Help me be debt free

emmie

Have got into a pickle and not sure of best way out

DH and I are arguing all the time because of the stress of debt and raising a young family too. He doesn't want me to post a SOA on here, but we are both unsure of answers, so hopefully you can read between the lines.

Basically our outgoings exceed our incomings ! On top of that we have loan for house extension and car loan. We decided in the summer to put our house on the market to release the equity which would pay off loans. Neither DH or myself really wanted to do this as we are happy here and our children attend the local school, so moving house would be an upheavel for them too.

During the time the house was on the market, I managed to secure a part time evening job, so when DH gets home from work, I go to work. This enables us not to have to pay any childcare (we have 5yo and nearly 4yo twins !) We also have taken in a foreign student who is over here studing at nearby college. To enable us to this, all three kids are sharing one room. So, as income has increased, we decided to take house back off market.

But the stress/tiredness of trying to raise a young family, run a home and hold down two jobs (well three if you include all the Ebaying we are doing as well) is really getting to me, and I wonder if it is all worth it.

We have stretched ourselves on our mortgage, only one lender will lend to us based on DH's salary, and it is an interest only mortgage so not paying off any capital. This coupled with the fact that we have two medium sized loans (extension £15k over 10 years and car £8k over 5 years) has meant things have started to escalate us into debt. We applied for consolidation loan, but lender turned us down due to affordibility. We faced up to it over the summer, and Mum has lent us £6k which has got our account back in the black.

I am trying to cut back on everything we spend on, have been studying this site for months. Am trying to convert us to old style cooking. But I can't find the time to do everything. Cook more, go to post office with ebay parcels, look after children, clean, go to work, look after student (she is 19, but still needs a certain amount of looking after) etc etc

To add to our problems, my job is only on a temporary contract until Christmas, so could come to an end. Team leader has hinted that it should be made permanent, but can't say 100% (company I work for has just been taken over, so everything upside down)

Plus the company DH works for is cutting back (Government run company and millions in the red) so we have the possibility that his overtime may be cut and he may have to fund a car to get to work (currently uses work car). DH has looked at a new job, but unsure as to what he can do, he has a niche job and needs to earn the same if not more to keep us afloat.

We are both taking our stress out on the kids, which isn't good. They are young, noisy and prone to waking up early which is increased as they share a room.

Am really fed up with the whole situation, and not sure which way to go next....

Snaggles

If you're not in a position to post an soa yet, you are still welcome here for a bit of support and a rant if you need one.

What I would say is, write out your soa, even if you have no intention of posting it. Then sit there and go through every item, one by one, and think carefully about whether you need it, whether it can be reduced, etc.

A spending diary is also a good idea if you need to keep a track on where the extra payments are going.

Re the children and your working hours - if you worked during the day, would you be entitled to tax credits? Just thinking they might cover a lot of the childcare costs, enabling you to work more hours/more 'normal' hours, giving you more time as a family, and maybe making things a bit less stressful.

Entitledto.com is a good site for playing around with some figures, to get an idea of whether or not it would be worth it.