how to live after being a "DFW"

redballoon_2

Hi Guys,

I'm soon to be Debt Free (yay me!) due to consolidating (have a low mortgage of £63k so it will go up to £73k) hopeing this will all go through ouk and then i'll be able to afford all the house hold bills on my wage!

anyway, now that my hubby is working (another yay!) i have worked out that i will actually have money in the bank instead of being overdrawn!

I have swore to myself that i am going to continue my old style and frugal living so that we can save up, but now i have been thinking that we can finally treat ourselfs to some new bedroom furniture or a mini holiday or something, and start looking at stuff online, but i still cant justify spending money! (i'm not going to spend the money now, but thinking of when we do have money to spend)

has anyone ever felt like this?

Burlesque_Babe

I feel like that most days if I'm honest.

since I've been debt free, it's been a bit of a battle against spending.

Yesterday afternoon I was bored and I was sooooo tempted to get in the car and splurge in the supermarket, but I didn't . Hard though!!!

I'm nowhere as bad as I have been in the past - the old pre-MSE me would have been out spending every day and the lovely big pot of savings I've now got would quickly be dwindling.

It does get a bit easier, even time I can tell myself 'no' to something unnecessary, the next time doesn't seem quite so 'tempting'.

My bit of advice would be to stick around the boards every day still. You'll get to see the bargains for the stuff you need, will be able to confess to being tempted by the stuff you want (but don't need!) and you can use MSE as a reminder of how far you have come and that you don't want to go back to being in debt again.

Well, that's what I do anyway!!

elantan

i feel like this and i aint even debt free yet ...i really struggle with spending ...but congrats on your new freedom ...i'm sure you'll be much better at it then you were a debtaholic ...apparenly your meant to have 3 months money as a safety net:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Toto

At first I found it really hard to spend anything, I didn't want to, in fact it almost felt really wrong to have spare money.

Now I need to keep myself in line. We do have a pretty nice income and we are saving, I never take money out of savings either. But, I'm not so good on not spending it before it gets into the savings account.

We just got married and that didn't help with the don't spend mind set, but, I do projections of what we have income wise over the next 12 months and see how much we actually could have in the savings account this time next year. It's a very nice sum indeed and it has given me a push to try and get there. It helps me to have a visual image of what I want to achieve. I know if we save every penny we can pay off our house in the USA within 16 months. That looks far better than any pair of shoes ever could!

Maybe set yourself some long term goals and stick a photo of something relating to that in your purse or next to your computer. It works every time for me.

A_Nice_Englishman

You are free of personal loans, credit cards or whatever but you still owe £73,000. If you can keep up the frugal living while allowing yourselves a few treats and put spare cash towards the mortgage you will save money in interest payments and own your house that much earlier.

That will give you the freedom to take lower paid but more enjoyable jobs, retire earlier, or spend the money in whatever way you want.

lynzpower

I too have struggled hugely with being DF, and frittering- stiull only small amounts, but I do fritter more now than as a dfw.

I have tho put standing order into savings for the same amount as my debt was ( 350) all overpayment money ( ie ebay, Mshoping etc) goes to OHs credit cards.

You are consolidating your debt, so I would continue overpaying the mortgage until the debt is cleared.

redballoon_2

thanks all to your replies and you have put it into perspective. I have taken on board what A Nice Englishman has said that i am still in debt on the mortgage and will set up an additional dd to tackle this.

In my workings out we will have roughly £1000 "spare money" each month so i will figure out a plan for it as in £300 for savings, £300 for overpaying £100 on treats, new clothes or cheap meals out and perhaps some towards the house or a new car or a holiday.

i am really looking forward to the day where we have got this "spare money" so we can start living again. i am desperatly trying to find a better term to use as i know it is not spare, but it has been worked hard for.

i will continue to read the posts on here esp the DFW board as that has been my inspiration and helped me to look at things differently.

i think i will also take the tip about having something visual in the house to aim for , and stick it on the fridge. i am thinking of getting a piece of paper with the amount we should have my xmas if we dont spend a penny other than our bills, which will be £5714.00 then everytime we take £10 for drinks or anything else thats not essential, we will deduct if off the total and write the new total underneath.

i will post to let you know if the consolidation goes thro (fingers crossed for me please!) and how i get on with the challenge after being a dfw

always_amazed

Do you know what, I'm so glad this post got posted!

This sounds so silly (as I'm nowhere near a Debt Free Date) but I was worrying so much that when I had 'done it' I would just go back to my old ways without the support of the boards.
So it's good to know you don't get kicked out just because you are Debt Free. So I can relax about that now!!!

redballoon_2

perhaps there should be a new thread on how to lead your life without getting in debt again with support of those who have been in debt and got themselves out so there is somewhere for those to go and get support and help if they find themselves thinking of spending and giving in to temptation!

Burlesque_Babe

always_amazed wrote: »

So it's good to know you don't get kicked out just because you are Debt Free. So I can relax about that now!!!

Nope, you're shackled to the furniture and forced to do a 'turn' at the Friday night parties for evermore! :rotfl:

............or is that just me?!

A_Nice_Englishman

redballoon wrote: »

i think i will also take the tip about having something visual in the house to aim for , and stick it on the fridge. i am thinking of getting a piece of paper with the amount we should have my xmas if we dont spend a penny other than our bills, which will be £5714.00 then everytime we take £10 for drinks or anything else thats not essential, we will deduct if off the total and write the new total underneath.

What an excellent idea!