First Step

crystaltips52

RBS Credit Card £4241
Barclaycard £3000
RBS Loan (inc interest) 24584
Overdraft 1500
Evans £60

Total: £33,376

I contacted CCCS yesterday. I have a reference number and a phone interview with them on Monday.

The lady told me to contact my creditors so I phoned Barclaycard to ask the to put account on hold. I was really upset and told the guy how sorry I was. He was fine and told me not to worry. Today I have to phone the others. I'm dreading contacting my bank. I've been with them for 18 years and I feel like some sort of traitor.

I feel sick with anxiety and a voice in my head keeps telling me there has to be a better way. I shouldn't renege on my debts, I took them on I should pay them off blah de blah. Another voice is suggesting that as my cards and overdraft are not maxed out I should take the money and run!

CCCS said I mustn't get into more debt now I've contacted them so that's a relief. I won't take the maxing out route.

After reading up about debt some weeks ago, I opened another bank account and had my recent earnings paid into it. It is with Nationwide and I have an £250 overdraft limit. I have to go to them today and get the account downgraded.

On Monday my temporary job finished and the agency doesn't have anything else at present. I phoned and signed on. I have my interview with them on Friday morning. I'm sick of temporary work as this job was supposed to last until second week of October and then last Friday they told me Monday would be my last day.

The guy I registered unemployed with on the phone was so nice. I was crying and getting upset about being unemployed (again!) and he told me that he had been out of work for ages before getting his current job and suggested that I stay unemployed until I get something permanent. I hate being out of work but the uncertainty of on/off employment is so stressful.

I haven't slept well and I keep going over and over in my mind the past couple of years and how could I have avoided it and what could I have done different. I have to work with what is and not with what I would like it to be.

I'm feeling sorry for myself and I know that this not the way forward but I am finding it difficult to feel positive or even normal. Today I'm going to sort out all my paperwork. Bank statement, wages slips and anything else I can think of. I need to keep busy. My library books are one day overdue and I will have to pay the fines. It will be a £1 or something like that but I'm angry at myself for allowing this to happen. All this debt and mad about £1. My life feels totally out of control at the moment and I can really understand how people walk out of their houses and disappear!

Should I post how all this came about? I notice other people do.

I'm glad you're all here.
Crystal

fermi

So many of us here will have had that feeling of hopelessness. It's perfectly natural.

The good thing is that you are taking positive steps to sort things out, even if at the time they feel like small ones. You are starting to get to grips with things, and not just completely burying you head in the sand.

If you want to write about how things happened then feel free, but remember this is a public board. At times we use it for urgent advice, but else when just as a sounding board to vent stuff. As far as I'm concerned both are a perfectly valid use (whatever helps basically ).

CCCS are excellent and they should be able to give you some great advice on your options. Whatever their advice feel free to post here, or on the more general debt advice board Debt-Free Wannabe.

Good luck, and keep asking if there is any specific questions/support that you have/need.

tigerfeet2006

Hi Crystal, what you are feeling is what all of us have felt to varying degrees at one time or another.

Don't worry about the bank, it is not the same organisation with which you took your account out which 18 years ago. Then you had a face you could talk to, who could give you sound advice on your finances based on your indidual needs. Now you are just a number in a computer to them, they don't care whether you have been with them 18 years or 18 days.

Good luck with the interview on Monday. CCCS are really helpful and will give you good advice. We are all here if you need someone to scream at or a shoulder to cry on albeit in a cyber way.

scaredwitless32

Hi Crystaltips,

Just wanted to welcome you to the board:D
Most of us know exactly how you are feeling just know, but just by posting here and talking about your situation will make you feel so much better, believe me I know . Even after your interveiw with cccs you will feel that much more better, as its a positive step you have taken, to sort out your debts.
As said before, come here use this board for as much information and support as you need. Its a great place, and by sharing each others experiences not only do we learn from them, we also loose a bit of the fear 'of the unknown', if you get my drift!? lol

Goodluck

crystaltips52

I thought that when I told people I couldn't pay my debts they would get horrible and nasty with me but the reality is that they couldn't have been kinder. I phoned RBS credit card and my bank yesterday. The RBS guy was very reassuring and told me that they come across this all the time and the main thing was for me not to worry. The lady at my bank was a bit taken aback at first. I came straight to the point and aid I'm in trouble and I can't pay and I've been to CCCS etc. She took a note of it all and then I need to contact them again after the interview on Monday.

I have been doing practical things and I logged all my earnings since March 2005, sorted out my bank statements and card statements etc and read through the BR papers. Haven't started filling them in yet until the results of the interview Monday.

I am so glad I found this site. It definitely gave me courage to do something and not just lie on my bed worrying!

Take care
Crystal

Toad

Hi Crystal,
I'm sorry to hear all this but I also see that you are still focussed and in control. It is all too easy to just stop opening your mail and hide, hoping it will all go away. But, I see you're not one of those people, you're taking the bull by the horns and with that you earn great respect and organisations are more willing to help you. There will always be the one 'target hunter' who gets a bit stroppy when you say you can't pay, but take that in your stride and you'll come out on top!

The main thing I thought of when going BR, or considering to go BR, is that this was and end and a beginning. And end to the debts that had been haunting me, and end to the spiral of further expense and deeper despair.
Then the beginning of a new life, a new happiness and in some ways, a financial freedom. I might not be able to get cheap credit for a few years, but, now I'm not trying to cover £650/month in debt, I don't need credit (well, I could do with a reliable car for my new job, but that's a different matter).

Welcome to the board, you will find many friendly faces here who speak from experience. I am sure all will go well for you and you will find that once this is off your back, your outlook becomes so much brighter and you'll find this starts to migrate to other parts of your life as it has for me.

all the best

Tony

debt_doctor

I feel sick with anxiety and a voice in my head keeps telling me there has to be a better way. I shouldn't renege on my debts, I took them on I should pay them off blah de blah. Another voice is suggesting that as my cards and overdraft are not maxed out I should take the money and run!

Hi, dont take the money and run, but take the money for your BR fee's if you feel BR is a good option for you. ( oo sorry OR, you didn t hear that did you ! )

We are all waiting to help.

Best wishes

DD

Toad

I was also told that there's nothing wrong with taking essential living expenses off the cards, i.e. food shopping, which I did in order to save cash for the OR fee. The OR was OK with this.