Adventures of the Boy & Me..

Chandelier.

Thanks Bob and Hidden.

So we're five days into our holidays and it's truly wonderful. The sun has been shining, its nice and warm with a cool gentle breeze. We are all inclusive and the food is just enough and we haven't eaten out once yet. However I think we will be going to a steak house tonight, so first meal out of our holidays. So far I've not spent that much, just on little bits here and there. The boy has gone through three sets of arm bands since we've been here, we clearly need shares in them. I'm not quite sure why they keep getting little holes and deflating. Maybe I blow them up too much.

The boy is having a whale of a time! He's been in the pool lots, jumping in and going down all the slides.. he's been making new little friends and he just seems alot more relaxed. He's also been to the kids club here and joined in lots of activities and last night he was in a show.. dressed as a chicken. He looked absolutely wonderful- I took a photo ready for his 18th birthday .

We've been to the beach here and spent a good few hours there and the rest of the time we've stayed at the hotel.!

At first I was a little unsettled with a new place and unfamiliar surroundings but now I've happily settled and I'm more relaxed then I have been in a long while. It's clearly doing me good and I'm gaining a nice colour.! I have olive skin that is easily tanned. The boy however is quite fair, blond hair blue eyes so need lots of suncream. I bought quite a lot with me but no doubt will need to get some more as we are going through lots of it. However it's very expensive here, they want around 18 euro a bottle, ouch.

I've checked my online banking whilst I'm here, all is well in that respect. I just have one more direct debit come out on Monday. I'm wondering whether it's worth setting it up as a standing order instead to come out on the first of the month rather then later on. I need to do this for all my accounts really so it would be much easier to see what's left after all other direct debits have come out. I sometimes find it confusing though and some banks/credit card accounts make it confusing to find.

Anyhow, we've just had breakfast and now we are sat on the sun loungers waiting for the pool to open. Later we are going to play football on the beach with the entertainment organisers from the hotel. It really is a child/family orientated hotel and I can find no faults what so ever. I'd definitely recommend to people.

Bobarella

Sounds marvellous! Enjoy every moment.

Hiddenidenity

Sounds lovely

Keep soaking up that lovely sun

JoJoC

Hi Chandelier, Lovely to see your new, positive diary! I'll look forward to following it.

Enjoy your holiday!

Chandelier.

So we're just into our second week of our holiday now. We've had a small rain shower this afternoon which was lovely- the droplets were ice cold on your back whilst the sun was still shining. It's moments like these that I feel truly in the moment. I struggle alot with mindfulness exercises but it's the small things like above which really bring me back to the present. It's the type of things I remember and reflect back on when I need to find my safe place.

My final direct debit for the month has come out now. I forgot that I changed the amount before I came away on holiday so it actually took more then I expected and went into an unarranged overdraft. However FD seem really good and sent a text saying I had up until just before midnight to transfer some money around before it added charges. So I've moved some money around and brought it back to a positive balance. I'll update my debt totals later.

I forgot that I'd made a purchase in the airport before we arrived. I bought myself some of my favourite perfume as it had 40% off.. so that was just under £50 for that but it will last me a long while. I usually wear it for special occasions only and the scent lasts a long while too when worn. I figured as I've hardly spent much on myself in a while I mays well treat myself whilst I could- the discount couldn't be sniffed at and saved me around! £28.

The boy is currently hanging out in kids club rehearsing for a show tonight and I'm sat having a cup of tea in the sun and catching up with everything and letting my mind wander. He seems to like kids club and wants to be there all the time, however I'm allowing him an equal time between there and the pool, and letting him go into the kids club when the sun is at its hottest. We're both somehow peeling from the sun and I never peel. The heat/climate definitely must be different here then previous holidays as we've been caked in sun cream!

I've still a good amount of euros left and the only planned spends we have are for another meal or two out. The food is lovely here but can be a bit repetitive. There's alot of selection to choose from, just enough not to be over bearing but I'm finding I'm rather bloated.! Once I come back off holiday I'm definitely going to make an effort to lose some weight once and for all. I feel like my head is getting into the right mind frame and maybe I'm ready to do this. I always feel like this after a holiday.

