Need Help! Quit my job now don't know what I need to do next

ryan22

[FONT=&quot]Hi, my name is Ryan and I need a bit of advice please!
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[FONT=&quot]First ever post! Sorry its long [/FONT]:sad:
Firstly where I work is not professional at all, so its not like a normal place of work. It's run poorly and there is only 4 workers, 5 including the owner who occasionally works on the shopfloor also.

[FONT=&quot]I am a fabricator/welder/sheet metal worker for a small local business and I have worked there since leaving school at 16 years old. I am now 27. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I need some help and advice as I don’t know what to do next after I managed to pluck up the courage to finally quit my job On Thursday April 6th 2017. Its now 12th April and I have not been back since or contacted my employer. But also my employer has not contacted me either.
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[FONT=&quot]So I am not sure on what to do and I am running out of time because the more days that pass, the harder it will be to sort out. Do I leave it as it is and move on? Should I put it in writing with a resignation letter? I've been told i can do a resignation letter stating i resign and a doctor's note will cover my notice period as i feel its become impossible to go back there?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] I don’t know what I would lose money wise in any case.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]My work situation is quite complicated. But basically it has ruined me and my life completely. It has affected my family a lot also. Due to issues like bullying, intimidation, physical/mental/sexual harassment and abuse, poor training, lack of help and support, lack of health and safety and poor/unhygienic working conditions. There are many other issues also and after years of all these issues within the workplace it has caused me to develop severe depression, anxiety and stress and it has completely shattered my confidence to Zero. Not to mention the effect it's had on my life and social life outside of work, which is non-existent [/FONT][FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot] causing me to be very withdrawn[/FONT]. All of which lead to a suicide attempt 6years ago, after this I had to have a year off work. I have also had to be referred on multiple occasions for counselling sessions on and off for years which has not helped really and I have been on antidepressants for 7+ years.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]So bare in mind i was a shy 16yr old lad when i started as an apprentice and soon found out there were 2 bullies. One did the physical stuff eg. Stabbing and scratching me with sharp tools, smacking me over the head as hard as he could out of the blue, grabbing my bum and chest, punching me in the arms, ribs and back, pushing, pinching, twisting my ears very hard, forcing my head towards his crotch, and more. And the other did alot more mental stuff ie. intimidation, aggression, name calling, constantly watching me and putting pressure on me, calling me useless and worse stuff.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] After one of the main bullies left a few years ago via voluntary redundancy I have struggled on ever since as the damage was already done and I have always been too worried and scared to leave, due to a complete lack of self worth and confidence. And I don’t believe I am good enough to move on to another workplace due to very poor training.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]My boss knows about all of the issues and grievances I have had at work as I have been honest with him in how it has affected me. I did complain about it when it was at its worst but he has never really done anything to help or stop any of the problems. He has just allowed it to roll on and on.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I quit the job because after a tough week, my boss had a go at me for the 4th time in a week. (Which has never happened before?) During the argument he also made a comment about my colleagues saying things about me behind my back. This was a complete shock as I am friends with them and it made me very paranoid and I thought to myself “I can’t carry on with this anymore” it just made it impossible for me to carry on working there. It just pushed me over the edge because a couple of my colleagues are the only thing that has helped me get through the days over the years. So I worked the last couple hours of the day and I told my boss that I quit. I tried to explain why but it all became too emotional for me so I just went home. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I have been to the local Citizens advice bureau and they just told me to call ACAS and a solicitor for advice. But ACAS didn’t really help. I have been told a few different things for example:[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]It’s been too long to do anything. [/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]I should put it in writing anyway so I can get a reference. [/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]I should put it in writing and regarding working 2 or 4 weeks’ notice, that I should get a doctor’s note for stress and anxiety (which I have constantly) to cover that notice period as it’s become impossible for me to be able to return.[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]To look into taking them to a tribunal.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]I know I should have done something about this situation years ago but as a shy, quiet man with zero self confidence I don’t like to get anyone in trouble and cause a fuss over things. But in a way I do think someone should be held accountable. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I am angry, as this really has ruined my life and I do believe I should be entitled to something as I have been loyal and served over 10 years under these conditions with nothing in return! Not even an apology! I have been forced to have a lot of time off work sick due to depression, stress and anxiety, which has lost me a lot of pay and bonuses over the years. Also the time it’s going to take for me to finally get better and how long I will be out of work for. My Doctors have said they will help and support me in any way possible with whatever route I decide to take. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I also don’t know what sort of evidence is needed if it was to go to a tribunal? [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I am not sure what this will do for me?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] What the repercussions would be? [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And is it even worth the hassle?[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]wow! sorry its long. Just so !!!!ed off with it all, went on a bit of a rampage.
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[FONT=&quot]If you could help or advise me on anything, or point me in the right direction regarding other services that could help, it would be greatly appreciated as I have never had to go through this process before because it’s the only job I’ve ever had.[/FONT]
Thankyou
[FONT=&quot]Ryan
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sangie595

