Fellow Worker Issue

h_and_p_uk

Missus_Hyde wrote: »

Of course you could acquire a clown costume, wait until he leaves work, jump out on him and scare the !!!! out of him. Then when he complains, suggest that he's the one being miserable, as you found it hilarious!!:rotfl:

The temptation is there, believe me.

YouAsked

In some ways it is difficult being the same gender as I imagine there's an expecation of blokey banter (I'm picturing Finchy from the Office!) and it's natural to want to just fit in and match the culture of a team rather than to say "hold on, you're acting like an idiot, leave me alone" .

That said, he IS acting like an idiot and I'd have to tell him to stop in no uncertain terms.

OK if you're reluctant to put in a complaint, you're going to need to think of how to handle it yourself. Does he play off getting a reaction? If so, might a quiet tut/eye roll be more effective than you losing your rag? Are you good at giving contemptuous looks - like the look I gave someone the other day for littering (then they pretended they'd dropped it accidentally) - and saying nothing? Or is he a bit of a coward really and you saying a loud firm voice "DON'T do that again" will make him realise?

ThemeOne

Do you have team meetings? If so, bring it up then.

Or ask for a private meeting with your line manager, and see how he/she responds then - in the more serious atmosphere of a team or one-on-one meeting they might feel forced to take it more seriously.

TELLIT01

Alternatively, next time he does it, grip him firmly by the throat until his eyes start to pop. Then tell him not to be so miserable, it's only a joke.

motorguy

I think you need to take him aside (again, if you have done so already) and firmly tell him that he needs to stop doing it. Tell him if it persists you're going to have to escalate it. Tell him you find it distracting and humiliating and that it needs to stop.


If that doesn't work, arrange a meeting with your manager and ask him to make it stop.


If that doesn't work, then arrange a meeting with HR.


Its not on, frankly.

FredG

Sounds like a right annoying little oik. Grab the nearest blunt instrument and use his genitals as a 'Whack-A-Mole' game.

TBagpuss

h_and_p_uk wrote: »

I've tried to tell him that I don't find it funny, and asked him to stop. He retaliated by saying I was being miserable. I'm finding it a strain as I'm actually very good at the job, but this is really bringing me down.

While I understand that there would be grievance procedures, I'm interested to know if there are any employment laws concerning workplace intimidation, as I really need to know where I stand.

I'd just respomd, absolutely deadpan "OK. You're welcome to think I'm miseraable, but I still want you to stop. I don't find it funny, I feel it is harassment, and if you shout at or assault me again I will be raising a formal grievance"

Then e-mail your line manager stating that you have today spoken to [name] for the 2nd (or third, or however often it is) time to ask that he stop shouting at you and poking you, as you find it disruptive and uncomfortable, and that while you are not raising it as a formal grievance today, you want line manager to be aware of the situation as if [name] is not prepares to stop you will have no alternative than to raise a formal greiavance.

I'd suggest that you have a look at the employee handbook. See whether there is anything about bahviour - either in terms of behaving professionally or about bullying and harassment., and you can then reference that if necessary when speaking to your line manager.

Youm ay wish to speak to your line manager and then send the e-mail as a 'just to confirm our conversation...' (e-mail = papertrail should you need to raise a gievance - forward a copy to your own persoanl e-mail)

Helvetica_Van_Buren

Some of these retaliation suggestion are, quite frankly fvcking stupid.

1. Tell him not to touch you, make you jump or interact with you unless it's about work.
2. If it continues, raise it with your team leader.
3. If the team leader fails to resolve it, raise it with their superior or your HR department - if you have one.

And document everything you say.

Other than leave, or live with it, this is your only course of action. The behavior isn't appropriate and the law is on your side - it's as simple as that. You don't have to put up with it.

dickydonkin

Helvetica_Van_Buren wrote: »

Some of these retaliation suggestion are, quite frankly fvcking stupid.

Take a chill pill:)

Many of the more radical responses are also accompanied with practical suggestions.

lincroft1710

Couldn't poking be a form of same sex harassment?