Mother's debt

dippenhall1

Hi All,
Just looking for some advice. Sorry this may seem a long convoluted story!

My mother who is in her early 70s has I think about £25000 debt on credit cards, overdraft, loans. She has had debts like this for at least 30 years. She separated from my dad about 30 years ago and they never divorced. About 15 years ago she sold her house to pay off her debts and gave up work. She came to an agreement with my Dad & she moved in with him. They live in separate bedrooms etc.

In the passing 15 years she has run up more debts again. She has her old age pension plus a company pension of around £300 a month, she says she spends 85% paying towards her debts.

My Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer & to enjoy what's left he has taken equity release from his house and spends most of his time overseas (with the money). He has had to put my mother's name on the house deeds so that when he dies she wouldn't have to move out of the house if the equity company wanted their money.

My Mum has refused for 30 years to ever contact anyone about her debt. I think she wants access to credit so that she can live beyond her means. It has now got to the stage where she says she cannot afford food, and has lost about 2 stone in weight because of having to pay back her debts.

She still refuses to contact the banks & credit card companies or any debt charity. She says now she is technically a home owner it's even worse as out of the kindness of his heart my Dad has let her live in his house for 15 years, that if she approaches creditors or debt agencies they will want to take the house away because it is now also in her name and so she will inflict her debt onto him.

To be honest she is a hopeless case as I know she won't do anything, but now she has started not being able to afford food, it's getting serious.

Any advice for someone who won't be helped?

Thanks so much.

A

Muttipops

Hi,
Would she at least go to Citizens Advice? a) it doesn't sound like a debt charity, even though it gives debt advice and b) sounds like she needs advice about a few things.

sourcrates

Hi,

If she can't afford the payments, she should stop paying them.

Unsecured credit debts come last on the list of things to pay.

Start paying each creditor £1 a month, a letter to each one explaining the situation is all that's needed.
It's unlikley any further action would be taken by her creditors, you just have to go about things in the right way.

But from what you've said, all this is irrelevant if she refuses to do anything.
She has to want to do something about it, you may have to make her realise the situation cannot continue like it is.

fatbelly

Sourcrates is right - this is just non-priority debt.

What is she afraid might happen if she just gives each one £1 per month?

dippenhall1

Thanks for your replies. I think she's worried if she stops paying the amounts she does & offers less they will not allow her to put more money on the credit cards, which I'm sure is the case, but that's what has got her into this mess! And really she should be attempting to live within her means!

As you say frustrating though it is you can't force a person. We are going to try to give it another go, get her to speak to someone.

Thanks again

enthusiasticsaver

Will she let you manage her money and you take the cards away from her? What is she spending the money on?

sourcrates

dippenhall1 wrote: »

She still refuses to contact the banks & credit card companies or any debt charity. She says now she is technically a home owner it's even worse as out of the kindness of his heart my Dad has let her live in his house for 15 years, that if she approaches creditors or debt agencies they will want to take the house away because it is now also in her name and so she will inflict her debt onto him.
A

Debt does not transfer between people unless they are joint debts.

As things stand, she would not lose the house, as the house is jointly owned a creditor could only put a restriction on the future sale of the property, and they could only do that after obtaining a CCJ.

So a forced sale is not going to happen.

Also the minimum individual debt limit for a creditor to make you bankrupt is £5000, so if each seperate debt is less than £5000 they can't make her Bankrupcy either.

And it's only creditors that can take legal action, not debt charities, that's not what they do, they are there to help, I think she needs this explaining properly to her.