What happens to the mortgage and house after divorce?

NOVAMET21

Hi


My friend needs help as he has just broken up with his wife. They have got a house together in both their names and paying mortgage. They also have 3 kids together.


He wants to know now they are separated and likely to get divorce, what will happen to the house and the mortgage?


Will he be able to sell the house and split the money they get from selling the house? What if his wife rejects this idea and wants to live in the house? He pays the mortgage so if she decides not to sell, does he have to keep paying the mortgage until the youngest child is 16? Is there any kind of rules for this situation?


Thanks

muhandis

Given that they are married and have 3 kids together and assuming the wife is a stay-at-home mother, it is very unlikely that your friend will be able to take any steps with regard to the family home without his wife's agreement.

It's complicated and I don't have much to offer besides the standard advice to ask your friend to consult a divorce solicitor.

agurung wrote: »

Hi

My friend needs help as he has just broken up with his wife. They have got a house together in both their names and paying mortgage. They also have 3 kids together.

He wants to know now they are separated and likely to get divorce, what will happen to the house and the mortgage?

Will he be able to sell the house and split the money they get from selling the house? What if his wife rejects this idea and wants to live in the house? He pays the mortgage so if she decides not to sell, does he have to keep paying the mortgage until the youngest child is 16? Is there any kind of rules for this situation?

Thanks

MockTurtle

Generally, your wife will get to stay in the house until the youngest is 18 or leaves full time education. That is pretty much a given.


However, how the mortgage gets paid in the meantime pretty much comes down to which side has the better solicitor!

I have male friends who are still paying 100% of the mortgage on the old marital home where the wife and kids are and are also struggling to afford to pay for a roof over their own heads.

I have male friends who pay 50% of the mortgage on the marital home and they are doing slightly better.

I also have a female friend who stayed in the marital home with the kids, is now paying 100% of the mortgage herself and will have to sell the house when the youngest is 18 and give her ex half the proceeds.

So it varies greatly. I was lucky in divorce in that we hadn't got kids so it was a much easier split, but the solicitors fees were still eye-watering.

My advice to your friend would be to try and keep things as amicable as possible, use wikivorce and work out as much as possible themselves. Only engage a solicitor when absolutely necessary.

NOVAMET21

muhandis wrote: »

Given that they are married and have 3 kids together and assuming the wife is a stay-at-home mother, it is very unlikely that your friend will be able to take any steps with regard to the family home without his wife's agreement.

It's complicated and I don't have much to offer besides the standard advice to ask your friend to consult a divorce solicitor.

Mmmm.... just read few articles and it does say that if children are involved then it is more difficult as the court could let the mother stay with the children until the youngest one is 18. This means probably my friend have to keep paying the mortgage and cannot sell the house until then.

NOVAMET21

MockTurtle wrote: »

Generally, your wife will get to stay in the house until the youngest is 18 or leaves full time education. That is pretty much a given.


However, how the mortgage gets paid in the meantime pretty much comes down to which side has the better solicitor!

I have male friends who are still paying 100% of the mortgage on the old marital home where the wife and kids are and are also struggling to afford to pay for a roof over their own heads.

I have male friends who pay 50% of the mortgage on the marital home and they are doing slightly better.

I also have a female friend who stayed in the marital home with the kids, is now paying 100% of the mortgage herself and will have to sell the house when the youngest is 18 and give her ex half the proceeds.

So it varies greatly. I was lucky in divorce in that we hadn't got kids so it was a much easier split, but the solicitors fees were still eye-watering.

My advice to your friend would be to try and keep things as amicable as possible, use wikivorce and work out as much as possible themselves. Only engage a solicitor when absolutely necessary.

Thanks. A bit of hope for him. Do you know how much do the solicitor costs? I know it varies but how much did you pay as you said it was eye-watering?

AllyMac

It really is a piece of string question.
It's not at all the case that the main care provider usually stays in the former marital home until the youngest is 18. It's a common solution (look at Mesher Orders) but it is not a given.
The court will want both parties to be adequately housed, and be focused on the needs of the children as a priority.
The court often favours a clean break, if there is enough equity for both parties to buy separately in smaller properties.

Is your friend planning to step up and care for his three children 50% of the time? Or expect his ex wife to do that whilst he moans about having to pay towards their home?

In my personal experience, I've known more male acquaintances complain about the cost of leaving the majority of the time and cost of parenting to their ex when they're getting a good deal for it, than men either stepping up to truly be 50/50 or accept that they're getting a good deal!

