What Caused Your Debts

Jackiec09

A bad choice in husbands.

-The first was ok. No debt. Get on really well with him now.:happyhear

-The second died (not his fault but he was a bad husband), he was only 38 and it was all in my name so entered a DMP which was fine and I could easily manage.:undecided

-:mad: The third, well, where do I start, he lied, lied and lied again. All his debt was in my name as he couldn't get any credit. He kept back money for drink and drugs (I knew nothing for definite at the time, had suspicions though. It's all just recently coming to light. Funny how people speak up about these things after the event). Then we had a daughter, he packed his bags and waved bye bye when she was 4 months old.:eek: He pays me no money for her and as he's on benefits he gets away with it.

Don't get me wrong, I partly blame myself for being so gullible, but can't ever forgive him for what he has done. But hey, I'll get by and come out the other side a stronger and better person. Might be drawing my pension and in a care home by then but at least I'll be debt free.:rotfl:

beemuzed

Quite simply - spending more than we were earning, thanks to easy availability of credit. Wish I could blame someone else, but no. Am now realising the difference between "want" and "need".

TonyC

The first living in a place I couldnt afford (which I was alright with for the first two years - no debt at all), then I got a credit card, spent £900 and though on my god first debt I had ever had. Cut up the card got the balance down to around £200 then they sent me a new card - first big mistake.

Second buying a user card for £3500 which lasted around 8 months before being completely knackered. Third was buying the next car with my credit card for £2500. Then some new double glazing at £5000 at 20% per year interest (still paying - but a much better rate). Then there was some must have toys, pocket pc, new mobile etc. Now £47k later and four children I am trying to get the budget under control and hopefully within the next year should have cleared around £7k.

Then the rest within about 3 years, given decent payrises etc.

jonnyboy80

Spending a stupid amount of money at uni and then thinking I could just carry on once I finished! However, instead of spending the student loan co. money I stupidly borrowed off CC and consolidated my debts twice. Only now, 5 years after leaving uni, have I really faced up to the problem..However, I have promised it to myself that I can turn this mess around before my 30th birthday in 3 years........

bathgatebuyer

For me, it's often been boredom. Moving to a new city, not having brilliant self-esteem at times, and trying to buy a bit of happiness for myself.

I was always a bit of a joke figure at school - the wee fat kid. "Look, there goes Bathgatebuyer...........ha ha, look at how fat she is...." (and the sad thing is looking back, I wasn't and I would love to be that size now!). Nonetheless, I supppose I had this attitude of wanting to go back home and say, "Oh, so you're laughing at me? Look at my new Omega watch - yep, £2K, you laughing now, you sh*t? What about my nice new car? Yeah, real laughing stock aren't I?" When I realised that people would be jealous of some of the things I had and the lifestyle I had given myself, I'd went from being the kid they all laughed at to being an independent woman they were jealous of.

Part of that also comes from growing up in a house where we had no money. I can remember being about 6 and having two lassies from nearby chasing me, catching me and beating me because I was wearing clothes my Mum had made for me. My Mum is a great seamstress and made loads of my clothes for me when I was younger and saved a fortune doing so. Because I wasn't wearing the latest jeans of anything (I was 6 for heavnsake!) I got battered and had my trousers thrown in the river by those girls. Even thinking about that now, I'm so angry that because we were poor, I was treated like that by them. Having had the money worries I have over the past few years, I realise just how wonderful my Mum is as I never heard her complain once about money when we were growing up and at that time she was 27 been married, had a baby, been divorced, been back to live with her parents, eventually got a council house, meanwhile holding down the same job she does now (She's my absolute hero and, God, now I'm crying at the PC thinking about how much she's done for me!)

Spending roled along ok until about 3 years ago when I left a job I loved for a higher paying one. Within 6 weeks of starting it, I was out of work. The 16 months after that, I only had 6 months when I actually worked. So, my debts went from being just credit card debts, to including mortgage and council tax arrears, loan arrears, etc.

Now I'm back on my feet. I have been in employment now for 17 months, and have tackled debts head on. After a period of counselling when I was absolutely depressed over things, it made me realise why I do a lot of the things I do, even in relation to spending and that has given me a different outlook on what matters to me in life.

lunar

My debt started with fertility treatment, i spent thousands, each time it failed my x-husband ignored it and i went out shopping. I felt like i deserved it, two miscarrages and several years later we got divorced and had a huge amount of debt.

Hopefully will be having treatment again next year with my amazing partner, but this time i will wait for the NHS list. At £3000 a time you can see where it all adds up!

DisillusionedAnna

Mine began as a favour to my younger sister, Id just come out of an abusive marriage...cleared all my debts, anf finally council gave me a flat, which I furnished with the basics mostly 2nd hand and enjoyed doing it that way. Then,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, my younger sister asked me to guarantee a loan she needed to help her pay back rent etc as she was on the point of being evicted, so I did that (Provident ye gods), she paid me every week then she asked could I lend her some more money, well Id just gotten a Capital One Card so she went way hay on that till it was maxed out.
I let her just borrow and borrow, then one day Ibrought the shutters down and said NO NO .
48hrs later myself and my other two sisters were summoned to the local hosp as she had been admitted, I went along thinking she had an accident, and then thats when life went horribly scarily downhill.
She had taken an overdose and basically there was nothing we could do but turn of the machine. Debt can be a creul master,thats why this site is so crutcial to lots of people, in the darkest bit of your debt nightmares/fears Martins site makes you realise, no matter how much you owe there is a possible solution. The solutions not easy to start with, byt by god worked at it gets better each day.
The knowledge and insight I have gained just from reading peoples diaries and there effort sto get debtfree is amazing, each person singular and the whole united makes an impact that should be shouted out loud and heard. My only regret is I never knew this site and you folk existed 2 years ago...maybe Lynn would be with me now, who knows, but the learning curve Ive learned is to stand up and ask for help, on here its given freely unconditionally,no fingers pointing, just a gentle helping hand to help you out of the dark into light.
I just love the nice light ,sometimes funny quirkey things you all do
in the quest to be debt free, and Im just about to join you all in the next week once Ive go my SOA together.
Best wishes to you all
Anna

always_amazed

I think I started spending more than I earned (and frittering) when I was desperatly unhappy. I didn't realise it at the time, but I was not actually coping with a demanding uni course, a demanding family, an 'bad boy' OH and a really painful and difficult chronic illness (but I'm getting that fixed soon, as modern medicine is so super!!).
So I think I spent to get away from all that. Now I've stopped the spending and I'm trying to address the issues as best I can, but I wish therapy wasn't so darn expensive!!

lunar

Anna, your post just shows how irresponsible the credit companies are in lending out so much money. I know we have all played our parts in buliding up these debts, however they take no interest (except money) when we want to turn things around, they just seem to encourage us to take on more debt. I cant imagin what you must have been through since all this happened, i will watch out for your SOA, Take care

When i was at my lowest point over my debts i could have taken the same road, it was only the thought of people finding out about my debt that stopped me. thank god for martins site and all the people here to support eachother.

DisillusionedAnna

thanks Lunar...sometimes its hard but this site was my sanity, it should be a national institution..I live each day now happy in the realisation that Im one day going to be debt free and I stick up the double finger salute to credit now,but gooodness has it been a hard learned lesson, one which has had such an impact it will never be forgotten .
My SOA is in the construction of oooh painful lol but sortable !!! and thanks for the reply