Staying Motivated & Small Steps, I'd love some advice please!

Kawaii_Corgi

Thanks both! Your advice and stories are very helpful steveoz. And I'm going to do my best to stick around and participate! (even got my shiny 10 posts badge ) haha.

Smodlet

steveoz wrote: »

There's a fine balancing act between living life and having fun, and wasting money. In more recent years I have also found that no manner of material possessions will fill a void in one's self if it exists, it needs fixing from the inside out not trying to be patched up the other way around.
Kindest.

Exactly this.

Has anyone read "Scruples" by Judith Krantz? The central character, Wilhelmina, "Billie" starts out as a fat child/teenager, using food to fill the void in her life caused by lack of love and attention. At eighteen, she moves to France and, through various means, loses all the weight and becomes a beautiful, young woman. Then she finds love, loses it and, now rich, fills the void she used to fill with food, with designer clothes. The whole point being, no amount of food or material possessions can compensate for a lack in oneself, or in one's soul.

I am not intending to imply any such lack in any poster here, merely to elaborate on steveoz's very well made point. Real friends do not need or want you to "keep up" with them. Things will not set you free; taking control of your own life will.

Doing things for other people, maybe just spending time with them, listening to them are all far more valuable than any material thing you could buy them, and they will remember for far longer what you did, how great the time you spent with them was than they would some disposable object.

I wish you the very best with your journey.

Kawaii_Corgi

Thank you Smodlet! I realised those particular 'friends' were in fact not actual friends by my last year of Uni; and don't talk to them any more. They weren't actually interested in me (and in fact told me I was stupid for liking video games and comics), just in having a extra person to go out on the town or go shopping with; which isn't even my thing!

Now I've grown up a bit I would fully stand up to those kinds of people, but 19-year-old me was far more willing to go along with whatever to actually *have* friends. I'm sure everything looks clearer in hindsight though!

Thank you for the well wishes too!

Smodlet

There you go. You are already a much stronger, wiser person now and really, who has much of a clue at nineteen? Unless they are Alan Sugar or Bill Gates, of course, and would you actually want to be around either of those two?

Perhaps one way to maintain your motivation is to tell yourself, as often as you need to, that you are in control; not the banks/credit card companies/advertisers/false friends/whoever; you. You can choose whether to buy that thing you don't actually need or to put that money towards your next debt repayment. "Every journey begins with the first step" (Confucius, I think) That £10 or £20 (or £50, or £100) is another step towards the light; towards becoming debt-free. Free from the panic attacks, the worry, the self reproach.

It's like giving up smoking, in a way, though I'm sure you are far too smart ever to have taken it up in the first place; you are not giving up anything but you do not realise that until you have done it. You are gaining freedom from hacking coughs, clogged-up lungs, getting out of breath when you run upstairs or try to sing more than two lines without gasping like a landed fish

I'm getting out of the pulpit now and leaving you in peace, Kawaii but please don't give up. You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you and you don't want to spend the time until you retire making legalised loan sharks rich, do you?

Smodlet gone.

tealady

Hi
If you post your SOA (sticky at the top) then the clever peeps on here could have a look to see if you could squeeze the budget further.
However here is my two pennyworth (apologies if none are relevant)
1. If you smoke pack it in (I'm an ex BTW)
2. Gym, what do you use it for? Can you just go to set sessions or do free stuff like jogging
3. Mobiles. Check you are on the cheapest tariff
4. Never leave stuff on standby, switch stuff off when not in use.
5. Could you do a blance transfer to a 0% card to give you a bit of breathing space
6. Agree to exchange cards only this Christmas (just tell people you are saving up for something)
7.Dig out everything you no longer use or want and fleabay, car boot or even "regift" as appropriate.

HTH good luck

Kawaii_Corgi

Hi tealady,

I will definitely look into the SOA! another perspective would be helpful I'm sure.

