£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Starmummy

Hi TOPM,
The new SOA is exactly what you needed to do. I can't imagine the anxiety you were causing yourself by your previous budget which you knew was impossible to stick to.

There are obviously a few things that could be cut, and that I would cut if I were you. But I am not you and I completely respect wanting to keep things normal and fun for the children and still live a nice life while on this journey.

I think sometimes people forget that these posts are YOUR diary, it's your sounding bored. I think that is where social media fails us, people tend to think their opinion matters or that they have the right to voice it.

The debts are going in the right direction, you are having focus in work and home and you seem happy. I'd say that was a success story right there.
None of us are perfect, I'm certainly not and actually I relish my imperfections, much rather flawed than a bore.

Keep your chin up lovely.

SM

GeorgianaCavendish

Hi ToPM, I hope that things are ok with your family member. We are still finding our way back to normal after a very traumatic loss earlier this year and I have noticed the resurgence of some anti-MSE bad habits (takeaway coffees & pastries at weekends and posh ready meals were the main culprits) which I guess was a small rebellion against how crap everything else felt.

One thought I had on reducing the cost of children’s clothes is to set up alerts for things on eBay. I do this for high quality (ie expensive!) branded items that I buy regularly and need to replace. I’m familiar with the brands so I know exactly what size or style name to set an alert for, then when I get an email alert I can make a decision about whether I can purchase from the budget or if we are fully stocked and can pass. And most importantly, I’m not wasting hours combing eBay and getting sucked in to thinking that I really NEED several variations on a theme just because they are slightly cheaper than normal

For things like waterproof jackets, walking boots etc it would be worthwhile. I’ve noticed that a lot of retailers also have eBay stores and have decent sales a few times a year. I replaced my waterproof walking jacket and got a new pair of approach shoes using this approach and made decent savings on both.

warby68

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

I can more or less 100% guarantee that the allocation for the next 6 months isn't sufficient, but I don't have any other bright ideas. I think pretending I'm going to cut back on things like entertainment would be disingenuous (because I'm not). I will do my best to balance between the pots, but if I need to turn to a CC at Christmas because of it, I'm ok with that (I know many aren't). As long as it's an improvement on last year (where I spent the whole of Christmas in the CC, plus plenty other purchases in the latter part of the year), I'll consider it a success - unless we get some sudden influx of cash that's just the way it is. Unlearning and making up for the habits of 15+ years is taking time, but as long as I can look at the same period 3/6/12 months ago and see we have moved on (and, crucially, the debt is lower) I just can't get worked up.

I thought it might be so and I agree its not the end of the world as long as the direction of travel is right. I've been concerned your budget was too tight to maintain for the long haul.

If it weren't for those darned extension plans, it would all look pretty simple from now on :rotfl:

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 71: Day 2

Ugh, boring meeting of doom today. Hope I can keep it to a bare minimum time and get away by 11:30 so I can do an hour's work at least (it's an hour's drive away), then at 2pm I have DC3's parents' information session for starting school in September. Not going to be the most productive day ever!

Waiting for a new month to start so I can get stuck in with my new budget is a bit like starting a diet 'tomorrow'. I have an overwhelming urge to go and shop while it's still not 'official'. I have no money for this shopping, so I'm not quite sure how it would be funded.

Georgiana Cavendish that's a good idea re ebay alerts. There's not many things I am committed to in terms of brands etc, but for coats and outdoor gear for the DC it could be really good, as things tend to be trashed/grown out of at an alarming rate, and they cost a fortune.

Starmummy thank you for your lovely post, it really cheered me up. It's easy to keep reminding myself how much better I could be doing and how rubbish I am, but actually in comparison to where I was two years ago, my attitude, spending and budget couldn't be any more different!

I think something that has kept me going has been continuing to post pretty much daily throughout. I know that my commitment to the cause has waxed and waned since starting this diary in Feb 2017, but my posting hasn't, and now I've been on this board a while I've seen other diarists start, falter, stop, come back with the same or higher debts, start again, falter again, and it makes me remember that actually none of us are perfect, we're all doing what we can with what we have, emotionally as well as financially. If anyone is trying to figure out the best way to keep going with their debt, my number one ultimate recommendation would be to post regularly. It doesn't need to be daily, but I do think it does need to be more than weekly. I would suggest to any newbie/doubters to set three days a week on which you always post, put it in your diary, and post, and post honestly. Make this the one place you never ever kid yourself about your failures or your successes. Whether your post is 'urgh, failed totally, ordered takeaway' or 'wow, paid an extra £100 off with overtime,' the motivation you get from having to fess up to the bad as well as the good is unbelievable.

