Tough old weekend

rufus79

I spent this weekend with about 15 very good friends. I hadn't seen many of them for months, so it was nice to get away. However, I found it pretty tough in some ways.

Firstly, for various reasons I left it to late to get a reasonable train fare, so had to go by coach. I get travel sick, and going up wasn't too bad as I managed to sleep, but then felt rough all evening. Coming back as soon as I got off the coach at Victoria I had to run to the loo and threw up for 20mins solid (and pay 20p for the honour!!)

Secondly, most of these friends are reasonably well off, young prefessionals, married but without children, the sort who think nothing of spending a tenner on a bottle of wine as opposed to 3.99! When we first all met, most were students. One friend was very excited as she has just been given a 12k payrise - twice what I even earn at the moment!!!!! Where I have just got myself settled into my new job, and gone from temping paid weekly to perm paid monthly, I literally do not have 2 pennies to rub together! I was talking about all this with a couple of my friends, and theya re so lovely, offered help if necessary, etc, but I am waaaay to proud!

Thirdly, its amazing how often bankruptcy came up in conversation! Several of these friends are lawyers for big financial institutions, etc. Only one in the whole group knows Im bk, but tbh he was no help as he gave me sympathetic eye contact every time, which was worse than just listening to it. I could feel myself getting hotter and hotter and just wanting to cry.

Its silly really, I went through the court and OR malarky on my own fairly easily, and day to day life has barely changed. But there, having a great weekend with people who carea lot about me, was the worst I have felt sice 29th June 'B' Day.

wherediditallgo

Oh, sorry to hear about your weekend. I think it's always difficult the first time you have to interact with people who've obviously got more money coming in than you have, & a group situation like that would have been far worse than one-to-one. But look at this way - just because they've got more money coming in, it doesn't mean they're not in as much debt as you were, in fact their debts may be even higher. The more money you have the more you spend (I'm thinking back to my many payrises when I told myself I'd save the extra money, & never did :rolleyes:), & I suspect some of these high flyers have credit card bills that would make your eyes spin. Once you get used to a certain level of income, it's very hard to adjust to living on the basics, & the more you've had the harder the adjustment is. You've dealt with your debts in the way that you felt was most appropriate for you, & you can start afresh - some of your friends still have the harsh realities of debt to face, & they'll have the "keeping up with the Jones' " factor to deal with on top, by which time you'll be on the up again.

Things are already looking up for you, as you've gone from temp work which isn't reliable to a permanent job with the benefits (paid holidays, sick pay etc) included. They don't know your business (& don't need to know either), but you're good friends with them, & they'll value that when they hit financial difficulties. Don't compare yourself to them - you've turned your life around, & you're every bit as good as them regardless of the money you have to spend.