I think this time has been really good for me to adjust to my new medication and being able to relax without worrying about things back home. Although I usually like being busy, I've actually forced myself to sit down and chill out and I feel alot better for it.

There is a lot to sort out when I get back home. My fixed term contract ends at the end of June then I'll pick up shifts on the bank and work around myself and the boy then. I'm not overly worried about rushing in to another job straight away and will take the time to improve myself. I think working around 30 hours will be the optimum for myself. It's enough to live on and I won't overwork myself- if I need to work more shifts then I can always do the extra if I feel like it and I'll try and work most Sundays for the enhancements.

So there's alot to think about, but for now I'll sit back and relax.

Happy Monday everyone

Hiddenidenity

Sounds perfect!

Slightly jealous x

Chandelier.

Afternoon..

I've come and hidden away from the sun for a little while. I'm sat in a corner in the shade with a cup of tea.. this is becoming a routine! I've spent the morning relaxing by the pool and playing with the boy.! We then had our lunch and once again he went off to kids club and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself.! It's been so hot I've been jumping in a few times just to cool off. I've found myself people observing too- I do this alot and sit and wonder what each person is like and try to guess what they do. I find other individuals fascinating and love talking to them and hearing their stories or about their lifestyles.!

The hotel is full of families and there have been times where I wish I had someone to share these memories of myself and the boy with. It can be quite daunting stating to others that I'm here by myself with the boy! (along with my friends of course) but I always find myself justifying why I'm single. I don't know why. Sometimes it's as if people expect you to be in a relationship or looking. I'm quite content by myself 99% of the time. I'll know when I'm ready to get back out there and I'll know what I'm looking for in someone else. I have to get myself as close to 100% as possible before I'd even try.

In the past I've had a gander on dating sites.. but I don't think it's for me. I find myself becoming too picky or choosy or worrying about whether the people are really who they state they are. I much prefer meeting someone in person and having a good conversation before thinking about whether I could go on a date with them. And even then that can be difficult for me. I think I could do with some counselling/cbt to help me combat the way I perceive relationships with others (including friendships).

In regards to my debt, I've been sweeping any spare change on my online banking to a side account and when it's built up to a level I deem acceptable, I pay it off my debt. So today I've paid £15 off the Barclaycard debt which should come out within the next few days.

When I come back home I'll have another sit down and go through my budget for June once I know what my incoming wage is for the month. It always differs from month to month. I've a lot to do when I get back in regards to things and I need to budget for upcoming expenses over the next couple of months. My car tax is due beginning of August, car insurance beginning of September and my registration fees in September so I may have to cut back slightly on the debt busting over the summer months.

After all those expenses, I shall work out what I need to budget for and factor in each months budget, in order to save up for the following years expenses. I'm usually quite good at this but have been lax over the past 9 months due to what's been happening in my personal life.

Earlier on I sat down and began to write a list of things I'd like to do this year, whether I'll do them or not is another story but it's something for me to look back on. There is a lot I want to achieve and do but I'm aware not to be too hard on myself. I guess each time I have an idea I'll add it to the list. What I don't manage to do or achieve, I'll add on to next year's list.

As we woke this morning to the news on what has happened in Manchester, it has really made us reevaluate things. My friend whom I'm on holiday with, one of her daughters friends was at the concert but thankfully was okay. It makes you count your blessings.! It was only yesterday I was telling my friend that I want to live for the moment more.

There's quite a lot on my mind at the moment, I'm just deciphering through alot and trying to remain upbeat and positive. I think the next six months may have a couple of bumpy roads and I want to be prepared to ride through it and come out on top form.

I'm going to go up to my room and have a sort out of things and a lie down, ready for tonight's entertainment.! It's been plenty of late nights and early mornings and I'm pretty goosed.

