Help: feeling desperate being made bankrupt by IR

dreamon_3

Thank you all for your advice and comments. Thank god I found this site, it's such a comfort to know that I am not being judged. I went to bed at six this morning and took some sleeping pills. Ive made an appointment to see the docs later this week as I really need help with this.

Can I bore you with my woes ? I'm under the doctor already for depression asI was in a suicidal state a few years back when we were faced with eviction from our house (the courts eventually allowed us to sell it). I have had trouble coming to terms with losing our home and knowing that we will never be in a position again to have anything to look forward to, to make plans, to go on holiday or to leave something to my children for their future. We have been fighting to pay off debts for so long that it has become a way of life and we have nothing to show for all the hard work we put into our business. We've made business mistakes but have never lived the high life, my children went to state schools, we had the odd package holiday lived in a 3 bed semi but we have also had such bad luck along the way as well. Even when we got involved with an IVA the practioners went bust and we lost money that we paid to them, they were also our accountants and all our books went missing, the rescue company that took them over were ruthless and we had to go to court to prove that we had paid most of the IVA and that our accounting books were in their possession. We had to pay for a lawyer who was usless and we lost the case, we could not afford to go to appeal and we ended up paying almost double what the IVA was for. This has been one of my arguments with the Inland Revenue as tax had been paid and returns submitted. We were going round in circles it's all been a nightmare. I think it is the fact that I cannot face another horrible court experience, I fear it will tip me over the edge.

I have not been on benefits, I could not claim for sick benefit as I haven't worked for over 2 years. My husband has spoken to the council a few months ago and this rent is crippling us and they said their priority at the moment is the immigrants and emergency cases , fill in the form and we see if you fit the bill if not you may be accepted to go on the council waiting list which at present is 3 to five years ? We have just applied for housing benefit but we know our landlord with go ape when he finds out.

I know I have to speak to someone about this, Ive got to get my head straight as at the moment I'm a mess when I talk to people. Hopefully the doc will give me something stronger to make me more stable.

My OH now knows as he made me go to bed seeing me slumped over the desk in the early hours. He will support me of course, we have been through all sorts together but it has taken it's toll on us and much of the time we don't even communicated with each other.

In the meanwhile. Does anyone know how long this will take ? Will I have to go to court ? Can anyone recommend another bank that my husband can apply to get a basic account for his salary to be paid into ? We are with the Halifax at the moment. His saalry is due to go in on the 15th of the month will the account be frozen by then. When do the banks knows about my bankruptcy ?

Thank you all for your kind words and advice.

fiveyearplan

You do have things to look forward to. Owning a house isn't the be all and end all. Think of the positive things you have - your health and family are the only important things in life. I want to say more but I'm running late for work. You will get through this just as I will.

dreamon_3

fiveyearplan wrote: »

You do have things to look forward to. Owning a house isn't the be all and end all. Think of the positive things you have - your health and family are the only important things in life. I want to say more but I'm running late for work. You will get through this just as I will.

Yeh I know, I have to keep telling myself that all that time, it's only my kids that make me stop from jumping, thing is I'm mentally unstable at the moment _pale_ and have gone into a totally self pity phase, please bear with me, I need to unload .

Hoping you get through it to :grouphug:

rog2

Hi dreamon - I'm really sorry that I have only just seen this thread.

I was declared bankrupt by HMRC, in October of 2006, in very similar circumstances to those that you describe.
HMRC, as one would expect from the 'Civil Service', are responsible for by far the highest number of creditor petition bankruptcies in the UK. They are a particularily unforgiving creditor and, in my experience, will not negotiate before bankruptcy, nor offer you any 'real' help with your situation.
I am of the opinion that HMRC are purely 'statistic driven' - they seem quite happy to let the big guys get away with 'shafting' them for millions, yet appear to be disproportionately hard on the 'small' self-employed business person, whose only 'crime' is often the inability to fill in a form (which, itself is the subject of an investigation for its unnecessary complicated nature). This is, in my opinion, due to the fact that they are judged on case numbers rather than amount of money.
I agree with most of the advice already posted. Bankruptcy may well be a 'blessing in disguise' for you, and is certainly not the 'end of the world' as some might have us believe.
If they haven't already, HMRC will first 'serve' a 'Statutory Demand' - this is always done in person, by HMRC, and the 'SD' will contain details of the HMRC 'Solicitor' with whom you can 'try' and negociate
Personally, and this is with the benefit of hindsight, I would advise jumping the gun and going for a 'debtor's petition' I realise that this option will cost you, but, in my opinion, you will be more in control of the situation - including the choice of Court (HMRC always use the High Court - London - which can be awkward if you don't live near London). Also, certainly in my case, the OR gave HMRC (my largest creditor) to appoint a trustee with whom I am still trying to sort out the beneficial interest in my house (almost there).
In saying all of the above - the fact that HMRC petitioned for my bankruptcy did not affect my early discharge, which I got after 6 months.
No 'bailiffs' will call - and it probably won't be noticed, in the local papers.

