Time to grow up

Better_Life

Hi everyone

I am starting a diary as I feel a wave of gloom and doom whenever I think about my finances. Outwardly I have a good life style but I have accumulated debt through a mixture of irresponsibility and fear of being without money meaning I would pop things on a credit card in case I ended up short at the end of the month. About a month ago I finally realised that continuing to make my standard £50 payment to my credit card was going to take years to pay offand I couldn't believe how stupid I had been.

I now see that I owe this
Cc £2200 @ 0%
Overdraft £250 charging £6 per month

In reality compared to others situations I know this isn't devastating stuff BUT this debt is all mine and my partner knows nothing about it. I'm really ashamed of this and I know he would be so disappointed in me. He is a very generous person and I know that if I told him about it he would make it easier on me by helping me make repayments but this is a big part of my problem that I have relied on him to take control of finances because 1. He earns more than me 2. I was on maternity leave and wasn't contributing as much and I felt that gave less power this is stupid and I know it and 3. I was lazy and immature. Number 3 being the main issue. For this reason I am extremely disappointed in myself and want to not only pay off my debt but take complete control over my money lose my fear of money and eventually build up some savings.

As we have a joint account I pay my share of money in to this and so I can't make any grocery or bill cuts although I will be looking at this as part of my journey. After joint spending I have £500 left.
Phone bill £28
Union fees £13
Exercise class £50 *
Baby class £40 (final payment next month then going to add to credit card payment )
Credit card £100
Savings xmas and holidays £100
Left £169

*Exercise class cost is ridiculous I know and an obvious thing to cut but it is literally the only thing I do outside the house and has helped me with neck and shoulder problems but I am considering letting it go and finding free alternatives.

So there you go my plan at the moment is to cut my spending to the bone. Save a small emergency fund for any unexpected outgoings which would leave me panicking before and throw any extra to my credit card in a payment a day. It's not a great plan I will admit but I want to use this diary to document what I'm doing where I can make changes and how I'm feeling. Right now I'm scared and angry at myself because I could be living well and saving but the first step has been made and I am hopeful that I can turn this around.

If you choose to read what I have written, thank you. If you have any advice, thank you. I have no one in real life I can share this with and I'm hopeful that starting this diary will help me find an outlet so that it is not consuming my every thought like it is at the moment.

Chrystal

Didn't want to read and run, so just to say that I'm sure there will be lots of advice and support for you on here. and that you've already done the hardest thing which is acknowledging your problem.

Even small steps eventually get you where you want to be, so keep your chin up. X

Better_Life

Thank you so much for reading and posting. I have been lurking for a while now and reading other people's stories has been so inspirational and I am addicted to reading the debt free roll of honour. I've picked up so much helpful advice so far. I'm down about this but not out. I really think I can change it.

reality_check

Hey BL, starting a diary is the best thing I have done with spending/debt. I know you say it's not much but at least you've realised now rather than another 20k later.

I wouldn't cut the exercise class yet, it seems important to you and it has helped you.

Can't you say to your partner about cutting food costs? I know you both put into the same pot, but if you try spending less then would be less each month to add in each? Where do you shop right now? Do you think you have savings to be made? Food shopping was a big spend that I found has helped me to make cut backs (minus all the holidays, shoes, clothes etc lol)

Good luck with your diary xxx

Cherryfudge

Hello and welcome BL (Belle? ),
The time after you have a new baby can be difficult financially and socially, not to mention physically, so I'm with Reality_check, I think the exercise class is helping and maybe there are other things you could cut before you need to consider that. However, there's a sports board on the forums somewhere and they may be able to suggest alternatives.
Is your phone on contract? Could that be reduced?
Can you raise some funds by selling anything? With a young baby clothes are outgrown long before they are worn out, or if you have maternity clothes you don't want any more, you could sell some?
I'm assuming from the union fees that you're back at work, but I don't see child care costs... or do you have to keep up your membership?
Keep posting, you'll get lots of help and friendships through this site.

