Can you help me?

Ilona

claireizadiamond wrote: »

Husband keeps mentioning about a shared bank account, I just don't feel comfortable using his money that he works hard for.

Hi Claire. Your husband is not just working for himself, you are a family unit and soon to be three. At the moment you both work, so both contribute to the household expenses. When baby comes along you will still be working but in a different role, your income will be reduced, but your work will still be of a significant value to the harmony of the household.

As a wife and mother you are part of a team, not little Miss Independent. Your husband is an equal partner in that team so there has to be some coming together and meeting in the middle.

I suggest you sit down together and discuss having a joint household bank account where both of you pool your resources. He may put a little more into it than you because he is the breadwinner of the family. You then discuss what comes out of that account, household bills etc. No one spends it without the other's approval. You can build a savings pot into it for an emergency fund.

You also both keep your own bank accounts for your own personal spends, to do with it what you like. You can come to some arrangement about what is a fair amount. Don't undervalue your role in the partnership, as I said, you will still be working but in a different role.
Ilona

Aced2016

And don't get too worried about joint bank account !

They're not for everyone, I've been with my husband for 14 years and never once had a joint bank account.

We split bills and my money is mine and vice versa. All my friends also do the same. It works perfect for us so if your happy keep it as is. If not have a talk with him.

I just like not having to rely on anyone even though we are still part of a team.

enthusiasticsaver

I think you do need to have a talk with your husband re banking arrangements. I feel sad when I see women who usually end up working part time struggling on a pittance while juggling childcare costs when their OH carries on with their same financial arrangements they had prior to starting a family. You will be a family unit, babies cost money and parents are jointly responsible for that and that includes mums on maternity pay. Your income will drop and you are not solely responsible for your new baby. Maybe your husband feels more comfortable knowing you have access to some money when eventually your maternity pay stops. Even if you intend returning to work there will be childcare costs involved.

What we did is a shared joint account and all income and all household, joint bills came out of that. We also had a couple of savings accounts - one for emergencies and one for holidays, Christmas, car, house repairs etc. We also kept one personal account each and had the same amount of money each month. Maybe that might work for you? You are both working hard and it is not your fault that looking after children is not recognised as paid work. My husband always recognised that luckily so I never had any scruples in letting him support us while I was a SAHM for the 2 or 3 years when our girls were very small. Even when I returned to work it was part time for many years so I would have been very unhappy if he had cash to chuck around whilst I was struggling.

redpete

claireizadiamond wrote: »

hamiltoes- Thank you Husband keeps mentioning about a shared bank account, I just don't feel comfortable using his money that he works hard for.

You both contributed to producing the baby, you will both benefit from having a little one around. Is he giving up full time work to help care for the baby? If not why shouldn't he contribute more £s to the family budget once you are not able to earn the same as before?

itchyfeet123

redpete wrote: »

You both contributed to producing the baby, you will both benefit from having a little one around. Is he giving up full time work to help care for the baby? If not why shouldn't he contribute more £s to the family budget once you are not able to earn the same as before?

Exactly. You are providing full-time, one-on-one child care. If you had a nanny, that would be several hundred £ a week. Covering a few extra expenses that you have paid up until now is a bargain for your husband compared to you staying at work and him having to come up with at least half the cost of a nanny. You are both contributing to the household in different ways.

Trivia: the value of unpaid work in the home (things like childcare, gardening, cleaning, etc) is about half as much as the entire GDP.

McKneff

Car boot sales are brilliant for getting anything baby related for next to nothing