Help me be debt free

emmie

Have got into a pickle and not sure of best way out

DH and I are arguing all the time because of the stress of debt and raising a young family too. He doesn't want me to post a SOA on here, but we are both unsure of answers, so hopefully you can read between the lines.

Basically our outgoings exceed our incomings ! On top of that we have loan for house extension and car loan. We decided in the summer to put our house on the market to release the equity which would pay off loans. Neither DH or myself really wanted to do this as we are happy here and our children attend the local school, so moving house would be an upheavel for them too.

During the time the house was on the market, I managed to secure a part time evening job, so when DH gets home from work, I go to work. This enables us not to have to pay any childcare (we have 5yo and nearly 4yo twins !) We also have taken in a foreign student who is over here studing at nearby college. To enable us to this, all three kids are sharing one room. So, as income has increased, we decided to take house back off market.

But the stress/tiredness of trying to raise a young family, run a home and hold down two jobs (well three if you include all the Ebaying we are doing as well) is really getting to me, and I wonder if it is all worth it.

We have stretched ourselves on our mortgage, only one lender will lend to us based on DH's salary, and it is an interest only mortgage so not paying off any capital. This coupled with the fact that we have two medium sized loans (extension £15k over 10 years and car £8k over 5 years) has meant things have started to escalate us into debt. We applied for consolidation loan, but lender turned us down due to affordibility. We faced up to it over the summer, and Mum has lent us £6k which has got our account back in the black.

I am trying to cut back on everything we spend on, have been studying this site for months. Am trying to convert us to old style cooking. But I can't find the time to do everything. Cook more, go to post office with ebay parcels, look after children, clean, go to work, look after student (she is 19, but still needs a certain amount of looking after) etc etc

To add to our problems, my job is only on a temporary contract until Christmas, so could come to an end. Team leader has hinted that it should be made permanent, but can't say 100% (company I work for has just been taken over, so everything upside down)

Plus the company DH works for is cutting back (Government run company and millions in the red) so we have the possibility that his overtime may be cut and he may have to fund a car to get to work (currently uses work car). DH has looked at a new job, but unsure as to what he can do, he has a niche job and needs to earn the same if not more to keep us afloat.

We are both taking our stress out on the kids, which isn't good. They are young, noisy and prone to waking up early which is increased as they share a room.

Am really fed up with the whole situation, and not sure which way to go next....

rayday2

Why dont you post your incomings and outgoings see if we can help.

As for all the above I can see where you are coming from and if you post your details then hopefully we can get you and hubby seeing solutions rather than problems and some harmony restored - as much as you can realistically get with children lol!

I promise there is always a solution you just sometimes need fresh eyes to see it!

jo1972

I've also got 3 kids, work full time, do 3 other sideline jobs to get along, plus DH works full time shiftwork - so know exactly where you're coming from.

Why does your OH not want you to put your SOA up? You are anonymous so no-one need know who you are. It would be really helpful to see what is going in and out so that people on here can make suggestions on where to go next.

I personally think you sound a little like me, worn out. I think you need some 'me time'........(she says, I've still not found a way to get mine :rolleyes:)

I hope you get loads of good advice and I look forward to watching your progress

Jo.x

trying-very-trying

I can only agree with above.
Pop up your full state of affairs, and just watch the advice flood in.
I do understand your hubby being reluctant for you to do that, my husband would never have agreed to me doing that, but then he didn't agree that we had a problem.

emmie

Forgot to mention in original post, only light at end of tunnel is when the envitable happens to my Gran I will get some money (about two-thirds of the estimated amount I will receive would pay off loans and maybe some off the mortgage, but would leave us nothing for kids future, unless we don't use it for mortgage)