Question about debt and separation

Simmy_P

Hi all,

I think I probably know the answer to this, however people have assured me that there must be something I can do, so I'm seeing if one of you very educated people out there might be able to give me some advice. My situation is definitely not one I would consider urgent, but it's been getting me down recently.

Myself and my partner turned wife had been together for several years, both with debts in our names. Times were tough with two children, but I won't go into that in too much detail. Eventually, after finding full time work, I was gradually chipping away at my debts although slowly.

Anyway, shortly after getting married, my wife has this idea about getting a guarantor loan to help her clear her debts, as she had not long since started a part time job and said it would be a "clean slate" (spoiler alert).
So I begrudgingly asked one of my friends to become a guarantor, which he agreed to and we got a loan of £5000 to pay back at £255 over a period of 30 months. This paid off most / all of her debts (I can't quite remember, this was back in early 2016) and a couple of mine, although not all of mine.

Literally a month after this, I find out she has been cheating on me with someone at work. We split up, the kids go live with her and I see them on weekends. The initial idea was that we would sort out child maintenance ourselves and not involve the CSA and I would pay her a small amount while this loan was in progress, then pay her more when it finished (July 2018 I believe). Well, that ship sank when she immediately got the CSA involved, and suddenly I find myself paying over a third of my monthly wages in child maintenance money and paying off her loans (by proxy).

We are still married, and I'm wondering if she is part-liable for it? Obviously I made a promise to my guarantor that I wouldn't let it bounce, and I won't. I can still afford the repayments, but childcare arrangements have changed slightly which means I will soon have to pay yet more money to her for maintenance, which she was again very quick to raise with CSA. This had made my last year rather uncomfortable, and if I can avoid it, I'd like the next year and a bit to be a little bit easier.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope this all makes sense and it doesn't sound like I'm trying to "get at" my ex, but I (and many others) feel that I've been massively let down and ripped off by someone who I thought I could trust. It's also affecting my personal life, being unable to afford to go out places, take women on dates, etc. I hadn't thought about these deeper aspects of it all before now, but when I look back at it, I think it's really getting me down.

Cheers :beer:

sourcrates

Is it your name on the loan agreement or is your wife on it to ?

January2015

sourcrates wrote: »

Is it your name on the loan agreement or is your wife on it to ?

I think it's his ex-wife's name - but regardless of whose name is on the loan agreement, what comes across to me in that post is that he doesn't want to let his friend (the guarantor) down and so intends to continue paying the loan.

He is in a no-win situation as far as I can see. If the loan agreement is in ex-wife's name she may be liable for the loan, but if she doesn't pay then the guarantor is liable. Creditor won't care whether she pays or not - they will go after the guarantor.

CSA won't reduce the amount he has to pay for child maintenance because she has a loan and he is making payments. They would expect him to pay her and for her to deal with her debts - although she is unlikely to pay and guarantor gets stung.

If the loan agreement is in his name, he continues paying and cannot make her pay. Again, if he doesn't pay the creditor won't care and will chase the guarantor.

As far as I can see it's struggle on until the loan is finished.

Simmy_P

Hi Sourcrates,

It's just me on the agreement.

sourcrates

Simmy_P wrote: »

Hi Sourcrates,

It's just me on the agreement.

In that case it's just you and your guarantor that are liable I'm afraid.

January2015

The name on the loan agreement and the name of the guarantor are the persons legally liable for the debt. The fact you took out this loan to clear your ex-wife's debts is not relevant. The moment you cleared her debts with this loan, you freed her of all liability in the matter.

Simmy_P

Thanks for the advice folks. I thought that was the case, but just wanted to make sure.

OneLife_OneShot

If your name was on the loan and your friend is the guarantor then you have no chance or putting any of it on her.

It is admirable that you are keeping the payments up and not having your friend pick it up which would be easy to do.

runforlife

However if you end up with a financial settlement in the divorce then its a good idea to record all facts about the loan. Keep everything. Agreements, payments etc.
You may be able to offset the amount you have paid off your final financial settlement, so in the end your ex wife will pay for it (indirectly).

Number75

You can lower your CSA (CMS) payments by parenting your children equal time. Why did you decide not to have 50/50 child arrangements? It would be difficult to do that now, because arrangements should be in the best interests of the children and it would now be a disruption.

Just an aside on having money to date: it doesn't have to cost much at all to date, and if someone won't date you because you're not flashing the cash then they have rather helpfully weeded themselves out for you! You don't want to date shallow.