Need advise please

Matesy

Hi well here I go . My husband and I are in debt of 43,000 and cannot believe the state we r in. I feel totally embarrassed. I could look over if we lived a big lavish lifestyle or had brand new cars .

Just one thing after another we were silly with money. My husband is in a good job and we r able to pay our bills but have very little spare cash to play about with.

I don't work as I suffer from mental Heath. I am not a lazy person just unformately suffer really bad with anxiety. I am not wanting any sympathy but I near had a nervous breakdown last year over my
Marriage near falling apart and an incident happening with my daughter which to be honest nearly destroyed her mentally. Thankfully as a family we have got stronger and therefore I had booked a holiday to go to Florida which is a big part of our debt. I know
People will judge me but to be honest I would not take that back. I
Know it was pure madness but to help my family I would have done to anything. At the minute I just fee now we our stronger and together we can get through this. Please don't judge. At the minute we can pay our bills put don't have spare cash.
We have a loan for tescos. £389
Barclay 253.oo
Mbna. 91 22
Tesco. 150.00
The interest is very high on the Barclays and tesco but my husband applied for another loan to combine the Barclay Mbna and the Tesco
So payment were lower but he got turned down. The only thing I can think of we missed a payment by ones day as they took the money out early.
Please can anyone advise me . It would be very much appreciated I know it will be a long process but this is the first step thank u so much for reading x

Ilona

Hello Matesy. I see you were in a similar situation over four years ago, your debts seem to have escalated since then. You were advised to complete a Statement of Affairs which sets out all your incomings and outgoings, have you done this? With more information the good people on here will be able to help you with advice on how to proceed.

A good idea is to set up a spending diary where you write down every penny you spend then review it periodically to see where you might be able to cut down, to free up some money to pay off your debts.

The link you need is http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php for the SOA. Collect all your paperwork and fill out the figures as best you can. Don't worry, all debt problems can be solved, there are solutions, but first we need more information from you.

Ilona

Matesy

I know you r quite right I wish I had of done something but unfornately I didn't . How is people able to view your last posts .
I thought posts where private. I really want to get help and advise.

[Deleted User]

Is there any way you can cancel the holiday, and get some/most/all of the money back?

I'm assuming it's all paid for now, but what you pay for the actual holiday, is not the end of it.

There's also spending money, additional travelling expenses (around Florida, and maybe to and from airports), which could easily add a grand or more to the cost of the holiday.

The_Real_Cheddar_Bob

Everything you post on here is public to the world.

£9000 to £40000 in 4 years is an escalating debt of at least £9000 a year, this im sure you already know. It is important to identify what might be causing your spending to be at this level above your income.

How much was the holiday to Florida and have you had a family holiday each year since 2012?

I fully appreciate that a holiday can be considered essential form some, however you need to offset that against the cost of the debt and the stress it cause and as per the post above, the mindset of, "the holiday cost a lot, so while we are here we will enjoy it"

Much like someone borrowing at christmas for childrens presents.

-taff

I don't think a holiday to Florida is a big part of your 43000 debt.
I think it's possible that you're keeping your head in the sand a bit, due to your mental health, but asking for help here means people will give you advice on your current situation, where you can save money, and where you can make some money [ by selling old things etc]


Post your SOA here.


You will start to see where you are spending the extra money you don't have and hopefully start to unravel the mess you think you're in.

The_Real_Cheddar_Bob

-taff wrote: »

I don't think a holiday to Florida is a big part of your 43000 debt.

depends, if it costs £4000 then its almost 10%. If it cost more then that might be why the OP has mentioned it.

datlex

OP what is in the past is in the past. You cannot untake your holiday. You cannot undo whatever led to mental tensions for you and your daughter. You also cannot unspend money that has been spent (with the exception of items within their returnable period). So don't worry about what you cannot change. I am guessing you have enough anxiety without worrying about that. (You might find this book helpful- audio version is free https://www.amazon.co.uk/S-U-M-Shut-Move-Straight-Talking-Succeeding/dp/0857086227)

Posting a SOA helps but it only gives partial information. For example £160 on groceries doesn't tell what brands are bought.

Regarding the holiday to Florida, if you are able to cancel free of charge it might be worth seeing if another travel agent can beat the price to get the business.

Ilona

Matesy wrote: »

I know you r quite right I wish I had of done something but unfornately I didn't . How is people able to view your last posts .
I thought posts where private. I really want to get help and advise.

And you will get help and advice here, there are a lot of knowledgable people who can guide you through it. What's done is done, you can start today by looking on it as a fresh new start, and if you really want to make changes you need to have a look at your past spending to find out where you are going wrong so you don't make the same mistakes again. Have a look at the Statement of Affairs and start putting some figures down. Good luck.
Ilona

iolanthe07

I thought posts where(sic) private.

This is a public forum, so all the posts you make are here to view by anyone unless you delete them.

sourcrates

Matesy wrote: »

I thought posts where private. I really want to get help and advise.

IMPORTANT!
This is an open forum - anyone can post.
Please exercise caution & report any spam, illegal, offensive, racist, libellous posts & PMs to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com

Your posting history is recorded for anyone to check out at any time.

Post an SOA then we can get started solving your issues !!!