Well I think it took a lot of courage to quit after so long. You aren't out of the woods yet, but got are on the way. Have you signed on for benefits yet? If not you need to do that as soon as possible, and at this point in time I would strongly advise that you get a sick note from the doctor immediately and then sign on. The reason being that if toy do it that way you go on to sickness benefits rather than JSA and avoid ending up in a sanction for resigning. I think. I'm not great on benefits - on this aspect you would be better off posting on the benefits board.

Now on the history. I'm going to call it history, because I think it is best you think of it that way. Don't even think about an employment tribunal. You need an awful lot of evidence - and for allegations of this nature, you need an awful lot more than your word for it. Plus evidence of having raised formal grievances. And since you resigned, you would need evidence of a "repudiatory breach" by the employer, and a telling off, even for the fourth time in a week, isn't going to cut it. Plus, to be honest, given what you have described as your mental state, even if you had that evidence, you simply won't survive one. They take a very long time, they require a lot of energy, and the employer and their lawyers will be brutal (and legally so). So it would be best to draw a line under the history and make it such. Throw it away. It isn't worth dwelling on. Concentrate on this being the beginning of a new chapter.

As far as the employer goes now, I just want a little bit of time to think about whether there's any form of strategy I can think of to prise even a bit of money out of them. It'll probably involve some bluffing - do you think you are up to that? It'll be in writing, if that helps? Also, do you have any money or holidays owed by the employer?

I think it would also help us all if you could tell us what support you have for yourself. You mention family - are you married, with children, girlfriend, parents etc? Who is around to help you out when you need it?

So we can revisit these things a bit later, ok?

For the future, obviously getting some money coming in is the most important thing. You can't live on thin air! So the benefits question is the first priority. After that, you have a bit of breathing space to think about future employment and how you tackle that. Have you ever given that any thought? I mean, having been in this situation for so long, you must have thought about getting out or doing something different - what did you think about and why didn't you do it? Have you considered going back to education? Or retraining? If we know a bit more about these things, we can find better ideas for you. But advising someone when we don't know them needs a bit more information about them.

Finally, just for now, I want you to make yourself a promise. The next time you get a job, the first thing that you are going to do is join a union. Whether the employer likes it or not. You don't tell an employer you are in the union, you just join one. Because if anyone could have helped you - even if it was only to tell you to get out of the job- it would be a union. It gives you people to advise you about what toy need to do about problems at work; and it gives you representation so you don't have to fight your battles on your own. It might seem like the wrong time to be thinking about this now - but you'll be wishing you'd had someone you could turn to, which is why you are here, and you need to remember that so that when you do return to work, it doesn't become the thing you meant to do but never got around to.

sacha28

And that ^^^ is why I have huge respect for Sangie. What a helpful, encouraging and lovely post.