Better_Life

Thanks for posting reality_check. I have been reading through your diary this morning and have enjoyed it! You are right food is overall a huge expense for us. I'm usually pretty good with meal planning and do a big shop at Asda online once a fortnight which is usually within budget BUT then we always fall down with running short of little things then popping to ridiculous local shops and getting really expensive fruit, washing powder etc. By the end of the month it's cost a fortune. We are sitting down today to make a fortnightly meal plan and possibly going to visit a big bulk buy shop on Monday with the view to getting a subscription if it can save us some cash. We are a family of snackers and it's costing a fortune each month!

Better_Life

Cherryfudge thanks for posting. I am back at work now three days a week. Our childcare is currently being paid out of joint saved childcare vouchers from when I was on maternity leave and this should stay "free" until August then we will have to reassess. I have two children so before and after school care for one and two days nursery for the other. One day they are with grandparents. I am thinking about selling. I mostly give away or charity shop baby clothes as I haven't had much luck with selling but I'm going to give it a go if I have any decent things left as they grow out. My kids are pretty rough and tumble so clothes and shoes take a good bashing!

Yesterday was a NSD so I transferred £5 in to my emergency fund pot and I am hoping to spend very little to nothing for the rest of the holiday. Any spare time I get I have been looking at money saving tips or reading people's posts. More and more I see how crazy this situation is. I have managed to get myself in debt through being scared of having no money for a month and putting this and that on credit cards which now means I do have no money at all. This must be some kind of negative karma.

Positive things
I spend very little when I am at work just train fares and 9/10 I take lunch with me.
I have managed to save by putting money in to my sons bank account that I have no online access too. (Too embarrassing to withdraw from when I'm skint or just on a whim!)
Having two young kids and most of my friends being in the same position means my night time social life isn't really rocking at the moment so not much temptation there!

Which leads me to a problem. I have a friends wedding at the start of the month which shouldn't be too expensive but will need to spend on present, drinks, taxi. Possibly something to go over dress. Hopefully my partner will go half on present but I'm still looking a £60-75. This is why I need an emergency or comfort fund! Usually I would use cash then be short at the end of the month and put things on cc but not this time. Trying to save as much as I can from the little I have this month and get my thinking cap on to work out ways to compensate for this.

Thanks for reading. It might not be making much sense to anyone but it's definitely making me feel more in control and it's so great when anyone posts some support.

Better_Life

Hello Diary

Managed to get another NSD under my belt today. Wonder how many I can do before pay day? Had a great day here painting Easter eggs, having a hunt and generally eating! Went to visit a relative who is in a nursing home then late lunch with the in laws.

Good mse things I have done today
Start a very basic running total of all accounts in my little diary. To be updated daily. I've never looked at my bank accounts so much!
Added £5 to emergency/ comfort fund.
Started to think about extra outgoings that would usually throw me. I can now start saving for them. These will be
July-Summer holiday clothes for me and kids. Topping up for me and basic and cheap for them as most things get ruined by sun cream! £100 budget
June-Family members birthday present £30
May-Wedding I mentioned before £75

Don't know how I'm going to save it (yet) but at least it is in my mind when I get paid and I can push towards saving for it.
I'm also thinking about moving my bank account to first direct to take advantage of £100 introductory fee and the £6 per month saving I would make on o/d fees. Only things holding me back are I'm not sure of the full t&c's yet e.g paying in money then being overdrawn as usual would I have to pay the £10 fee. Second reason is probably stupid but I have a bit of an emotional connection to the account as it was opened for me age 7 by a relative and would feel a bit sad closing it. That's really ridiculous I know but can't shake that just yet!

Anyway that's it for today. This weeks I plan on checking my credit report on mse.
Getting online access to my mobile phone account so I can change bill payment to the start of the month rather than the end.
Closing a credit card I have with a zero balance. They are evil and I want them out of my life!