I agree with others that owning a house is not the 'be all and end all', but in my case, we have owned the house for 30 years, and it holds fond memories for not only me, but my wife and children. We are,currently, in the throes of 'buying back' my beneficial interest from the trustee, but that has been our choice. The monthly payments on the 'mortgage' that we are having to take out, equates, more or less, to the equivalent rental that we would have to pay anyway.

It really is a pity, dreamon, that it is simply not possible to'deal' with HMRC.
I'm tempted to believe that they honestly enjoy 'clocking up the statistics.'

susieh_2

Welcome dreamon,

I'm fairly new to this, even though we went br in June 2004, (wish I'd found this forum then!!). I can't add much to all the advice you've already been given, except that our circs where very much like your own. Most of our debt was for VAT, they were very difficult to deal with & sent bailiffs twice & twice we out when they called for the car (not on purpose I may add). In the end we declared ourselves br as I felt the need to be in charge - as we had'nt been for so long - once the deed had been done and notice was given we never heard from them again, unlike some of our other creditors, (another story).
I really do understand what your saying about your relationship and ours was very similar and I'm not saying that it was back on tracks straight away, when you're going through as much as you are things take time, but your relationships with those nearest and dearest are worth so much and they're worth fighting for, they'll be around long after the br is a distant memory.

Take care and remember there are always people here to offer both practical and emotional support when ever you feel the need.

susieh x x x

madoldbat

Hi Dreamon
Glad to see your post.As you can see ther are lots of people who want to help were we can.
Rog2 is a mine of info about HMRC and a very nice chap

Please try to remember your real home is your children and OH not bricks and mortor .Your hugs,care and love means far more to them than holidays or money.Your peace of mind and good health are vital to their wellbeing so you owe it to them to look after yourself.
Please feel free to offload/de stress and ask loads of questions (I do & the nice people on here still put up with me).Ther will always someone here to listen.For now big hug and I look forward to your next post.

finito

Dreamon,

As has been said many times before in this thread, and by people with a lot more experience than me, I reckon the IR might just be doing you a favour.

I hope to go BR later this month (as soon as I have the £485 together) and to be honest, I am looking forward to getting it done!!!

I was near breaking point, as you too have been. I was becoming dependent on alcohol and cocaine. I had almost ceased to function as a person. My rapidly expanding drink and drug habit was only getting me deeper into debt!!

But the fighter within wouldn't let me go down that route. Now I am on anti depressents and I no longer use alcohol in excess or class A drugs at all.

I feel a million dollars, and life is good once again.

Dreamon, if you know there is no other route for you to go down, embrace the BR route and feel no pain or shame as life is sometimes difficult, but never worth giving up on!!!!!!

I wish you all the best, and I will remember you in my prayers!!!!:A

DEBTMONKEY1A

Dreamon (classic depeche mode song by the way from their last but one album, exciter!). Short & sweet here. Obviously-call one of the debt charities but it seems an open & shut case-br is the way!

U have 2 choices-wait for tax to do it or cobble together £500 odd quid & DO IT NOW! The split 2nd you leave that court you owe NOTHING.

Sure-you'll have an OR interview...SO WHAT? Its 2-4 hours of your life & as long as you are straight with them you'll be discharged in 1 year max-probably 6 months!

I was depressed too & drinking way to much (beleive me it does not help at all as next day the feelings are there but worse)-so-forgive me if I'm prying (it's just the sluimped over the desk bit that got me thinking!) & if you are doing this STOP for 3 days completely (if you have a drink regualrly the 1st nights kip is crap but the brain is OS much clearer!)....if I barking up the wrong tree I apologise-just looking out for you!

I owed the IR many years of tax/ni-OR did not bat an yelid.


You will feel like the biggest WEIGHT has gone the second you leave the court! beleive me-it;s an easy process-court 1/2 hour -2 hours max-or interview 4 hours tops-JOB DONE!

aIT AIN'T WORTH YOUR HEALTH-IT'S ONLY MONEY! You've got enough money gor rent for a while-I'd do it NOW rather than wait for the IR.

If you need help with your SOA/papers-the good folk on here will help.

Hope that helps!