Life Begins at ... 35?

Tete_en_l'Air

Good morning, been MIA for a little while. Was super busy last week preparing for my weekend in London as well as having various other commitments (and my gran's dog got really poorly and had to be put to sleep, so we were back and forth to the vets and then I was subsequently back and forth to see check on her - she's doing remarkably well). I realised at midnight on Thursday that even if I crocheted like a demon all through the night I would not finish the blasted Hogwarts scarves, which was disappointing but the girls suggested I finish them for when we get tickets for the Cursed Child at some point in the distant future.

Weekend was ace - it was our second time at the HP studios but they've added so much since we were last there and with it all being decked out for Christmas it was far from boring. Went to see Fantastic Beasts at the Imax that evening but I'm sad to say I was so tired and uncomfortable (my contacts lenses and feet were killing me and I have really long legs so couldn't get comfortable, plus the 3D was giving me a headache) that I didn't enjoy it much. Definitely fancy seeing it again in a larger cinema and perhaps in 2D!

Now that that weekend's over I'm starting to think about getting organised for Christmas - making card and present lists, etc. I have my final Spanish class tonight and it will be such a relief to be finished as I can feel them hanging over me constantly.

I'm starting to put together a to do list for the week but today I need to concentrate on running committee stuff and my Spanish lesson, and maybe a food shop if I can fit one in - it's like Old Mother Hubbard's here.

Bobarella

Awwww sorry to hear about your grans dog, always sad to see a pet go. Your Gran is very fortunate to have such a supportive GD as well to help her.

ZTD

MrsTinks wrote: »

I think hygge is not far of the old "have a cuppa" thing... sitting down over a cuppa in a kitchen would be "hyggeligt" 😊

Hygge is rather better than the German Gemutlichkeit (u with umlauts) - snappy!

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

Went to see Fantastic Beasts at the Imax that evening but I'm sad to say I was so tired and uncomfortable (my contacts lenses and feet were killing me and I have really long legs so couldn't get comfortable, plus the 3D was giving me a headache) that I didn't enjoy it much. Definitely fancy seeing it again in a larger cinema and perhaps in 2D!

Does that mean the story was decent, even if the experience was poor?

archersluck

I was wondering I'd be missing out if I see Fantastic beast in 2D, glad to hear not!

Glad your gran is ok x

Tete_en_l'Air

Hello, I'm still here, still ploughing away trying to sort the house out. I keep telling myself it has to get worse before it gets better but I'm teetering on the edge of Hoarder Next Door territory here.

I went up in the loft yesterday for the Christmas decs and, as I'd half-suspected, there was a dead starling :eek: Luckily it didn't seem to have been there long and was in no way gross but it still took me a long time to psyche myself up to remove it. I was shaking and sweating into my marigolds! So I now need to add "find someone to block up hole in roof" to my ever expanding to do list.

The tree is up and looks lovely, and I've had a bit of a purge of my decs - just deciding whether they're nice enough to send to charity or should just be binned.

Currently waiting for charity to come and collect seven pieces of furniture - the last of the big things I'm getting rid of. Once they're gone I can get my new (to me) coffee table, etc. down from upstairs and the living room with be habitable again. I've been doing a lot in there: hanging pictures and curtains and so on, so it's really starting to look how I want it. Just got the dreaded fireplace to paint and the shelves to put up.

This will also free up some space in the spare room which is a bit of a health hazard at the mo. Such a lot of stuff to sort through up there, but I'm going to try to confine the chaos to that room from now on.

While I was in the loft I also brought down some of my own kitchen stuff from when I had my own place, so a big sort out is needed in there as I have a lot of duplicates now. I'm trying to empty the loft as much as possible, because I figure if it's up there it's not getting used, in which case what's the point of keeping it?

So today is all about spring cleaning and getting downstairs looking ... not even 'nice', just a normal level of tidy!! Then I can start on my Christmas to do list.

I'm very aware that I've lapsed a little on the 'bigger picture' goals I set out in my first post (especially the job hunt and diet, though I do have enough work to get by until the end of Feb and am maintaining my weight), but once I feel a bit less chaotic in home and mind hopefully I can refocus on those then.

... And since I started writing this post I've been given an extra day's work in January and the men have come to take the furniture away, which is wonderful as I feel I can never really get into anything else while waiting around for people. Audiobook at the ready, bring on the spring cleaning!!!

Bobarella

That's good about the extra work Tete!

beanielou

Hello!
How are things?

Tete_en_l'Air

Well I have been 35 for almost five weeks now and looking back at my goals I am nowhere near where I wanted to be. I don't know what happened - I got some more teaching work in, enough to pay the bills, and sort of lost focus. When I started this diary there was nothing on the horizon at all and that gave me some urgency.

The teaching work has dwindled down to the point of half a day a week this half term, which when you think about it is a bit of an insult - do they expect me to live off that? After speaking with a friend though I took it, as at least it means my NI is being paid and it's more than I'd get with JSA for a lot less hassle.

