Facing the facts- as frightening as they are

EssexHebridean

A quick thought - when you do the SOA, add up all your cash withdrawals in a month from the bank statements - that money will almost certainly not be accounted for in your routine outgoings, so you need to give real thought to where it's going.

nkkingston

I would definitely try and clear that Aqua card first - that's an eye-watering interest rate, and the quicker you pay it down the less of your hard earned money they get.

Also have a look at some self help strategies for when you feel spendy. Is there an emotional catalyst? Keep a diary of every time you get the urge to spend and write down everything that's going on around you and inside you - you might find there are certain things that set you off, like insecurity, or jealousy, or boredom. I find I get much spendier after I've made a 'have to' purchase (like socks) because I'm resentful of spending my money on something I need rather than what I want (like ankle boots). Once you know what sets you off, you can decide how to tackle it. Maybe a distraction is best (start a conversation with your husband), or a reminder of what you're fighting for (picture of something you want to save up for in your wallet), or forcing yourself to wait twenty minutes to make sure it's what you really want (timer on your phone), or putting that energy to better use (clean the bathroom).

sourcrates

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enthusiasticsaver

A couple of things stand out on your soa. The only household expenses showing are food, virgin media, o2. Do you never draw out cash for entertainment, gifts, haircuts, toiletries etc? I know you said your husband pays for most of the bills but I am assuming you buy the odd bit of clothing or coffee out from your income?

Can you pinpoint the spending habits which got you into this mess and are you addressing this? Budgeting and living within your income is as important as paying off the debt. Spending behaviours can be changed - if you online shop stop this. Having to go to the shop draw out cash is much more time consuming and takes more effort so by the time you have got there you have had time to think whether the thing you are buying is really essential. Think about whether you are buying things you want or need. If it is a want don't succumb unless it is budgeted and saved for.

Firstly - cut up the cards. You need to learn how to manage money responsibly. Unfortunately if your family has always bailed you out they have not taught you good responsible finance planning. Don't borrow from them any more or your husband. Quite simply if you don't have the money to buy something then don't.

Keep a spending diary to record all spends. As far as paying off the cards tackle the most expensive first and maybe sell stuff or take on a 2nd job to repay them quicker.