How do you manage to stress of debt?

jonnybeegood

Hi,

I am now well into my debt free journey. I have a budget and am able to make decent over payments towards my debt... but I still feel stressed and overwhelmed!!

I feel like it's on my mind 24/7. I am constantly thinking about money and payments etc.

How do others manage this? I just want to get to a point where I can relax a little.

greensalad

I think it's hard to relax with that stress hanging over your head. But the stress only fuels you to make sure you are not overspending and such. So really, take the stress and use it as a positive force to stop you spending when you shouldn't.

I do get tense on the run-up to payday as I don't feel like I'm making enough of an impact and can't wait to get paid so I can pay bills. I hate the 30 days of the month where I feel like I'm doing nothing.

changeforbetter

Yep, I've been up and down with stress over my debts for sure. I can only suggest that looking and focussing on the positives as a help. So, thinking about how much you've progressed or planned in your finances for example. That's what I try to do (not always 100% but some help for those negative feelings.

Muttipops

How about doing a debt or money management diary?
One way of stopping thinking about things all the time is to write it down and get it out of your head, otherwise your mind keeps going over and over things to remember them, but committing them to paper frees the mind up to a certain extent from that job.


Is your debt enormous or can you see light at the end of the tunnel?


I used to break things down into smaller chunks, i.e. look to end of year to see how much paid off instead of looking at the whole and how long it is to go or at least I did until I became bankrupt. That helped a lot, ( not the bankruptcy, but the breaking things down bit).


Exercise and keeping busy is also good; having nothing to do just frees your mind up to worry.

sourcrates

Wasn't that long ago that debt collectors used to ring up threatening all kinds of things, for example, an old favourite of mine was this one :


"we`ll send round the bailiffs and empty your house".


I used to take great pleasure informing them that unfortunately, they would have to go to the bother of taking me to court first, obtain a CCJ, and I would then have to default on those payments, in order for them to carry out there threat.


I really miss the good olde days, DCA`s are so polite now, very boring, I guess you guys don't have this trouble now do you.

DD265

For me, I only really stress about money if I don't feel like I have enough. So if I budget well, and don't overspend but still allow myself some freedom, I seem to manage.

That said, I'm not the best at living within my means so I have been worrying about money for most of the last 10 years.

cmcavon

I've found myself overwhelmed and stressed frequently but I try now to focus on the positives in my life. My Mum was taken ill earlier this year and is currently battling through it so I think that has given me some perspective.

I set a budget at the beginning of each month, working out what we have left over after bills for food, clothes, taking the kids out etc and set us a weekly amount. We went over this last week due to step-daughter's birthday and a few other things so I've had to re-calculate for the rest of the month. When I feel like I'm in control I tend to cope much better than when we're winging it.

dirtycredit

I hate the 30 days of the month where I feel like I'm doing nothing.

THIS! Me too..I'm climbing the walls all month until payday. I'm an impatient prat at the best of times! I go over and over my (non existent) budget about a hundred times a day see if I can over pay a bit more next payday rolls round or see if i can shave a month off my debt free date.

I'm nearly halfway through now so the stress is starting to ease. I'm fantasising about what I'll do with my spare grand a month and how much I could save in a year, 2 years, 3 years etc..It's the only thing keeping me sane(ish). :rotfl:

DC x
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Sanctioned_Parts_List

dirtycredit wrote: »

THIS! Me too..I'm climbing the walls all month until payday. I'm an impatient prat at the best of times! I go over and over my (non existent) budget about a hundred times a day see if I can over pay a bit more next payday rolls round or see if i can shave a month off my debt free date.

This used to be me. I started off constantly fiddling with forecasts and spreadsheets, trying to optimise everything and find "the perfect budget" that would allow me to pay everything off without living like a hermit. At the start of each month there'd be a little flurry of activity as I'd plug new numbers into yet another version of "the spreadsheet," and at the end of the month another flurry as I'd gaze forlornly upon my works and see that all that time and stress did not amount to a corresponding improvement in my financial situation.

Basically it was a waste of time.

How I manage everything now is definitely not the DFW way. I've tried to automate as much as possible - everything that can be settled by direct debit, is. Everything that can have paperless billing, does. I never check the bills*. Transactions that need to be made in person (groceries etc.) are made on credit card** - though note that card is paid in full by direct debit (see the first point).

And then further from the DFW way: I never budget, I never forecast, I never try to anticipate the future, I never beat myself up about the past. All I do is track expenses and try to keep them roughly the same.

It's like the DFW way, but with cruise control and lane assist :P


* Lies! Of course I check them, but only if they're 10% higher or lower than usual.
** Don't try this at home, unless and until you've also simplified and sorted your life out. We didn't even consider this approach until after we'd stripped back our material desires and started living a much quieter life with less "stuff" around us.

nkkingston

The DFW weekly posts can help with the feeling like you're doing nothing days. Log all the little achievements - the no spend days, the packed lunch days, the hanging the washing outside days, the splitting up your commute to walk more (and save petrol/bus money) days... In general, if you're feeling stressed, diarying at least two positive things daily can really help, even if they feel like tiny little things: an especially good cup of tea, running out of loo roll and finding the new one is within reach, sleeping on fresh sheets, the feel of grass underfoot...