Regret retiring too early with not enough money?

woolly_wombat

chiefie wrote: »

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/consumer-affairs/new-family-tax-older-family-members-paying-young/

This is what is currently getting me concerned - that I'll need more to help the kids

Yes, that's a growing concern in this household.

With, as of this weekend, two twenty-something returners to the family nest and young 'uns jobs looking wobbly, the future is looking decidedly less bright for them than we had hoped and planned for.

Malthusian

chiefie wrote: »

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/consumer-affairs/new-family-tax-older-family-members-paying-young/

An entirely voluntary purchasing decision (in this case, money to gift to your children to buy a property) is not a tax. Not even if you want it really really hard. Or if you have conjured up an idea in your mind that everybody expects you to give your children money.

In due course I expect I would love to help my children buy a property, but if I don't have the money they can save up for themselves like everybody else. If they can't afford a certain property because I don't have 20 grand spare to give them, then they can buy a smaller property or in a different area.

If they start thinking they're entitled to it they won't get a penny. What would be the point? They'd just be miserable because they couldn't afford to buy an even larger house due to me not having 50 grand spare.

There is no quicker route to misery than thinking of luxuries as necessities. It takes all the pleasure out of having them and doubles the unhappiness of not having them.

chiefie

Malthusian wrote: »

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An entirely voluntary purchasing decision (in this case, money to gift to your children to buy a property) is not a tax. Not even if you want it really really hard. Or if you have conjured up an idea in your mind that everybody expects you to give your children money.

In due course I expect I would love to help my children buy a property, but if I don't have the money they can save up for themselves like everybody else. If they can't afford a certain property because I don't have 20 grand spare to give them, then they can buy a smaller property or in a different area.

If they start thinking they're entitled to it they won't get a penny. What would be the point? They'd just be miserable because they couldn't afford to buy an even larger house due to me not having 50 grand spare.

There is no quicker route to misery than thinking of luxuries as necessities. It takes all the pleasure out of having them and doubles the unhappiness of not having them.

It's not property buying, it's just being able to support them through UNI. They have jobs but can't pay the accommodation costs too at the same time as paying their own way. It is costing about £5.5k per child for digs for 40 weeks. I worry that they will Feel loaded with the student debt of tuition fees too which I'm afraid, contrary to some people's views, is an absolute disgrace and definately will stop some people going to uni. Luxuries I'm afraid stopped at 18 although their mum does spoil them and thinks that I don't know 😄

Wednesday2000

jennyjj wrote: »

Quite so.
I know what it's like to suffer financial stress and can tighten my belt and live frugally as though it's a simple reflex action. Having a heap of debt for a while built into me an ability to embrace frugality, and that ability turned into a lifetime habit which I'm only just breaking. A good life-skill.

Yes, I am the same way as I lived in poverty when I was young and my husband and I were also quite a bit in debt at one point. I think that is why I am so confident that I would be able to live on less, or find a way to make money, if something does go wrong after I retire.:)

atush

chiefie wrote: »

It's not property buying, it's just being able to support them through UNI. They have jobs but can't pay the accommodation costs too at the same time as paying their own way. It is costing about £5.5k per child for digs for 40 weeks. I worry that they will Feel loaded with the student debt of tuition fees too which I'm afraid, contrary to some people's views, is an absolute disgrace and definately will stop some people going to uni. Luxuries I'm afraid stopped at 18 although their mum does spoil them and thinks that I don't know 😄

Costs for my 3 were higher, 6-8K PA

Triumph13

For those who can afford to help their kids, there is a really delicate balancing act to be achieved. Whilst I agree with Malthusian about the risks of enabling 'lifestyle inflation' in your kids, I also very much recognise how easy I had it compared to the world that my kids will be facing and therefore how valuable my help could be to them.
At the moment, I am lucky to have very non-consumerist kids. I hope that continues and so I don't ever end up trotting out "Well if you can afford to buy that then you clearly don't need any help from me!"

atush

es, there is a fine line between helping and spoiling.

justme111

Triumph,interesting that you believe it is more difficult now than it was before. Why you think so ?

Malthusian

Triumph13 wrote: »

I also very much recognise how easy I had it compared to the world that my kids will be facing and therefore how valuable my help could be to them.

I had it way easier than my parents. Food is much cheaper, electronic goods and appliances of every variety are much cheaper, I could afford holidays abroad even on a student's budget. I haven't had to cope with three day weeks or general strikes. At university I could complete my degree with some well-chosen Internet searches instead of poring through the university library. No doubt my kids will have it even easier than I did in ways I can't even imagine. I'll still help them with house purchase if I can.

atush

justme111 wrote: »

Triumph,interesting that you believe it is more difficult now than it was before. Why you think so ?

Well you didnt ask me but i'll say- my kids father got a free university education with grant on top ( I didnt as grew up in USA), houses were cheaper, DB pensions were still available to name 3.