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Sashybo - Back Again

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Debt Free Diaries
1.6K replies 93.5K views
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  • sashybosashybo Forumite
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    Went downstairs after my last post & DS was grumbling - DH was holding him & said "Oh he's tired" and I went over to say hello to my baby. DS then started grumbling again (not crying) & MIL butts in with "Oh has your mummy made you cry" :mad::rotfl:. I just said "No he's telling me how bad you've been to him whilst I was upstairs". :p

    Sounds stupid I know but it's the daft things she says without thinking that get my hackles up. I don't think she means it in a bad way but she just says things that annoy me.

    She was then interrogating me about what I'm going to do for childcare when I go back to work. I don't know yet, give me a break! Can't really organise anything until I know what's happening with my job anyway.

    I got DH to give DS a bath this morning so MIL could " help". :rotfl: Poor DH was getting lots of advice. :rotfl: She does dote on DS which is nice to see but it's just a case of establishing boundaries now I think. :)
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £15,319 extra paid off debt.
    Total Debt paid off £66,624 Car loans £13,833 Garage conversion £6,077, O/D 0% BT £1,940.

    Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
  • sashybosashybo Forumite
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    Have been up with DS for about an hour, he's fallen asleep again now. Not sure if it's worth going back to bed as we need to be up again by 8am at the latest so we make it to our singing/story group. DH taking MIL for coffee so DS & I can escape for a couple of hours.:)

    MIL not been as bad this time, she's sharing him a lot more which is good plus he won't go to sleep for her so she has no choice but to hand him over to me at nap times & bedtime. ;)

    DS has started laughing properly which is super sweet. :D DH nearly bursts with pride every time he gets him to laugh.:rotfl:

    Made a crustless quiche for dinner last night (a s!imming world recipe that uses cottage cheese instead of cheddar, although I still used some cheddar as well). It was actually very nice, DH ate half of it by himself though so it disappeared pretty quickly. Seems a good way of using up old veg in the fridge too. :T

    Have now set up another instant access savings account related to our joint account so we can start putting some money aside for car expenses i.e. MOT/repairs.

    We have accounts for birthdays/Christmas, cats (food/litter/general vet bills), household (appliances/repairs etc) & DS but not for the cars as we had PCP cars until a few months ago so servicing etc covered & no MOT.

    Have been meaning to do it for ages but kept forgetting until Hidden was talking about different categories for her new budget in her diary.

    We're going to cut our birthday/Christmas standing order from £70 p/m to £35 as I'm going to try and use vouchers from survey sites that don't give cash for more presents. The other £35 can then be diverted to the car account.

    My next pay is the first on statutory maternity pay (a third of my usual 4 weekly pay :() so we'll need to see how our budget works with that. Extremely tightly I'd guess. :( Oh well, I'll need to do more surveys & overpay loan no1 as much as possible so it's gone before Christmas & that will give us £150 extra p/m.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £15,319 extra paid off debt.
    Total Debt paid off £66,624 Car loans £13,833 Garage conversion £6,077, O/D 0% BT £1,940.

    Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
  • sashybosashybo Forumite
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    Oh & have finally got DH to give me the log in details for our utilities account online so that I can submit the gas and electricity meter readings at least once a month. DH had been doing it but kept forgetting as so busy and I might as well do it since I'm at home with DS for now. Don't want too many estimated bills, especially with winter on the way.

    Our previous supplier constantly mucked up the billing and we seriously underpaid for our electricity usage (and that was with DH chasing them constantly for a bill and insisting that the DD be put up when they kept trying to reduce it :mad:). We've now received a bill for £400 several months after switching to another supplier. :mad:

    DH phoned up & split the amount into four monthly payments of £100 but it's money we wouldn't need to be paying out now if they'd billed us properly in the first place. :mad: This was with us submitting meter readings as well, grr. Not good timing when my wage is being reduced. :(
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £15,319 extra paid off debt.
    Total Debt paid off £66,624 Car loans £13,833 Garage conversion £6,077, O/D 0% BT £1,940.

    Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
  • Eager_ElephantEager_Elephant Forumite
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    I'm glad MIL has been better this time round.

    Luckily my MIL didn't drive (and neither do my parents) so any visits to theirs was on our terms only - it was fab and when I read about your MIL I am so thankful it was like that.

