debt scared

nesser

I am feeling very low, my husband doesnt know about how much debt we have as i have tried to hide it, but it has now got to the point were i cant hide ive nowhere to hide and nowhere left to borrow from. Cant switch any more debt about has credit score bad. What can I do now ant ideas??

James240

Hiya :hello:

If you can post an SOA (Statement of Affairs) on here then the lovely people of this board may be able to suggest ways that will be able to help u

I also think the best thing to do is maybe thinking about telling ur partner as it would be a massive weight of your shoulders as well

James

cuddlymarm

Hi

Sorry to hear about how bad you are feeling:grouphug: Hugs from all of us here.

Have a cuppa and give yourself chance to think about why you haven't said anything to your OH. If you tell him you'll probably feel much better and you'll have someone to sort out the problem with.

I'm not an expert at this but there will soon be someone else along who can help you sort you out and in the meantime don't keep beating yourself up because theres a lot of people out here in the same boat.

Sometimes just sharing a problem can mean you find a solution that you hadn't thought of.

Lots of hugs

Cuddles:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

NoMoreDenial

Nesser,

I've been in debt for years (up to £30k at the moment),my partner of 6yrs didn't know!i got to breaking point only 2weeks ago and thought if i don't tell him and sort this out i'm gonna have a nervous breakdown. So i arranged a dmp 2 fridays ago when i was off work in the house alone,i spent all evening worrying about teling him then at 8am i wrote him a letter because i couldn't say the words,then left the house and went to his mother's coz she loves me,i was in a right state,thought i'd have a heart attack.He rang an hour later and was upset i'd lied rather than the debt.He took it so much better than i expected especiallyl because i'd already arranged a solution (fingers crossed my dmp goes well).I've never felt better!He hates debts and i truely thought he wouldn't want to stay with me,but he loves me and is glad all is in the open!At least i don't have to pretend to have money now and buy stuff on credit so he doesn't realise!nor do i need to worry about hiding the upcomng creditor phone calls when my dmp kicks in! I know a letter wasn't the best way ot find out but it worked for me!!:o

MissKJ

NoMoreDenial, I think you are very brave;)

come on Nesser, you have seen the threads, you know how much help you are going to get here, chin up, work it all out, and let us help you.

Welcome.

NoMoreDenial

Brave -that's one was of putting it - deperate is the one i'd use!
I was silly for getting to this point in the first place,but now i'm so glad that he knows!! 6yrs of lies is a lot,i haven't slept properly for years until this last week or so,though my DMP starts tomorrow so i'm up tonight coz i'm nervous.I aren't looking forward to my creditors finding out but i'll just have to keep positive!! It's only money in the end, i still have my bloke,my dog & a decent job so what more do i need!!:rotfl:

HannahandMark

My wife and I were in financial denial since we got together 7 years ago (been married 4 years now) and didn't talk about money or debt. 6 months ago both our finances got to critical. We finally sat down and talked about it, worked out what we owed on credit cards, store cards, finance and loans. Went to Northern Rock, who we have our mortgage with, and got a fixed rate loan for ten years to consolidate the lot. Now bank online and check our accounts every day and have money spare at the end of every month. JUST TALK.

Best of luck

In_Search_Of_Me

Big hug for you! Lots of people have come on here & said the same & all say that they feel 100% better when they fess up and tackle things as a couple...nothing worse than secrets and it sounds as if you really need to tell him, to get support for you if nothing else...post your SOA, sort your budgets & go for it! Debts are usually (with the odd exception usually caused by gambling!) jointly run up so in many ways you are both responsbile even if he doesent know about it! Keep us updated!

MissKJ

Here here HannahandMark!!

I still think you brave NoMoreDenial, and I won't be swayed!!!!! It is such a hard thing to talk about when you aren't used to doing it.

MissKJ

Fishface-69 I have never gambled in my life, save for the odd lottery ticket, and I mean odd. Does that make me odd?
Wouldn't have a clue how to fill out a betting slip! Just good living in our case, but it has been fun spending it. Not meant to say that am i?

HannahandMark

You are right about the husband being part of the problem. Since Hannah can now keep an eye on the banking online I am more careful with the plastic. I don't even notice the difference in my pocket anymore, just think before I buy.

Also joined St John Ambulance to keep me occupied! So everyone benefits. lol

Keep happy you all