Bye for now

Hiddenidenity

The tragic incident in town really does put things into perspective doesnt it!
Awful ending to what should be such a happy event.

Glad you're still having a wonderful time x

Chandelier.

Morning..

My final payment has come in for the month and! it's made my bank balance look alot healthier. I'm hoping not to spend much of this as I'm wanting to put some more into savings. May has been a bit of an odd month, money wise and spends wise. It's been odd bits here and there, mostly holiday related spends which added up.!

I'll be glad to get back to a proper budget and know where my money goes if I'm quite honest. I think I may resort back to withdrawing money and putting it in envelopes for certain spends/budgets each month, moving savings across at the beginning and then leaving funds in the account for my direct debits for the rest of the month.! I'll then leave my debit card at home and only use when required. I also plan to use a spending diary and jot all my spends.! I've been doing this loosely whilst on holiday and comparing it to what's left in my purse. I'm definitely more aware of the spends here.

I've! €163 left in my purse currently to last us till the end of the holiday. I know we're going out for tea tonight and possibly another meal later in the week. And there are a few things I want to get from the shops to take back home, I'll just budget carefully when we go for meals and watch my spends. We went for a meal the other night which cost me €35- I had steak and the boy had fish and chips and then I had a Kopparberg which I didn't enjoy (waste of money there). I think I'll try keep tonight's budget to around €30 and see if I can beat that. We are going for a walk later on to the shops so I'll check out prices then for the meal out to get a rough guide of what I should expect. I always like to have a rough idea when going out for meals, even when back home so it's not always a shock to the system.

Once home I need to find £50 to pay fees for an upcoming show at Christmas the boy is going to be in. They set it up as a pay plan for parents over four months to spread out the costs. In total it's! £200 but this includes ice time, rehearsal time, practicing and all the hire of costumes.! It's the first year the boy has been in this one so it will be interesting to see whether he enjoys it. Earlier on this year he did a pantomime and absolutely loved it. He loves being on stage and performing.! I've often thought about allowing him to do drama but he already does alot of extra curricular activities. I think if he was allowed he'd never stop.! He's forever singing and dancing around. He's so confident and outgoing and would be brilliant at it. At the moment he does swimming once a week, football twice a week and ice skating three times a week. Quite expensive hobbies but he thoroughly enjoys them and I wouldn't want to take them away from him. I can afford these at the moment and they are part of whom he is as a person and he's flourished so much in doing these, hence why I continue to pay. They are factored into our monthly budget.

In June, its my birthday. I'll be a quarter of a century old. I'm really beginning to worry about my age (I don't know why). I guess I just feel time passes us by so quickly before we know it. We never really celebrate birthdays that much. I'm quite happy and content with a card and a helium balloon.! I love balloons. My favourite film is Up because of all the bright colours. I've always said if I ever get married, I wouldn't have flower arrangements, I'd have lots of multicoloured balloons everywhere ha ha!

I'd quite like to buy myself a new laptop in the upcoming months.! My old one is so slow and I think it's slowly dying a death.! I used to use the laptop alot but I tend not to anymore because it is so slow. I either buy a new one or get my old one wiped by a family member whom is into his computer stuff. However I'm aware he's busy alot these days and I don't want to add that pressure.! I'm guessing we've had our current laptop for at least 6/7 years because I used to use it alot when the boy was born. The other option is to save to buy a new one and give the old one to the boy for his school work and educational games. He loves doing maths on the computer.

I'm thinking about maybe undertaking a short college course in September. It would be something totally different to the profession I'm in now. However I think I would quite enjoy it. Before I enquire I may see if there are some similar courses online and see how I get on with these- I mean the small freebie sites where you can get a taste of the content. If I do that then I'll have a better idea whether it's suited to me.

MeandO

Your holiday sounds amazing Chandelier, glad you're having a wonderful, relaxing time!

Have enjoyed reading your diary through. I too am a single Mum with a little boy, so have subscribed and look forward to reading about your further adventures.

M
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