setting aside as much as possible every month to cover these expenses should they arise.

cheeky-peach

Thanks Wookey - I am renting and I do have a small emergency fund which my solicitor's fees are being taken out of. He's filed for the divorce so he's paid the court costs just the other bits here and there for me to pay for (for my solicitor to check over paperwork etc).

itchyfeet123

A trick for unnecessary purchases is to tell yourself you're allowed to buy whatever you want, but you have to wait two hours/days/weeks/months. If you still want a takeaway in two hours or a new laptop in two months, go right ahead, but most of the time it's either forgotten or not appealing.

EssexHebridean

Cut the card up. Right now. Go on.

Done it?

There you go - loop broken. And yes, it IS that easy!

You need to look to bolster your emergency fund ready for those legal fees to deplete it - otherwise the temptation is to keep the card on a "what if" basis.

You're right about spending habits - but the good news is that NOT spending can form just as much of a habit. Budget for small treats - a night out with friends here, a trip to visit family, a portion of chips on a Friday night, a CD or DVD bought from a charity shop - none of these things need to break the bank but they can be real mood-lifters when you're feeling a bit glum - especially the ones involving other people.

Budget is the key word though - you need a proper one - all written down and everything. Try using the SOA tool linked to in the "Sticky" post at the top of the page. Fill it in as accurately as you can and then if you want post it in here and we can see if there is anywhere you could make savings, or anything you've missed. That will also tell you what surplus you should have at the end of each month and from there you can work out whether in fact you DO have that money. A spending diary sounds like it might be a plan for you as well - to catch all those little spends that you'd never think about otherwise. (Try with impulse spends getting the notebook out to write them in BEFORE you pay - you might find that disincentivises you).

Debt free diary also sounds like an excellent idea!

raino144

If you are planning a frugal July head over to https://www.frugalwoods.com - they have done an "ultra frugal month challenge" in Jan which they are repeating for July. Hopefully it will help kickstart your frugal habit