£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Savertobe

I think if you ring up you should be able to get the money just explain the error it is easily done. This might really set you on the wrong path going forward so it would be better to pull back.

Busy_Mee1

That is a real shame on the planning news and a real blow
I don't think all is lost though so a few thoughts and suggestions for options from me:

1. You accept that your boys can share a room. This is perfectly acceptable and fairly normal. Lots of same sex siblings share rooms and it actually helps them to learn to share space and be considerate. Therefore your extension is big enough and there is no need for complicated sleeping arrangements for you and OH, which I think most other people would find unacceptable. You could add a cabin/summerhouse in the garden for extra teen space later on.

2. You open your mind to moving. Actually get an estate agent round to value your house and start seriously looking. You can and will love another house.

3. A mixture of the two. You do the extension now with a view to moving in maybe 5 years time. This means that you will need to keep costs down and don't spend more on fixtures and fittings than the house will be worth. You design the house with the general market in mind because it is not your forever house and you will be selling it on.

I am sure others will also add into the mix and your conversation with the builder may help to clarify your thoughts.

Starmummy

Busy Mee has some fabulous points.

When I moved to the town I live in now I was a single parent and I envisaged I would stay in this town pretty much for ever (or at least until Star Child was out of education).
Fast forward four years and we have moved across town and in with Mr Star.

Different choices lead to even more different choices and the Georgian end of terrace that we love and spent good money on getting planning permission to extend is now getting "done up to sell" and we plan on moving 200 miles away in the next two years.

I shared with my sister growing up and it has given us such a bond. I barely know anyone with a same sex sibling that didn't share so I wouldn't worry too much about giving them a big room each.
Our house has two good doubles and a single...Star Child gets the single. She is a child she gets what she is given.

My main point is life throws you opportunities don't bury yourself in so deep with this house that you are unable to make the most of those opportunities.

Take care

SM

ellen_vannin

The last two posters have made good points.

I really would give yourself time to think this through clearly . To do that you need to have a look around again at the current housing market in your area.

As other posters , we shared bedrooms at home until late teens. No probs with same sex siblings sharing.

Hope it works out for you.

The Barclaycard could be a bonus, stops you from spending so much.
Look at the 0% switching options soon on credit cards, interest is totally wasted money!

Honeysucklelou2

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

Week 78: Day 4



As well as that little 5am drama, we've got a total disaster/huge cloud with tiny silver lining situation with the extension. The planners have completely turned their noses up at our extension plans. They are fine with the single storey extension but want us to dramatically reduce the size of the dormer, which means only three small-medium sized bedrooms (two small doubles and a single) plus a tiny 2sqm study. It was all wailing and gnashing of teeth yesterday when we first found out, but after about 12 hours of 'we just need to sell and move and stretch ourselves more' DH and I were talking around it and have come back to the discussion we have had before that we actually don't use our bedroom at all really - we don't go in there at all between getting dressed in the morning and going to bed at night, so it's literally just a space to hold a bed and clothes - we never read on our bed or watch TV up there or anything.

The thought is that we could do the smaller extension, two of the children could share and whenever that becomes a problem (in a couple of years maybe) we could get a murphy bed (one that flips down from the wall) in the sitting room, with built in storage around it. The kids would then get a room each, and we'd have the storage in the sitting room plus the tiny study room as our space. In a few years time we could also look at putting a pod in the garden to give them a teenage hangout space if we felt they needed a 'living room' after we've gone to bed - we would have a reasonable sized kitchen diner for them to be in though, and a half decent bedroom each, so it wouldn't be a total punishment for them.

The more traditional design of the dormer would also mean that if the house just didn't work, size wise, it would be an easier prospect to sell. And of course (silver lining) the significantly reduced and more traditional dormer would make the build a bit cheaper.

It's not an ideal solution, but at this stage I think doing up, selling and moving might just break us financially, especially given the whole Brexit uncertainty with house prices. We would have to buy a doer upper, and would be in the position of not being able to afford to actually do it up for several more years, so we'd be done as DC1 was moving out, which seems a massive shame.

Sorry to read about the planners. Just a couple of thoughts...

Sharing a room with a sibling isn't a punishment. Many siblings share rooms up and down the country! My children all share a bedroom with a sibling and have worked it out so that each child has an area within each room. One DD actually dislikes being in the room on her own and will only settle when a sibling is with her.

Before the ex moved out, we lived in a "separated under the same roof" scenario in which I slept in the living room with the toddler, who was only 4 months old at the time. I slept on a bed settee and it was tricky getting the bed out and put away again by morning. Some nights I went to bed quite late as so had to wait for everyone to have vacated the living room. The alternative was to get the bed ready but then It was limiting everyone's use of the living room. I only spent a few months like that but it wasn't easy and not having a space to go to was tricky as well. I can see why you're considering it but it's not an easy option.

