Small Steps Out Of Massive Debt!

Beautiful-Moose

Hello! I have just subscribed to this thread as I feel I could have written this myself!

Well done on the start you have made, keep it up! :-)

We will all get there one day where we shall see money in a different light.

GeorgianaCavendish

ada-or-ardor wrote: »

It sounds like you're on a bigger journey than just your debt and I would guess that's another reason you get quite anxious - like you say, your security blanket is being taken away so you must feel vulnerable. You should be really proud of how brave you are being facing up to this (especially in light of your traumatic incident and the ensuing PTSD which I can only imagine are hard enough to deal with on their own without worrying about money).

This is just a little idea that might help replace your safety blanket in a healthy way. Take an empty jar, and on little slips of paper, write down things that make you feel happy and that you find therapeutic. It might be listening to a favourite song on repeat on headphones so you block out the whole world; it might be baking; it might be having a hot bath with some nice bubbles; a walk round a favourite park. Stock that jar to the brim with things that make you happy, calm you down and help you get some perspective. Then, when you have those urges or are feeling down, instead of feeling panicky that you can't go out and spend to soothe yourself you get to open your jar and do a lucky dip! You might even get a little rush, you'll feel rewarded so hopefully a little bit of dopamine, and then you get the chosen treat as well! You could pick a few and choose your favourite (in case you draw out "hot bath" but it's 30 degrees outside and you're just not in the mood.

It can be hard to remember what you enjoy and what makes you happy when you're anxious and you just sit and ruminate because that makes your brain feel happier - temporarily. I know this cycle only too well. It becomes comfortable. But it's not healthy. Having a system like the jar above might just pull you out of that place and remind you you have loads of others things that bring you joy in addition to shopping :-)

Ada

Thank you so much Ada The jar is such a great idea, I will definitely do that - I've even got an empty mason jar so I will start thinking of things I'd like to add and start filling up my jar this weekend

GeorgianaCavendish

mumto2girlsandaboy wrote: »

Have just read your diary congratulations on a great start, we've been budgeting for a year now and its really made a difference (we now have money in the bank for the car tax due) but find its an ongoing process and i am constantly learning and making adjustments. I'm not sure it will ever be 'spot on' but it certainly makes the unexpected things easier to deal with and i cant imagine the money we must have wasted in the last 20 years!
Gelmc if you find it difficult to track and record spends do you allocate a set amount you can spend on what you want but once its gone its gone.

Thank you for visiting! I am finding the tracking really illuminating in a scary wake up call kind of way. I just put my March budget into YNAB and followed their advice to give every pound a job. I need to meal plan and get more things put on my MySupermarket lists so I can compare prices properly!

Beautiful-Moose wrote: »

Hello! I have just subscribed to this thread as I feel I could have written this myself!

Well done on the start you have made, keep it up! :-)

We will all get there one day where we shall see money in a different light.

Hello and thank you for stopping by! You're right, we can do this! I've had such great support from this forum already, I feel like I'm learning some really important life skills (although much later in life than most people!)

GeorgianaCavendish

Just sitting down with a cuppa and some biscuits to watch Shop Well For Less :coffee: Have a great evening everyone

Naomim

GeorgianaCavendish wrote: »

Just sitting down with a cuppa and some biscuits to watch Shop Well For Less :coffee: Have a great evening everyone

Enjoy, I'm just about to embark on the YNAB website as MrM paid tomorrow. :T

Beautiful-Moose

You're right, we can do this! I've had such great support from this forum already, I feel like I'm learning some really important life skills (although much later in life than most people!)

You are never too old to learn something new! At least I hope not. I am learning all the time with the help of this forum. I have never been great with money, nor has my fiance. We both just allowed each other to get away with spending because it was all in the name of fun. However having had a little chat last night we both realise that it is a poop way to live when nearly a grand of our income is going to be going on getting rid of our debt. We don't want to live like this forever so now we have sorta made a plan and feel confident we can stick to it. I just need to get my head around budgets and living by one which is something I have never done.

boxofpaws

Oh my gosh, I didn't know about Shop Well For Less but am now watching episode 1. 219 pairs of shoes worth 12 grand. Wow!

GeorgianaCavendish

boxofpaws wrote: »

Oh my gosh, I didn't know about Shop Well For Less but am now watching episode 1. 219 pairs of shoes worth 12 grand. Wow!

Hunter wellies for the 3 year old twins! I get the point about certain brands lasting longer / being better quality, but for kids that age who will outgrow them in less than a year?! :eek:

Even though that family's circumstances were very different to mine (three sets of twins!) there were still some interesting points, it got me thinking a lot about how I will unthinkingly pick up the branded items for things like detergent and washing up liquid and completely dismiss the own brand stuff. Also how those small luxury choices over the course of a year cost £12000! Definitely food for though there!

GeorgianaCavendish

First shop in Aldi this weekend and I was really impressed. I did a meal plan and shopping list in advance and with the exception of a couple of store cupboard items I got everything on the list. I put it all into MySupermarket and found around 90% of the items were cheaper in Aldi than anywhere else. The quality of the food was excellent too, especially the fresh fruit and veg - far nicer than my local Tesco!

Treadingonplaymobil

I love Aldi/Lidl too. I used to always manage our food shopping so cheaply there, and I'm trying to get back in the swing of it as part of our money saving mission.