I have no words of wisdom but I honestly hope you find yourself in a much better (and happier) place in the near future.

jobbingmusician

I second that. Very helpful and comprehensive reply from Sangie. DO you, in fact, have evidence of any past grievances? In writing, I mean? Because I suspect that her advice might alter a little if you do. I think from your initial post that you don't have anything in writing, but thought it was worth checking.

sangie595

jobbingmusician wrote: »

I second that. Very helpful and comprehensive reply from Sangie. DO you, in fact, have evidence of any past grievances? In writing, I mean? Because I suspect that her advice might alter a little if you do. I think from your initial post that you don't have anything in writing, but thought it was worth checking.

Unfortunately, not unless it is within the last three months. But I am assuming from the OP that he hasn't put anything in writing.

sangie595

Sacha and JobbingM - Thank you guys. As I was typing it I did have in mind that any minute now someone will be along to say that I'm on the employers side! But unfortunately, much as I would love this employer to go down, the cost to the OP will be too high, even with evidence. You look after yourself first, and raking over this awful experience for months and possibly years to come, and facing cross examination by lawyers... not a place to go. Sometimes walking away is the bravest and most logical thing to do.

Art_Deco

I dont have any advise but well done for plucking up the courage to leave, what a horrible firm to work for, hope things work out for you .

bugslet

sangie595 wrote: »

Sacha and JobbingM - Thank you guys. As I was typing it I did have in mind that any minute now someone will be along to say that I'm on the employers side! .

Ditto good post sangie.

If anyone says that they are bonkers. I've had one grievance and it was a member of staff bullying another, far less that the example above, but still bullying.

It can be difficult as an employer to deal with, but that's no reason to not deal with it. (Though next time I think I'd just close the firm rather than go through it all again).

sangie595

bugslet wrote: »

Ditto good post sangie.

If anyone says that they are bonkers. I've had one grievance and it was a member of staff bullying another, far less that the example above, but still bullying.

It can be difficult as an employer to deal with, but that's no reason to not deal with it. (Though next time I think I'd just close the firm rather than go through it all again).

Oh I can certainly get that! Being a trade union rep doesn't mean that one is oblivious to the fact that it isn't just some employers that are a nightmare - employees can fall into that category too, and dealing with them can be difficult for employers to do. Especially for the smart employees who are able to cover themselves whilst also being a nightmare! Dealing with "it", whatever it is, is not always as easy at it sounds. Yes, with some employers it's a war. But with many, it's an uneasy truce, because they actually don't want a lot more than we do, but getting there isn't something that is easy to do.

Although in this particular case, giving the employer a real slapping would be hard to resist!

[Deleted User]

My first thought is why on earth did you stay so long.

sangie595

BBH123 wrote: »

My first thought is why on earth did you stay so long.

For exactly the same reason that many people stay in abusive relationships. It's easy to rationalise that this is normal or your own fault. This was the OPs first job out of school and as apprenticeship. They knew nothing about the world of work, and nothing at all about their rights. It starts off with "a bit of hazing" at the expense of the new lad. He laughs it off. Or tries to. Maybe a relative says that there's always a bit of a laugh in work and not to bother about it. Just ignore it. They'll get fed up. But they don't, they step up and step up. And suddenly is out of control, and nobody knows how to stop. Not the victim, not the perpetrators either. And then it becomes the norm, and just continues, and you think you must have done something to deserve it.

That is why, regardless of the type of workplace, there needs to be zero tolerance of certain behaviours. There's no such thing as "funny" racism, sexism or any other form of such bullying or abuse. "The victim found it funny" is not an excuse - even if that is true, which it often isn't. Making a victim part of their own victimisation is another form of bullying. Any form of "horseplay " should be kept out of the workplace. But when you say this, there's an outcry about how you have no sense of humour, and it's "only" a joke, etc., Etc. But this is where that attitude ends up. You don't have to be miserable in a workplace, and there's room for a laugh in any job - but NEVER at the expense of another person. Because the sad thing is not just what this does to the victim, but the fact that, having had to defend people who have been the perpetrators, most of them are not bad people and are genuinely mystified as to what they have done wrong, and how it got to this point.