Honeysucklelou2

Whoops, first attempt at using the quote button. Not quite a successful as I'd hoped!!!

System

Well done on your massive overpayment!!! Even if it wasn’t intentional

Gemsy81

I would just echo what the others have said about sharing with a sibling. I shared with my sister well into our teens, and we loved it. We separated our room into our own little areas, kept them tidy, and to this day, I don't like sleeping in a room on my own. I would agree that I do think it makes you more considerate.

Cherryfudge

What a day that was for you, TOPM! I hope the shock has lessened now. Savertobe may well be right that you could ring up and get the payment reduced - or perhaps partly reduced, so you keep some of the headway you've accidentally gained?

Gemsy81 wrote: »

I would just echo what the others have said about sharing with a sibling. I shared with my sister well into our teens, and we loved it. We separated our room into our own little areas, kept them tidy, and to this day, I don't like sleeping in a room on my own. I would agree that I do think it makes you more considerate.

I'm another who shared for several years while growing up but (to put a spanner in the works!) my sister and I aren't particularly close nowadays. Maybe that's at least in part because I was the dominant one! We did divide the room up so we each had our own areas. Two of my own children (boys) shared till the older one moved out and they are still friends. Also, when I was at Uni, a lot of first year students had shared rooms, and when I was a full-time volunteer I shared a room with another volunteer I'd never met before. The College years were particularly good and I still treasure those friendships, but admittedly a relationship with a sibling may work out differently. Just saying there are things to be said for each way of doing things.

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 78: Day 5

Just popping in quickly to say thank you for all your comments yesterday, I really appreciate you all taking the time to talk me down in a moment of crisis!

I have left the £422 overpayment - I have to confess I just can't be bothered to chase DH to ring up (it's in his name) and explain and get it all refunded. He is so ridiculously busy at work, has done overtime (late into the evening) twice this week and is again on Saturday, and has still found time to do some extra jobs this week, and I don't want to break the poor man. It means a little less to worry about moving to a 0% card this month, and I'll reduce the payment down to the minimum (we are currently paying around £30 over the minimum) for a few months and top up the Christmas pot with the extra. It won't quite end up balancing, but not far off. It also takes us within £1,500 of our £5k goal for this year!

Regarding the extension, we've talked it through repeatedly and have decided that for the foreseeable, the boys will have to share a room. We've discussed it with them and after a momentary disappointment they were fine. We can make sure it's a good sized room (we are dividing one big room in half to make their and DC3's room, and we can squeeze DC3's room up a little more to maximise their space!) and they have agreed that as long as they both get loft beds they are happy (they both desperately want to be on the 'top bunk'). They will also get the 'study' to share as a quiet space (or their room will be the quiet space and the study for playing in, haven't decided yet). And if at some point before DC1 moves out that becomes untenable for some reason, we will revisit the murphy bed/pod in the garden idea.

We did really think about just smartening this place up and selling it, and I spoke to two estate agents yesterday, but both brought up how incredibly lucky we are to have such a great garden in the middle of town, and how we would really struggle to replicate that without moving further out, and it reminded me how grateful we've always been for the - relatively, for town - big garden. Also we'd end up in a tatty house forever, as we just wouldn't be able to afford to smarten up a house if we spent another £20-40k actually buying it, plus moving costs etc. Both estate agents were also really positive about our planned works and how much value they would add relative to their cost.

To do this week
1. DH to phone next handful of builders on the shortlist. This is postponed until we actually know what we're building.
2. Create full list of all the 'extra' jobs that we want done alongside the extension before the first builder visits on Thursday.
3. Check in with the people servicing my Kenwood Chef whether it's ready/needs open heart surgery. DH is picking it up today.
4. Order DCs' uniform. I will actually do this one day instead of just moving it onto the next week's list .
5. DH research new 0% deal for the one expiring in September. He's done this, is going to apply for one this afternoon.
6. Invite the other guest to DC1's party so we can book the campsite.
7. Make a start on tax return.
8. Menu plan for coming weekend/next week and update shopping delivery.
9. Get a stock of social media posts ready for when we're away over the rest of the summer.
10. Get some website content up.

August money goals:
- £15.04/31 August rounding down pot. Um. I might not add to this much more this month after the accidental £422 overpayment .
- £3,657.20/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal.
- £382/£932 extension pre-build costs predicted shortfall.
- £196/864 income needed for September :eek: :eek: :eek: .