Warby you're right - if it wasn't for the extension everything would be fairly straight forward now! Except possibly it wouldn't, because I know that the extension has proved the real motivator for day one and I suspect our LBM wouldn't have come until we were in DMP territory otherwise. Which leads me onto finding my motivation once it is over...

This is all very pie in the sky, but I was thinking yesterday how much I would love to stop being client facing with my work, and how difficult it is to spend the time on my website based work to enable that to happen. It occurred to me that until I can save a decent chunk of my 'real' salary (i.e at least £700pm for several months, plus expenses) it's going to be really difficult to fit in the other work I want to do, as really I need enough of a cushion to take a sabbatical from being client facing. Thinking about how motivating I've found saving for the extension, it occurred to me that I need a similarly motivating goal one we've got that done, and are settled into a comfortable repayment plan. It's just at the back of my head to revisit in six months or a year's time, but I think I need to have some sort of goal like nine months' salary/expenses put by, as I could then spend a good six months working my backside off on my website work, and if it doesn't work I've got another three months to build my client facing work back up and/or find another line of work. I think I'd find that a really motivating prospect in terms of savings/spending. As I said, something to think about another day though.

Not a lot else to report, just need to crack on today and get as much done as I can while I have the time to do it (ie at 5am ).

To do yesterday
1. Make oatcakes for DC3's preschool snacks.
2. Sow salad and tie tomatoes to longer canes (finally bought some yesterday - my tomato plants are all tied to twigs from the hedge and they aren't really cutting it).
3. Write a blog post for my website. Not having time for this is what made me start considering my business plan idea above!
4. Prep some social media images.
5. Finalise plans for this weekend - we are attending a birthday party in London and need to plan when to travel (staying with family, luckily, and it should be cheap apart from the diesel).
6. Check DH has booked wildlife survey - he collated all the quotes yesterday and has found someone who will do it for a not too hideous sum.
7. Read another chapter of Getting Things Done (can't you tell it's just my kind of book? :cool: ).
8. Plan and make something for dinner using the contents of the cupboard!

To do today
1. Birthday card for friend.
2. Plan wedding outfits with DC so I can order something they might actually deign to wear. :wall:
3. RSVP to two wedding/party invitations we've recently received (at least my outfit for my sister's wedding will get plenty of use!).
4. Change hoover bag (my life. All glamour).
5. Clear the ironing (did I mention the glamour?).
6. Check credit reports/filing cabinet - DH and I need to get a handle on what credit we have available at the moment so we can figure out the best 0% solution for September.
7. Clear emails.

Mini goals:
- £19.67/30 June rounding down pot.
- £2,805.26/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal.
- £153 total extension pre-build shortfall.

cocalls

Keep going TOPM you're getting there and i for one am glad you post often.

You mention buying a birthday card again im guessing you're not a card factory kind of gal but next time you're at a nat trust poroperty id reccomend getting a pack of their note cards https://shop.nationaltrust.org.uk/notecards/c227
20 for £6 is great and theyre always on sale i got some that worked out at .16/card and they're very lovely and a great standby.

Starmummy

You are absolutely right about regular posting. I've only been at this debt busting thing 5 1/2 months and only keeping a diary since March 2018. The first few months are 'easy' you can make cuts and changes and pay off chunks and deprive yourself, then life happens and the paying off the debt gets less exciting.

I have faltered in the last few weeks a couple of times, the old me would have disappeared off the forum through shame then gone on a spending spree on the plastic and then spent a few months feeling desperate and panicky that my debts have escalated.

But this time I've sucked it up. I've confessed spends in my diary and it has kept me a little straighter than I would have otherwise. I find 'confessing my sins' a relief because actually the rest of you realise we are just human and it's ok. It's about balance. Because of that my debts are going down, I'm reaching milestones and the task is far less terrifying.

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 71: Day 3

Stayed up late last night to try to get on top of my to do list, which was getting a bit epic. As a result I am definitely not raring to go this morning. Have dragged myself out of bed though.

I ordered all the clothes for us to wear to my sister's wedding yesterday. Yuck. I did it mostly on the cheap (H&M etc) but the fact is that full smart outfits for five of us cost money, especially a suit for DH. We have three other significant parties/weddings this year to go to, so at least they will get good use (we normally have no formal events in our lives, which is why none of us have any formal clothes, at least these have all come along at once so it isn't quite so painful buying the clothes).

