Ex refusing to pay Child Maintenance - HELP!

DUTR

pilliepop wrote: »

Thank you DeborahSt for your kind reply. I hadn't replied until now because the other comments honestly made me feel like crap. But it's good to see there's one lovely person on this forum. .

Yes, my ex husband has a good income. But to those who have replied above - I also work full time and earn £30k plus per year. I live in a modest rented house which is in an expensive area but have to live there because it is where my kids go to school and they have to walk there and back everyday so that I can commute into London.

I am not expecting a free ride or for my ex husband's maintenance payments to keep me in a certain lifestyle. I work bloody hard just to put food on the table! So maybe the next time you all reply to a thread you may want to consider you don't have all the facts! Not everyone is expecting their ex's to support a 'lavish' lifestyle! Some, like me, just need help to raise their kids - which is hard enough on my own!

Guest101 summarised admireably, we can only go on the information you have provided and we only have one side of the story, some of the respondents are or have been NRPs so can relate to your post as those that contribute get slated for not contributing enough.

DeborahSt

Guest101 wrote: »

I think part of the problem was your reasoning that your ex would go off 'sick' to spite you.

At no point did the OP suggest he was doing this to spite her.


Looking at the CSA site under the "rates" section, if SSP counts as a benefit, the weekly amount of child benefit is a flat rate of £7.00

DUTR

DeborahSt wrote: »

At no point did the OP suggest he was doing this to spite her.


Looking at the CSA site under the "rates" section, if SSP counts as a benefit, the weekly amount of child benefit is a flat rate of £7.00

The 3rd paragraph i the opening post suggests just that.

marliepanda

DeborahSt wrote: »

At no point did the OP suggest he was doing this to spite her.


Looking at the CSA site under the "rates" section, if SSP counts as a benefit, the weekly amount of child benefit is a flat rate of £7.00

She accuses him of lying multiple times. Off with "stress" off "sick" 'I'm sure his employer is paying him a full wage'

Sounds pretty bitter to me.

Rejast

£680 sounds about right if he is earning £55k with no new children in his household, no shared care, and paying no pension contributions...
I know it is hard to hear but i realy think you need to re-evaluate your own spending. I'm saying this as someone who has been both a single parent and the partner of a paying parent.
From the single parent side, i understand how tight budgets can be and that every penny counts. If your finances are so tight what do you have in place if your maintenance payments were to lower or even stop completely for a legitimate reason? You need to prepare yourself for the day he decides to pay more into his pension, starts a new relationship and moves in with someone with children, changes or loses his job, or even dies.
As the partner of a paying parent, he will still have his own house to run, why should he and/or his new family be the only ones feeling the pinch of no/vastly reduced income?

Sambella

How much is your rent and how much is your childcare?

£30k + is a good wage for a lone parent. Presumably you work full time.

Fission

Guest101 wrote: »

I think part of the problem was your reasoning that your ex would go off 'sick' to spite you.

Unfortunately, such things are not as rare as they ought to be.

The OP should take heart from some of the more constructive responses she has had. If by any chance the CSA assessment is based on an unfeasibly low income for the other party, she should appeal against it. Tribunals are very practiced at getting to the bottom of declarations of low or no income. No-one lives on fresh air.

Robin-o'-the-Hood

Sambella wrote: »

How much is your rent and how much is your childcare?

£30k + is a good wage for a lone parent. Presumably you work full time.

Why not ask how much is the NRP's rent/mortgage...? And of course he doesn't have to worry about the childcare.
Why shouldn't a lone parent have a wage of £30K??? Fair play to her, I only earn £26K but at least its not anywhere near London.

To those people who talk of the PWC tightening her belt etc etc and of people here being NRPs and knowing the score, may I respectfully ask why the NRPs are NRPs? Why didn't they fight to be the PWC? The answer is that its a lot easier to live a life as an NRP. And yes, I am both at once so I do know. I pay maintenance to Ex No.1 (we get along fine) but get nothing from Ex.2 who disappeared 9 years ago and pays nothing but has a comfortable lifestyle (going by her addresses on Companies House website) as the CMS finds a maintenance evader who is self employed too hard to deal with.

But I'm sure anyone reading this knows better.

Money_maker

Perhaps the OP may like to skip over to the debtfree wannabe board where the peeps there can help her with a soa, reduce her outgoings (funny how so many peeps see a massive sky contract & £70 mobile bills as 'essential') and help her create some savings.

Guest101

Robin-o'-the-Hood wrote: »

Why not ask how much is the NRP's rent/mortgage...? And of course he doesn't have to worry about the childcare.
Why shouldn't a lone parent have a wage of £30K??? Fair play to her, I only earn £26K but at least its not anywhere near London.

To those people who talk of the PWC tightening her belt etc etc and of people here being NRPs and knowing the score, may I respectfully ask why the NRPs are NRPs? - usually because they're male. Why didn't they fight to be the PWC? - because courts tend to favour women? The answer is that its a lot easier to live a life as an NRP - really? . And yes, I am both at once so I do know. I pay maintenance to Ex No.1 (we get along fine) but get nothing from Ex.2 who disappeared 9 years ago and pays nothing but has a comfortable lifestyle (going by her addresses on Companies House website) as the CMS finds a maintenance evader who is self employed too hard to deal with. - indeed, but that is not the norm

But I'm sure anyone reading this knows better.

PWC also get to claim taxpayer funding to support themselves.


So you have your income, a % of your ex's income and supplement. - yep that's a tough life