Returning to work maternity leave

chantee

Hello I am new to these forums.

I am currently on maternity leave. I had my 3rd child 6 weeks ago. I discovered my husband was having an affair 2 weeks ago so I threw him out and now I need to return to work sooner as I don't have the income coming in with his wage anymore. Does anyone know if I could just go back to work?

Thank you

Takeaway_Addict

You need to give 8 weeks notice, your employer agree to a shorter period of time but they also may not.

https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/statutory-maternity-leave-returning-work

sangie595

His wage can't just walk, even if he has. He, presumably, has three children to support. Go and get some advice on your position, his obligations, and your benefits position. Just rushing back to work, laudable though it is that it is the first thing you thought of, isn't wise. Take a bit of time to process this and sort yourself out before you go back.

chantee

sangie595 wrote: »

His wage can't just walk, even if he has. He, presumably, has three children to support. Go and get some advice on your position, his obligations, and your benefits position. Just rushing back to work, laudable though it is that it is the first thing you thought of, isn't wise. Take a bit of time to process this and sort yourself out before you go back.

Thank you for your reply.

We have been together since we were 13 years old, 21 years altogether. I never thought he would do this to me ever. We grew up together and now he is acting like a child again refusing to give me any money. That is why I wanted to get back to work so I could get along by myself without his help. Financially I do need his help but he told our eldest who is 9 that until mum changes her mind and lets me move back in you aren't getting a penny from me and you can tell her that! She told me straightaway.

My mum did say that she would look after the baby for me if I was to go back to work straightaway. I did think of using my time on maternity to get myself straight emotionally.

Before I am told about telling my story to complete strangers, i choose this way because I don't want my family to know what a mess I am in.

sangie595

chantee wrote: »

Thank you for your reply.

We have been together since we were 13 years old, 21 years altogether. I never thought he would do this to me ever. We grew up together and now he is acting like a child again refusing to give me any money. That is why I wanted to get back to work so I could get along by myself without his help. Financially I do need his help but he told our eldest who is 9 that until mum changes her mind and lets me move back in you aren't getting a penny from me and you can tell her that! She told me straightaway.

My mum did say that she would look after the baby for me if I was to go back to work straightaway. I did think of using my time on maternity to get myself straight emotionally.

Before I am told about telling my story to complete strangers, i choose this way because I don't want my family to know what a mess I am in.

You tell your story to who you want and how you want. It's your story!

He can tell your nine year old what he wants - albeit that I think he is a craven coward for using a nine year old like this, and a unfit parent for attempting to use and manipulate his nine year old daughter for blackmail - but you will find that the authorities have a very different view of things and are able to force him to pay!

I quite understand that you want to get along without his help, but he has responsibilities. Why should you let him just walk out and keep all his money for himself? Your children will be better off with his contribution, a proud mother who makes her way in the world - and from the sound of it right now, without his attitude problems. So what if you threw him out and he doesn't like it - you didn't like him sleeping around.

You may indeed want to return to work earlier. But you can still make that decision in two weeks or three weeks, or whenever you like. Before that get the financial ball rolling. Get advice on making a claim against him, and look at the benefits side of it too. You may get working tax credits or other help now. None of this is about being dependant on him. It is about the fact that he was half of the decision to bring children into the world and to be responsible for them. You don't get to decide to give that up on a whim, whatever else may happen

TELLIT01

sangie595 wrote: »

you will find that the authorities have a very different view of things and are able to force him to pay!

The authorities may be able to force him to pay but whether they will or not is another matter. When her husband left my sister-in-law with 2 young children, he failed to pay a penny in maintenance. She told the authorities where he worked and his home address but she still never got a penny out of him.

sangie595

TELLIT01 wrote: »

The authorities may be able to force him to pay but whether they will or not is another matter. When her husband left my sister-in-law with 2 young children, he failed to pay a penny in maintenance. She told the authorities where he worked and his home address but she still never got a penny out of him.

That's really off. But I think it's more common that they can enforce payment, although I know that it's easier for self employed people to fiddle the system. Nevertheless, the OP should try for it - most people do get payments, and it's only right that a parent should contribute more than sperm to their children.

But I'm sure that children, as they grow, are able to make their own judgements about what a parent is worth to them. I doubt that little girl is going to forget that she's only worth paying for on his terms.

[Deleted User]

You should get on the phone to Tax Credits, you can deduct £100 per week from your earnings if you are on SMP, so you will probably get the maximum award.


Child Maintenance Option for help with child support.


Don't know if you rent or have a mortgage but council tax benefit via local council and housing benefit if renting.


You can do this!