Life on hold because of bankruptcy

Birdy81

Hi! In 2012 I was declared bankrupt, i live in scotland so i believe it is called sequestration. I was at the time in a pretty abusive relationship which i had been in since 2003. My ex partner has (as i have since worked out) Narcassistic personality disorder and was very controlling, verbally and mentally abusive towards me. He was terrible with money, took out payday loans all over the place, in his and my name. Took car loans that he didnt pay, phone contracts and generally spent every penny on rubbish and left me with barely anything to keep bills up to date. Eventually, by 2012 we were being chased by so many debtors it was out of control. He decided the only thing to do, to avoid having to pay any of it back, would be to quit his job, go through this sequestration on low income low asset (to ensure he didnt have to pay a penny), and told me i had to do it too. So by the end of 2012, we were bankrupt. At the time i had no idea the mistake I was making. If he hadn't taken every bit of my self worth and confidence, I would have left him well before it got to that stage and i would have handled and paid off all of the debts in my name. I left him just over 2 years ago, after finally getting the courage to take that step. Between the sequestration ending and me leaving him, i have since discovered that he took out a phone contract in my name, and ran up a council tax bill of over £3000 in both our names ( which now i am the only one paying back as he is unemployed). Ive sorted all of these out and i have no unresolved accounts on my credit file finally, but i am struggling with that bankruptcy on there. I have a small credit card (£200) which i use every month and pay off in full. I have a phone contract for myself and my son both of whick i keep upto date, but i still cant get credit....anywhere. I want to be at the stage in 2 years where i can apply for a mortgage but I don't see how I'll ever get there when I cant even get a second small credit card! I did the 'soft search' thing on this website.....it showed pre-approved for a card.....so i thought great....another one to use as credit builder. And even that got declined. This is really stressing me out now. Anyone have any advice on how i can improve my report? Will i ever get out of this hole?

[Deleted User]

You will. But you need time.

Keep using your card and clearing in full, and you'll get there.

Birdy81

Thanks, just feels like my ex still has control over my life because of the situation he put me in for years, i just want to be able to progress in life!

mwarby

Mortgages and credit cards are scorer differently, if a mortgage is your goal is focus on saving a deposit, 1 Vs 2 credit builder cards will have pretty much zero impact

TheGardener

I'm sorry to hear you have had such a rough ride...but really pleased to hear that you have taken back control of your life and finances and shown the kind of strength many will never have to muster or understand. Well Done! :T

I am wary of commenting on Scottish BR and I'm not sure if its the same but in England, the BR would stay in your credit file for 6 years from the date of the BR order. Until then, all you can do is improve your credit worthiness by doing what you are already doing - managing what credit you have well and demonstrating exemplary financial management.

mwarby is right - what you need is a healthy deposit if mortgage is the goal so save, save, save and to sit tight until the 6 years are up. Then seek help from an independent mortgage broker who will find the best deal.

Your ex can only cast a shadow over you if you let him - BR is not the end of the world and seems to have been one of the catalysts for the end of the relationship - in that respect, it almost did you a favour. Use your focus on the future and a mortgage to look ahead and not look back with regret.