Wedding Invites & Gifts, the quagmire

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
33 replies 15.5K views
Zola.Zola. Forumite
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edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
Hello folks

I am in the process of making up wedding invites. One thing that is a bit awkward is what to put for gifts.

The good lady and I have a house already that's reasonably well kitted out, don't need much at all really. Money is always welcome (the day is going to cost a fortune!).

However, I want to keep the invite classy, and I dont want to directly suggest attendees gives us money as a gift. I know any weddings I go to I generally just give cash as its easy.

I was thinking of not mentioning anything about gifts on the invite. Is this stupid?
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  • DomRavioliDomRavioli
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    I'd mention that if the invitee wants to give something, then cash would be appreciated - perhaps towards a honeymoon? There are a lot of examples of how to do it best on google images.

    And if you leave it off be warned you will get seven toasters.
  • Torry_QuineTorry_Quine Forumite
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    I think nothing should be mentioned about gifts. If someone asks then you can suggest that money would be welcome. You should accept any gifts graciously, evev duplicates
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  • Teapot55Teapot55 Forumite
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    We went to a wedding last year & they had a 'postbox' for cards. We put a cheque in with our card. (Hope someone was watching it discreetly - don't remember getting a thank you for our 'gift' - note to self - go & check bank statement!)

    would've . . . could've . . . should've . . .


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  • edited 22 February 2017 at 8:23PM
    svainsvain Forumite
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    edited 22 February 2017 at 8:23PM
    Im all for making gift list etc when young and moving into first home together, however asking for gifts when already "kitted out" is poor form. Asking for money is even worse and definitely lacks "class"!! .... Its no different to charging an entrance fee to your wedding!! ....

    Send the invites with no preference would be my advice
  • PollycatPollycat Forumite
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    Zola. wrote: »
    Hello folks

    I am in the process of making up wedding invites. One thing that is a bit awkward is what to put for gifts.

    The good lady and I have a house already that's reasonably well kitted out, don't need much at all really. Money is always welcome (the day is going to cost a fortune!).

    However, I want to keep the invite classy, and I dont want to directly suggest attendees gives us money as a gift. I know any weddings I go to I generally just give cash as its easy.

    I was thinking of not mentioning anything about gifts on the invite. Is this stupid?
    It's your choice that the day will cost a fortune.
    I don't think it's the remit of guests to help fund an expensive wedding.

    I really would not mention gifts on the invitation.
    It would - at least to me - sound tacky and grasping.
    svain wrote: »
    Im all for making gift list etc when young and moving into first home together, however asking for gifts when already "kitted out" is poor form. Asking for money is even worse and definitely lacks "class"!! .... Its no different to charging an entrance fee to your wedding!! ....

    Send the invites with no preference would be my advice

    ^^^^ Pretty much my opinion too.
  • Zola.Zola. Forumite
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    Yeah, as I said I wouldn't want to ask for money. I'll just leave it out
    "Save like a pessimist, invest like an optimist" 
    "The purpose of the margin of safety is to render the forecast unnecessary" 
    "The borrower is slave to the lender."
    "Money is not to buy stuff. Money is to buy freedom."
    "Every bit of savings is like taking a point in the future that would have been owned by someone else and giving it back to yourself"
    "Energy flows where attention goes"
  • rach_krach_k Forumite
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    I would leave it out, but perhaps you could mention to a couple of people (the natural organisers - mums maybe?) that you don't want to be cheeky but if anybody asks them what you might like, you would really appreciate a small contribution towards honeymoon spending money.
  • GlasweJenGlasweJen Forumite
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    We are in your position and have family coming from outwith the UK. We have a small wedding list at John Lewis and most people have either bought from the list or told our mums that they are gifting us money (some are giving Dollars).

    I think the etiquette is to let people ask your parents and have your parents say that you don't need boxed gifts but would appreciate vouchers or money.
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  • SewsosewSewsosew Forumite
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    This is silly but I'll tell the story anyway. A friend got a wedding invitation which said that donations towards the honeymoon would be appreciated so he gave a tent and two sleeping bags.
    When dancing with dragons, don't let your partner lead.
  • 7roland87roland8 Forumite
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    svain wrote: »
    Im all for making gift list etc when young and moving into first home together, however asking for gifts when already "kitted out" is poor form. Asking for money is even worse and definitely lacks "class"!! .... Its no different to charging an entrance fee to your wedding!! ....

    Send the invites with no preference would be my advice

    Partly agree - how tacky are those poems asking for money for a honeymoon - as sais somewhere else its your choice to spend a fortune.


    As you don't need stuff personally I's say 'no gifts required', then just have a box for cards and accept money if its given.
    Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day. -- Sally Koch
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