Situations are all so different - he needs a solicitor to look at his. Mine was £30 per 6 minute block. He can reduce costs by be very clear about what he wants, but realistic - and prepared. My solicitor said she was getting paid to hear people moaning about their ex, when they should have been keeping it to legal business!

If I sound jaded, it's because my ex husband !!!!!ed to his mates about having to buy me out 50% on a property that I'd paid half deposit and 50% all bills and mortgage! There is a cultural tendency for some men to revel in the "!!!!! fleeced me" type story. Your friend has 3 children. So yes, that might mean paying to house them.

Thrugelmir

agurung wrote: »

Mmmm.... just read few articles and it does say that if children are involved then it is more difficult as the court could let the mother stay with the children until the youngest one is 18. This means probably my friend have to keep paying the mortgage and cannot sell the house until then.

Correct. The welfare of the children is paramount and comes first. Your friend needs to consult a family solicitor. They operate under a code of practice not to be confrontational during a period which is stressful and difficult for the parties concerned.

Adam.M_2

Dear All,


Apologies but I don't know if this is the right place to make a post (having just joined the website), any help or advice you could provide to my query below would be greatly appreciated.


My ex-wife and I had our final Finance Hearing as part of our divorce last Friday (30th Dec) and the judge agreed a 50:50 split of our house. To me personally my share is worth approximately £120k. However, my wife was successful in gaining a mesher order meaning she can stay in the house for up to another 11 years up to the point our youngest son turns 18.


I am now left with a huge amount of money (to me anyway) tied up and cannot access it to put towards a new house. I have found a new house I wish to buy and can afford all of the repayments etc but cannot raise the £45k (10% deposit & stamp duty) or £67k (if including paying off all legal expenses etc) to start afresh.


I cannot be the only dad left in this position and was hoping some advice could be posted on how I can raise this sort of finance without putting a charge on the former matrimonial home as the courts would not allow it. I don't want to have to rent and waste money for another 11 years.


Thank you in advance.
Kind Regards,
A.

csgohan4

Adam.M wrote: »

Dear All,


Apologies but I don't know if this is the right place to make a post (having just joined the website), any help or advice you could provide to my query below would be greatly appreciated.


My ex-wife and I had our final Finance Hearing as part of our divorce last Friday (30th Dec) and the judge agreed a 50:50 split of our house. To me personally my share is worth approximately £120k. However, my wife was successful in gaining a mesher order meaning she can stay in the house for up to another 11 years up to the point our youngest son turns 18.


I am now left with a huge amount of money (to me anyway) tied up and cannot access it to put towards a new house. I have found a new house I wish to buy and can afford all of the repayments etc but cannot raise the £45k (10% deposit & stamp duty) or £67k (if including paying off all legal expenses etc) to start afresh.


I cannot be the only dad left in this position and was hoping some advice could be posted on how I can raise this sort of finance without putting a charge on the former matrimonial home as the courts would not allow it. I don't want to have to rent and waste money for another 11 years.


Thank you in advance.
Kind Regards,
A.

Please create your own thread as the OP has their own problem

NOVAMET21

Adam.M wrote: »

Dear All,


Apologies but I don't know if this is the right place to make a post (having just joined the website), any help or advice you could provide to my query below would be greatly appreciated.


My ex-wife and I had our final Finance Hearing as part of our divorce last Friday (30th Dec) and the judge agreed a 50:50 split of our house. To me personally my share is worth approximately £120k. However, my wife was successful in gaining a mesher order meaning she can stay in the house for up to another 11 years up to the point our youngest son turns 18.


I am now left with a huge amount of money (to me anyway) tied up and cannot access it to put towards a new house. I have found a new house I wish to buy and can afford all of the repayments etc but cannot raise the £45k (10% deposit & stamp duty) or £67k (if including paying off all legal expenses etc) to start afresh.


I cannot be the only dad left in this position and was hoping some advice could be posted on how I can raise this sort of finance without putting a charge on the former matrimonial home as the courts would not allow it. I don't want to have to rent and waste money for another 11 years.


Thank you in advance.
Kind Regards,
A.

Oh dear. Same issue as my friend. All I can say is good luck.

davemorton

Adam.M wrote: »

Dear All,
but cannot raise the £45k (10% deposit & stamp duty) ................................. I don't want to have to rent and waste money for another 11 years.


Thank you in advance.
Kind Regards,
A.

:rotfl: Erm.........buy a cheaper house! If you are looking at +£400k houses!