Investigation for misconduct

Corpus_Allumni

Hello,

Today I received a letter through the post from my employer telling me to attend a hearing about an incident of misconduct involving another colleague.

The incident happened on Monday, April 3rd. We were closing down, and because I had to leave half an hour earlier, permission for this was granted. I asked another senior colleague, to assist with a trainee for the final half an hour because she had never done the close down before.

Instead of saying she would help the trainee. She said it was all my responsibility and she would not help and told me that if anything went wrong, it would be my responsibility. I explained to her, that it is a principle of the company to work together and help each other and being as she is the most senior member of staff after me. It is also her responsibility to assist with training new members of staff.

She replied by saying. You are not a manager so I don't take orders from you. I explained that I have to leave early this evening because my grandad is having a lot of siezures lately and the last one he had was during the night and he was found walking the streets at 2am so someone has to stay with him at all times at the moment and that our manager had agreed and put it on the rota that I was finishing early. She replied by saying that is my problem not hers. I then said to her, There is no need to be a txat and walked off.

She has since reported me for calling her a txat. That is all I have done wrong. I know at the hearing I have a chance to explain my version of events but the stress at the thought of damaging my career is worrying me.

There is no denying I am guilty. I did call her a txat and I accept responsibility for that but it isn't as if I just called her it to be nasty.

My work record is excellent and I have a good reputation with my managers which has put me at the forefront for promotion but now with this. It will severely damage my reputation and possibly cost me my job. I do think it is unlikely that I will, lose my job as this is my first offence. What I don't know is what the consequences of this will be and if anyone can shed some light on how this will affect me. I will grately appreciate it.

marliepanda

Nobody knows.

Calling someone names is stupid. It is nasty. There is no excuse for it. P

If you were her manager (or senior to her) and were able to tell her to do close down, then you should have been professional and told her to do it.

If you are not senior enough to tell her her job role, then the manager who authorised your early finish should have. It really depends on whether you can tel her what her responsibilities are or not.

Anyway. No one here can tell you the outcome. You were unprofessional. They may say it's a one off and don't do it again, end of. They may consider you unsuitable to be a manager if asking another colleague to do a job and getting push back results in you calling them nasty names.

sangie595

I'm afraid that I would like to disagree, but I can't. To be honest, if you knew that you had this trainee, you should have asked your manager what to do about this responsibility when you asked for the time off. Since you didn't you shouldn't have pushed this as far as you did, and it was a misjudgement. I very much doubt that you got yourself any favours by lecturing her on company ethos either! You may have been right about them, but that sort of thing often annoys people.

I suggest that you best bet is an apology, and say that you were acting out of character and that you will personally apologise to her. Then you will have to eat humble pie and do it.

And don't say you didn't say it to be nasty. Of course you did. You may think you had a cause to be driven to it, but you said it to be nasty because you were angry she didn't do as you asked. That's something you need to work on, because you are going to find that sort of thing happens a lot in your working life, nd you can't lose your temper every time you don't get what you want.

Mr.Generous

I once made a similar mistake when someone at work told me my car had been broken into for a joke, It had previously been broken into and the damage cost me about 2 weeks wages. I reacted by calling the person an unpleasant name. I admitted the offence but claimed they had misheard me, and that I called them a twit. I was adamant I never used another similar word. There were no witnesses and the employer listened to both sides. I guess they realised I probably had sworn, but felt maybe the joke about my car was equally in bad taste. no action was taken, although I did have to apologise for saying twit. Most heartfelt it was too, my apology.

sangie595

Mr.Generous wrote: »

I once made a similar mistake when someone at work told me my car had been broken into for a joke, It had previously been broken into and the damage cost me about 2 weeks wages. I reacted by calling the person an unpleasant name. I admitted the offence but claimed they had misheard me, and that I called them a twit. I was adamant I never used another similar word. There were no witnesses and the employer listened to both sides. I guess they realised I probably had sworn, but felt maybe the joke about my car was equally in bad taste. no action was taken, although I did have to apologise for saying twit. Most heartfelt it was too, my apology.

There is a difference. This other person didn't do anything except say no - something they were entitled to do. And not everyone can carry off a lie as well. The OP doesn't want their managers to then see through the lie and chalk them down as being a liar - that will effectively finish their progression in this company. If they wish to continue to progress, as they say, then they need to use this as an opportunity to show that they made a stupid mistake, they have learned from it, and they would know how to better handle things in the future. And if the bitter taste of apologising to the person reminds them not to do it again it will be a lesson well learned. We all have moments when we would like to say something we shouldn't. Rising above them is what hopefully marks out the good managers from the bad - and if the OP wants to be a good manager any time soon it won't be the last time someone annoys them!

[Deleted User]

Hi,

what's so bad about tw*t?

1. 1.
   a woman's genitals.
2. 2.
   a person regarded as stupid or obnoxious.

I had an English teacher at High School who delighted in calling us

nincompoop,

1. a foolish or stupid person.

Maybe you could just use nincompoop, seems less offensive.

IAmWales

[Deleted User] wrote:

Hi,

what's so bad about tw*t?

1. 1.
   a woman's genitals.
2. 2.
   a person regarded as stupid or obnoxious.

I had an English teacher at High School who delighted in calling us

nincompoop,

1. a foolish or stupid person.

Maybe you could just use nincompoop, seems less offensive.

Why have you edited the definition? You have omitted the first line, "vulgar slang".

It is a vile thing to say. Anyone that finds it acceptable has extremely low standards.

[Deleted User]

Hi,

IAmWales wrote: »

Why have you edited the definition? You have omitted the first line, "vulgar slang".

It is a vile thing to say. Anyone that finds it acceptable has extremely low standards.

it was only to make things more concise.

I don't like the words wan*er or bast*rd, the uncouth though use them with freedom.

TBagpuss

OK. I think your colleague was rude and unhelpful, but your mistake was in trying to argue with them, rather than, at that point, speaking to your manager to say "I'm about to leave, if you remember you / Boss authorised that. Trainee has never closed before, I have let [colleague] know I am leaving early and asked her to supervise [trainee] but she has refused, so Trainee may need your help"

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I think in the meeting all you can do is explain the background, say that you accept that you should not have called her a name, that you are willing to apologise directly to her, and that you have considered what happened and were there to be a similar issue in future you would respond differently, and in particular, would speak to a manager rather than seeking to persuade a co-worker to help out, once they had refused.

I would strongly recommend that you *start* with the apology and acknowledgment that you were wrong, before you try to explain the background.

agrinnall

[Deleted User] wrote:

I don't like the words wan*er or bast*rd, the uncouth though use them with freedom.

But in many workplaces if those words were used against someone then the person saying it could well be up on a misconduct charge, as the OP is. It's unlikely that would happen had 'nincompoop' been used.

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

Mr.Generous wrote: »

I once made a similar mistake when someone at work told me my car had been broken into for a joke, It had previously been broken into and the damage cost me about 2 weeks wages. I reacted by calling the person an unpleasant name. I admitted the offence but claimed they had misheard me, and that I called them a twit. I was adamant I never used another similar word. There were no witnesses and the employer listened to both sides. I guess they realised I probably had sworn, but felt maybe the joke about my car was equally in bad taste. no action was taken, although I did have to apologise for saying twit. Most heartfelt it was too, my apology.

To me that's entirely different, as has been said. By playing a joke on you (if you can dignify it with that description) they have moved the interaction beyond the bounds of the workplace. Your reaction is very mild and completely expected in a non-workplace interaction between friends. If they want to keep things professional, they shouldn't try and play stupid jokes.

If they reported you for this, frankly, they should be ashamed of themselves.