Honestly, my budget is just beyond disastrous this month that it needs some kind of hazard warning. I am just counting down until the end of the month and a relatively fresh start in July with a more realistic budget. Hoping I can earn a little extra money somewhere this month - I should have time to list the bike trailer this week or next, which will hopefully add a bit, alongside giving a little time to my smaller business for a few extra quid. It's all looking very financially sad here. At least the CC hasn't been cracked out, I suppose.

Interesting revelation with mileage tracking. At 45p a mile, the meeting I went to yesterday - the sort of thing I probably attend once a month - was £23 worth of mileage. Add that to the at-least-monthly bit of paid work I do nearly twice as far away, that's almost £70 I should be adding to the joint account for my mileage each month. That really surprises me, even though obviously I knew I wan't just going three miles down the road! I have logged it in my mileage tracker and transferred the money over from my business account. I can see that this is going to be a (not too awful) challenge for my business account and a significant boost for the joint account. I know I keep saying this every day, but I do feel like every discovery like this brings me slightly closer to a budget based in reality rather than wishful thinking and unicorns :rotfl: .

Ooh, does anyone remember the vanilla extract discussion a few months ago? I started using mine a month or two ago because I ran out and it was fine, but it's now pretty much had six months old and OMG it tastes amazing. Really really good. More watery than the usual vanilla extract, but much stronger vanilla flavour. I am going to do small Christmas presents for most people this year, and this is definitely going to form a key part for any adults I need to buy for. I'm going to get some more on the go in July so it's ready for Christmas.

To do yesterday
1. Birthday card for friend.
2. Plan wedding outfits with DC so I can order something they might actually deign to wear. :wall:
3. RSVP to two wedding/party invitations we've recently received (at least my outfit for my sister's wedding will get plenty of use!).
4. Change hoover bag (my life. All glamour).
5. Clear the ironing (did I mention the glamour?).
6. Check credit reports/filing cabinet - DH and I need to get a handle on what credit we have available at the moment so we can figure out the best 0% solution for September.
7. Clear emails.

To do today
1. Contract work for next week.
2. Contract work for the week after (trying to get ahead before summer!).
3. On the subject of Christmas, start vaguely planning advent calendar - I'm going to have a browse on pinterest and similar to see if there's anything I can make/prepare for free or cheap, since the DCs' homemade advent calendar is always one of my big Christmas expenses.
4. Check credit reports.
5. Birthday card for friend.
6. Plan cake sizes for my sister's wedding.
7. Read another chunk of Getting Things Done.

Mini goals:
- £19.74/30 June rounding down pot.
- £2,805.26/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal.
- £153 total extension pre-build shortfall.

wishingthemortgaheaway

Morning TOPM 2 things
1)' At least the cc hasn't been cracked open' I think should Read 'despite all the financial slip ups this month, I'm pleased to report it's all been paid for and the card of doom is still locked away in its dungeon hooray :j'
2) if you buy more vanilla pods, could you post the link please? My sample/tester has gone well and I'm now ready for the bulk purchase.

Thank you.
Wish.

warby68

I share your pain a little on the formal clothes - we need Prom outfits (boys admittedly not girls) and there really is no option but to buy it all. They used to borrow the shirts/shoes/ties for things from OH but have now outgrown him so its suits plus everything else.

Could you allocate the accountant savings plus overtime to the clothes - I don't think you'd pre-allocated these two amounts as yet although I somehow suspect it isn't enough?

Sometimes you just have to live

The serious message of course is making sure you have the reality of a full year's ToPM family realistic spending - not budget, but actual - BEFORE you start committing to extra debt. You've said again things are still taking you by surprise in this second year. The petrol is one, I know that isn't more money anywhere just a switch between pots but the learning is more about the true cost of doing business.

At this stage I'm sure a million thoughts are buzzing round but simply put it looks like its all about more income, from wherever and whenever and as much as possible!

Treadingonplaymobil

wishingthemortgaheaway wrote: »

Morning TOPM 2 things
1)' At least the cc hasn't been cracked open' I think should Read 'despite all the financial slip ups this month, I'm pleased to report it's all been paid for and the card of doom is still locked away in its dungeon hooray :j'
2) if you buy more vanilla pods, could you post the link please? My sample/tester has gone well and I'm now ready for the bulk purchase.

Thank you.
Wish.

Will do! I can't remember if I ended up buying the last lot on ebay or amazon, but I will check and link when I buy more.