    I think you are handling things really well - just remember you cannot change other people but you can change how you react to them. I think seeing the positives in the situation is all you can do - so see MIL visit as a chance for you to get on and do things without baby being 2ft from you rather than her hogging the baby which stresses you out.

    I think it was rude of her to ask about the childcare when you return to work especially due to the job situation - maybe she is angling to have the baby and they might move closer!!!!
  • Eager_ElephantEager_Elephant Forumite
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    Just seen post about utilities - have you checked the bill is correct?
    If it is could you put in a complaint and detail all the things DH did for you not to fall behind and nothing worked and now you have a large debt which is unaffordable.
  • sashybosashybo Forumite
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    Hi EE, :eek: to the suggestion that MIL wants to move closer!!:eek: I couldn't handle her being too near, I just know she'd be round every day.:eek:

    Yes she always asks really nosy questions and doesn't seem to realise it's rude!:rotfl:

    I'm trying to see the positives but she's driving me a bit mad again today. :o Tried to snatch the baby as soon as I walked back in the door from our wee trip out to singing/story group. :cool: Have retreated upstairs to do the shredding and some surveys and have abandoned poor DS. :o DH can deal with his mother for now, think I'll have a nice hot bath soon.

    Yes, unfortunately the bill is correct. I think DH already made several complaints but will double check.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £15,319 extra paid off debt.
    Total Debt paid off £66,624 Car loans £13,833 Garage conversion £6,077, O/D 0% BT £1,940.

    Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
  • HiddenidenityHiddenidenity Forumite
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    MIL - everyday oh my the thought makes me want to cry :rotfl: I'm lucky mine doesn't even visit once a year :rotfl: She's only 10 mins away but doesn't bother. Fine by me ;)

    Hopefully by the next visit she will have calmed down even more and just be the normal level of annoying in law ;)
  • sashybosashybo Forumite
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    Oh god Hidden, I wish my MIL didn't bother (for my sake, not DS). I think she's going to be one of those nightmare grans who always knows better & ignores everything I tell her to do with DS.

    She's driving me crackers, I keep having to go off & do something to stop myself losing my temper. Half the time she acts like she's never dealt with a baby before (but won't believe me if I tell her what's wrong) & the other half she knows better than me. :cool:

    She's still doing the taking DS away from DH thing which really bugs me. :mad: He knows what he's doing, leave him alone! :mad:
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £15,319 extra paid off debt.
    Total Debt paid off £66,624 Car loans £13,833 Garage conversion £6,077, O/D 0% BT £1,940.

    Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
  • boxofpawsboxofpaws Forumite
    493 posts
    Third Anniversary
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    I would also try to focus on the positive and take the opportunity to get on with the other things you need to do, meaning when she's gone you can concentrate on quality time with your husband and giant baby.

    I must try the crustless quiche.
    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £27,819.22
  • edited 15 August 2017 at 10:53AM
    sashybosashybo Forumite
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    edited 15 August 2017 at 10:53AM
    Thanks paws, I think I coped better this time as I was less hormonal & less in the possessive "he's MY (giant)baby" stage. :rotfl: It was mostly ok, just small things irritating me as I'm not the most patient of people & it's so much worse when someone is staying with me as they're there all the time!!:o

    Do you know one thing I've noticed is that she takes photos of DS & she takes photos of DH with DS but has never asked to take a photo of the three of us or of me with DS. Just another small way of trying to cut me out of things, I don't even think it's a conscious decision. :cool: :(

    She also keeps going on about how much money DS is going to cost us when he gets bigger & how we won't be able to afford any more children.:eek: Not really up to her though is it?? I just ignore her when she says stupid things like that & she'll repeat it as though I just didn't hear her!:cool:

    DH took her to the airport half an hour ago. :j :j She wants to come up again before Christmas. :eek:

    DH is taking our oldest cat to the vet later to get his teeth checked, think he'll be booked in for a scale & polish later in the week. We have about half of the money we'll need for it in the cats' savings account. That sounds mental actually.:rotfl: The cats don't have a savings account. :rotfl: Just the account we put money into for the cats expenses.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £15,319 extra paid off debt.
    Total Debt paid off £66,624 Car loans £13,833 Garage conversion £6,077, O/D 0% BT £1,940.

    Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
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