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A girl desperate for a life without anxiety

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Well I've been a lurker, I joined but never got very far and the anxiety is getting worst and the guilt is always there. I live a lonely life even though I am in a relationship and have 2 children. I don't seem to get very far because I have so many issues that stem from my childhood and don't seem to be overcoming them very well and then because of stupid mistakes I have made Im still paying for them. But I have decided that I need somewhere I can chat away and put ideas down as well as any progress yet I can remain anonymous as I can't have family and friends finding out as they would crucify me. I have suffered enough abuse in my life that I'm not strong enough anymore to deal with it. I honestly have had so much drained out of me.

To the outsiders my life is perfect, my in reality I'm struggling! I just want to make so many changes and really be able to stand up and stand proud!

This diary may bore some of you and I truely don't expect anything, I just need to use this as therapy. Therapy to be able to move on.

Thank you

Comments

  • comeandgo
    comeandgo Posts: 5,930 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Have you been to doctor for help? They may suggest some counselling that may help you. The NHS have good web sites one is called moodjuice, just google it. Aren't we all very good at showing a good face in public but inside things can be so different. Sending you best wishes and I will read your diary.
  • Toni'sfriend
    Toni'sfriend Posts: 4,056 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    I agree with everything Comeandgo has said. Please keep posting and I will read your diary too. I'm no expert but do have some experience of a relative dealing with seveer anxiety/depression and coming out the other side. Let's see if we can give you some support/
    Have adventures. laugh a lot and always be kind.
  • UncannyScot
    UncannyScot Posts: 2,070 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic
    Hi
    Welcome.
    This is a good place to be and we can and will help wherever we can.

    I have anxiety and depression issues and I am also trying hard to get myself back again...

    Post away and get your thoughts and ideas out, I know it helps me
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
  • phizzimum
    phizzimum Posts: 1,712 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Keep posting. It takes a lot of courage to face up to anxiety, well done
    weaving through the chaos...
  • Bobarella
    Bobarella Posts: 10,824 Forumite
    Savvy Shopper! I've been Money Tipped!
    Good luck with everything. There are so many people struggling in one way or another, please don't think it's just you.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe":D

    Debt neutral :) 27/03/17 from £40k:eek: in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
  • jwil
    jwil Posts: 21,985 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Good luck :)
    "Good financial planning is about not spending money on things that add no value to your life in order to have more money for the things that do". Eoin McGee
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