I've just been asked for availability for after Easter though and I'm thinking of saying not available and looking for temp work instead. Apart from anything the teaching is boring me a bit now and it's a lonely life when half you time you're at home alone and the other half you work with kids and no regular adult colleagues who you can talk about last night's Corrie with. I long not to have to bring work home with me, minimal as it is, and I think that knowing all my free time will be coming to an end soon would help to focus me and I might actually get some jobs done in the house.

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

My current situation is this:

- I live alone with my cat in the house I grew up in, which I own outright (so that’s one stress I don’t have - whatever happens I have a roof over my head!).

- Both my parents have died and I'm an only child. My elderly and increasingly infirm granny lives nearby and depends on me a lot, but I try to limit how much I do for her for my own sanity (I feel awful saying that but it's true).

- I have a decent amount of savings but these are rapidly being depleted (so I hope I’m welcome on the DFW board - I’ve always found it the friendliest, and I am aiming to *stay* debt-free).

- The only job I have is one Spanish evening class a week, which far from pays the bills and I don’t really want to keep long term as the preparation time needed is more than the pay is worth. But it’s a little bit of pocket money for now.

- I put on three stone while teaching and am still trying to lose it. Unfortunately I eat when I’m stressed, so…

- I have now been single for six years. I’ve had a few internet dates but nothing that didn’t make me want to enlist in a nunnery.


So, here I am. And this is my mission:

Get a grip on my finances -
What are my outgoings? What can I cut out? Limit my spending radically and keep a spending diary.

The only real progress I've made here is cancelling the sports channels and changing my gas/elec supplier. I didn't go for the very cheapest but I did go for a renewable one which has a fixed price and I did it from a friend's referral code so we both got £50.

Find a job -
Any job, even a temp job for now.

Detailed above. I'm currently working one afternoon a week on my literacy teaching and one evening a week on Spanish, but the actual work involved amounts to a lot more than that, while the pay isn't enough to sustain me.

I did go for an interview for a full time job I applied for, and the feedback was that I was "appointable, but someone else was more appointable" which is the most infuriating and pointless feedback you can get. Apparently I could have spoken about and sold myself better, but I find that so so hard - I really hate all the kind of b*ll*cky language you have to use when applying for a job when all you want to say is "I'm really hard working and reliable and a quick learner, please give me a chance!" I always think the people who can "talk the talk" are the least able in their actual jobs anyway.

Lose weight and improve my fitness -
I’ve been following Slimming World with varied success, and I recently paid upfront for a year’s leisure centre membership so I will be re-engaging with both of those.

I restarted SW properly in the new year and had lost 11lbs as of last Friday but have had a very bad week this week (the realisation of not having a job has kicked in and I've been feeling borderline depressed all week, hence me showing my face back here and trying to get my thoughts in order), so we shall see what tomorrow brings on the scales.

I've been attending yoga religiously and running more but still having issues with a hip/leg injury and have not yet gone back to the leisure centre.

Deep clean the house -
I recently bought Kim and Aggie’s book in a charity shop and it really inspired me. My house is a hovel.

I wouldn't say it's deeply clean but most of the time it's passable, it's just generally untidy and mostly it's all my teaching resources and paperwork - another reason why I want a full time job that is fully contained in the office!

Declutter and get organised -
I still have loads of teaching paperwork and Dad’s paperwork, plus my laptop files are in disarray and I have 2000+ photos clogging up my phone. I do Kondo in fits and starts so I need to gain some more momentum with this.

No progress here.

Decorate the house -
My bedroom is almost finished and I have everything I need for downstairs, I just need to roll my sleeves up.

Some good progress here, but I have three rooms *almost* finished which is a bit infuriating. The things I still need to do are things that I'm frightened to try because I'm not sure what I'm doing. I want to make a blind for the kitchen window, which should be fine as I can sew dresses so should be able to sew in a straight line for that; I want to put up shelves in the living room but that will involve drilling; and I want to put up some heavy antique mirrors in the bedroom but again that will mean drilling.

The living room shelves will be a big turning point because once they're up I can clear a lot of clutter from the spare room and will then have room to set up a workspace in there meaning that all the carp from the dining table can be cleared away and organised. It's like one of those children's tile puzzles - one thing has to be done before I can move stuff into that space, and so on.

Be proactive about my love life -
Yeah. This is the lowest priority at the moment.

My complete lack of love life is laughable. I actually feel invisible to the opposite sex at this stage. I do feel lonely and can see the years speeding by and I know I need to do something concrete about it but it just seems to fall to the bottom of the list all the time.

So that's me back. I'm going to grab a shower and pop back shortly with a list of to dos for the day.

beanielou

Good to see you back in diaryland :wave:

poddle911

Hello lovely :wave:

I'm absolutely with you on the job interviews - what useless feedback! I know I give a terrible interview, it's so frustrating. It doesn't like sound temping would be the worst idea. I'm assuming your outgoings are pretty low, so would it be feasible to temp a couple of days a week and then dedicate one or two days (guilt-free) to a hobby, volunteer role or 'passion project' to get some work/life balance?