Stay for Mat Pay or quit and get MA help please!!

lilsweetie

Hi all

I have a partner and a 3 year old DS. We currently rent our home, and for over a year, my and my partner decided we wanted to get a mortgage and then think about having one more baby. My partner has a good stable job, not the best money in the world, but we are frugal and get by, always having some savings at the end of the month....i decided it would look better if i worked aswell, i until that point had stayed home with our DS and studied part time.
I took up part time work in a well known supermarket, my career has always been civil service/admin, so i wasn't really thrilled at this, however, they offered hours around my DS and around my college course (accounting) so i jumped at the chance.

I quickly learned how appaling they treat their staff, and i have been very shocked at the way I and other colleagues have been treated and spoken to, they treat new people like dogs, and throughout my 12 months there now have watched people go off sick, leave, quit, because the way the managers somehow think they are holy grail and that we all should owe our lives to this company.

We have searched and searched for houses, and apart from one, we have had no joy whatsoever, we are looking every single day, i want my DS to go the school i went to so am only looking a few miles out of the area as i dont want to loose his place. Also my mum isn't in best of health, recently having surgery and we lost my nan at beginning of the year so i dont want to leave her.

I got so fed up i applied for the civil service to try and leave this supermarket, i got an interview, but before attending i have found out that i am pregnant, absolutly thrilled of course, but i felt it wasn't the right time to get back into civil service knowing how much training would be put into me and then to have to leave in 7 months time i don't want to leave a bad impression or effect anything so decided to go back into that once my second child was born, i dont know maybe im just a soft touch, i just didn't want to start the job knowing im pregnant already.

My problem is, my current job is getting harder and harder to go to, granted i only work 3 days a week, but my stomach is in knots everytime i park up outside, the managers are constantly watching and nit picking, my best friend who we both stuck together like glue has just left and im finding it so hard to keep going.

With xmas coming up, i feel sick, last year i was told because i was new i HAD to do every shift they had, so i worked every single day of the week before xmas, until midnight, 2am, (i told at interview i could only work until 8pm at the latest) i worked xmas eve, boxing day, new years eve, new years day, and then found out that NO ONE did all of those days apart from me! 5 other people started same day as me, one of them did no extra days at all!!

I know for a fact, i will never for a minute return when i have my baby, but my problem is, i desperately want to leave, i earn the same amount as i would get for maternity allowance, the only sad things is if a perfect house cropped up once i had left.

Its still very early days in my pregnancy, i have miscarried before, so its always in the back of my mind to relax and stay as stress free as possible. My partner has just put his name forward for a promotion which his managers have been pushing him to do for a while, so our fingers are tightly crossed he gets the job, as i told him, managers do not call you into the office often to try get you to go higher, they obviously think hes the right person.

I just dont know what to do. None of the staff at my work place are happy, and only last week one lady said to me 'you never get these years back with your children, they better not make you work all christmas again' (they dont know im pregnant yet).
My nan died whilst i was at work, so i left an hour before my shift ended, and had pay deducted for doing so, my mum was sat in the care home alone with my nan, so i went to be with her, i returned on my next shift as no one told me anything, yet someone else's grandad died and had three weeks off. since then i have never had respect for this company.


Any advice? x

Person_one

Definitely quit, I've no idea why you haven't already! Hand your notice in today and if I were you I'd probably go off sick at the same time so you don't have to do another shift with 'your stomach in knots'. Your reference from there isn't going to matter much when you are looking to get back into the civil service in 5 years or so.

With the mortgage, if you aren't planning to work after the baby is born anyway its better to only borrow based on your partner's income anyway, you don't want to overstretch.

pinkshoes

I'd definitely quit! Life is far too short...

(This is coming from someone who works part time but earns NOTHING due to child care costs, but I genuinely enjoy working.)

YouAsked

I'm quite pragmatic (miserable!) and I would also consider things like - death in service benefits and how much cover you lose if you're not working. Basically, don't just compare the wage you're losing - consider if there's anything else you need to factor in too.

This bit interests me:
With xmas coming up, i feel sick, last year i was told because i was new i HAD to do every shift they had, so i worked every single day of the week before xmas, until midnight, 2am, (i told at interview i could only work until 8pm at the latest) i worked xmas eve, boxing day, new years eve, new years day, and then found out that NO ONE did all of those days apart from me! 5 other people started same day as me, one of them did no extra days at all!!

Quite frankly, I'd get in now and say to my manager something along the lines of "I'm in the very early stages of pregnancy and don't want many people to know yet, but I know you will be doing rotas for Christmas soon. As you know, I worked every shift last year, until 2am. I'm hoping that these things are shared equally and I won't have to do that this year, especially with my history of miscarriages".

Because, I think if YOU were the ONLY person who had to work all those shifts out of the five who started then this seems to be bad planning rather than deliberate - OR the other people gave better reasons, earlier, as to why they couldn't do it. So you jump in first - and lay on how much you did last year.

I know a lot of people don't like declaring pregnancy early but (sorry, the pragmatic part of me again) if you DID miscarry, you'd need to tell your manager then anyway, so why not tell them early and see if you can avoid some of the stress?

PS meant to say, in your position, if I definitely wasn't going back then I'd quit, but just make sure you've considered everything - life assurance etc

Also the VERY pessimistic/pragmatic part of me notes that you have said partner rather than husband. Again, before giving up your own income, you need to know you would be provided for if you split up or he dies. It might seem the most unlikley thing ever that you would split up, but it happens - even to "perfect" couples. Your name needs to be on the house.