deleted this

sethsgran

decided not to post this. Sorry to waste everyones time but I don't want there to be a chance that the father of our grandchild recognises this. I know I know it's probably one in a zillion chance that he will see this but we just want him out of their lives and as we haven't heard from him for about 14 month I don't want to rock the boat

allen35

Hi Seth's gran, My friend is going through something similar (£23 deducted) but if there's been no contact for a while or contact is likely to cause undue stress or threats you can opt out and it's meant to be taken as truth. Your daughter will have to have an interview where they will ask Q's relating to reasons why. If she just tells the truth and how it is causing undue stress she should be o.k. My friend has appealed(look at my thread 'undue stress') and been refused he is awaiting a tribunal. Try and get some impartial advice from your local C.A.B and good luck.

mum2one

Hi
Basically when your daughter has her interview, they will ask about the father, but if there is a risk to your daughter or your grandchild, say there had been violence, then the DHSS have the discretion not to go through the CSA.

sethsgran

Thanks I appreciate that I decided to delete as I felt nervous about it as I don't want to make her problems worse. Words can't express what she has been through so we want him out of their lives. If that means £23 a week less then so be it we will all have to budget to get through.:o

sethsgran

No violence but he messed her up in her head. I'll say no more or I will get emotional

allen35

Try and keep your head high for your little ones. Worst case scenario is deductions of £23 but i would advise your daughter to appeal on the grounds you have stated. The interviews are very polite not like some with the benefit offices. At the end of the day YOU ARE RIGHT and your just confirming it face to face (it's not a grilling

sethsgran

Thanks for the support. She really doesn't need him around. Even his dad thinks he, baby's father, is best out of both of their lives. She is the most amazing mum I stand in awe of her love, kindness and patience with her son. Even in just these few posts I have picked up some good ideas thanks again.

sethsgran

Good news she got a letter today that says they accept her decision to not involve the father. She had the interview etc last week and 6 days later she received her reply. I know this is a case of them, CSA, making the right choice. She is honest and simply told the truth about him.