I don't smoke thankfully, so that's one less expense. I also don't drink as a personal choice (It just makes me sleepy, not happy )

The Gym was suggested by my doctor/physio. I was in a four-car pile up on the motorway at the beginning of this year, and ended up with horrible whiplash and now chronic neck pain. The idea was to still get the exercise with very little impact e.g. pilates and exercise bikes. However it's gotten worse and I can't even manage that at the moment. So Gym is going on a free 'medical' holiday to be cancelled at end of contract

Mobile definitely needs to change when I get to the end of my contract! and we're pretty good at leaving stuff off rather than on standby though our electric costs are AWFUL thanks to a ridiculous pre-pay meter that apparently we aren't allowed to change.

Unfortunately my credit rating is rubbish and I have quite a few CCs so I think a 0% one is out of the question having researched! I did look into loans but apparently because I have too many debts (rather than too much?) I wouldn't be approved. I don't know if it's worth looking at when I've paid some off.

Though I don't think I could get away with a 'free' Christmas we're doing it much cheaper this year! I've gotten all the ingredients to make some lovely homemade soaps. It will stretch to 10 people and everything cost £25 so not bad

eBaying is underway! I've made £150 so far.

Thank you tea lady!

tealady

Hi sounds as if you are doing well. Just don't forget to "snowball" your debts. That means paying minimum to all ex ept the one with the highest interest rate. That one you throw every penny at till it is gone. Repeat with next highest interest rate debt. I think there may be a calculator somewhere that shows how much you could save in interest.
HTH

Kawaii_Corgi

Okay so here is my SOA! I'm not sure on percentages but unfortunately I think most are in their 30s.. I need to confirm though. I don't pay minimum payments on anything so I put what I'm actually paying, though it does occur to me that maybe I should be paying one over another? Maybe paying off a small card or account would give me a boost?

I'll also pop it in the top if anyone has any advice

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1460
Partners monthly income after tax....... 900 (his contribution)
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2360

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 178
Rent.................................... 390
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 101
Electricity............................. 80 (prepay meter we can't change)
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 30
Telephone (land line)................... 17
Mobile phone............................ 55 (:( awful i know, needs to be reduced)
TV Licence.............................. 0 (we use our tv exclusively for gaming)
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 18
Groceries etc. ......................... 140
Clothing................................ 20
Petrol/diesel........................... 60 (my smart car does 50-60 mpg to work and back which is 10 miles)
Road tax................................ 0 (no road tax on smart cars!)
Car Insurance........................... 62 (went up £30 after car accident - they crashed into me! )
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20 (£20 for service payments, new car so MOT free)
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 30 (counselling; she's already put me on her lower rate used to be £45!)
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 9
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 15 (for xmas and birthdays over the year)
Haircuts................................ 0 (I get this free by helping lovely hairdresser friend with her social media)
Entertainment........................... 40
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 10 (emergency fund for flat e.g. if we go over on electric)
Gym..................................... 50 (to be cancelled)
Savings (for emergency)................. 50 (£1000 challenge!)
Software................................ 12 (YNAB and adobe CC)
Total monthly expenses.................. 1367


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 7000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 7000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 0........(0)........0
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 10000....(178)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 10000.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Argos Card.....................583.......22........0
HSBC CC........................5346......140.......0
Barclaycard....................4863......140.......0
HSBC Overdraft.................1700......25........0
Next...........................654.......40........0
PayPal Credit..................584.......32........0
Simply Be......................2758......145.......0
Very...........................4188......150.......0
Cap1...........................714.......40........0
AQUA...........................3764......200.......0
Total unsecured debts..........25154.....934.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,360
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,387
Available for debt repayments........... 973
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 934
Amount left after debt repayments....... 39

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 7,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -10,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -25,154
Net Assets.............................. -28,154

Kawaii_Corgi

tea lady I think our posts crossed over, yes that was one of my questions as I've been paying OVER minimum on everything. I was thinking it might be psychologically better to pay off one of the smaller amounts (I can't wait to cut up that Cap 1 card!) but I don't think that's the highest interest

-taff

For the car insurance, have you shopped around yet? Mine went up to a whopping 840 this year, went on MS.com got it reduced to 136 for the year...