Struggling greatly at the moment :(

Toomuchdebt

I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia recently(in July) and am having trouble finding pain medication that I can tolerate. And with being in constant pain and so exhausted all the time I don't have the energy for anything. My garden is overgrowing. I can't cook dinner(I get the kids to do all the chopping while I supervise). I'm struggling with housework. I struggle to fall asleep and then I wake up 3 times a night needing the toilet. I'm 45 and my mum who is 69 has been helping me and I'm so embarrassed to need her help when I should be the one helping her.
I have a landlord inspection soon and the garden is literally a mass of weeds. I can't afford a gardener. I'm feeling helpless.
The only thing I'm managing to do is make porridge in the morning and a cup of tea. And then I'm wiped out all day. And in pain. I don't want to resort to convenience food but then I don't want my kids to feel like all they do in the house is what i should be doing

Amber_Sunshine

Contact social services, you may qualify for carers or financial assistance to pay someone. Or there may be a charity that could help with things like gardening. Also look for fibromyalgia support associations and see what they offer in your area.

FairyPrincessk

There are many on this board who face similar challenges and hopefully some of them can share their tips.

I will say though that you do what you need to do and there is absolutely no shame in using convenience food if that is what works for you. You may also explore some of the 'hybrid options' like pre-chopped frozen veg, frozen mash etc. As for the landlord and the garden, can the kids do a quick tidy up? If not, then I'd just explain the situation. The worst the landlord will do is give you a warning and ask you to clear it within a specified time which gives you more time to find a way to deal with it.

Toomuchdebt

Amber_Sunshine wrote: »

Contact social services, you may qualify for carers or financial assistance to pay someone. Or there may be a charity that could help with things like gardening. Also look for fibromyalgia support associations and see what they offer in your area.

I don't think I qualify for anything. I do get PIP and ESA but that's still less than I was earning at work so I don't have any spare money. I asked on facebook if anyone could give me a hand and people wanted between £20 and £40 for an hour.
I haven't looked for any support yet. I was trying to ignore it to be honest.

Toomuchdebt

FairyPrincessk wrote: »

There are many on this board who face similar challenges and hopefully some of them can share their tips.

I will say though that you do what you need to do and there is absolutely no shame in using convenience food if that is what works for you. You may also explore some of the 'hybrid options' like pre-chopped frozen veg, frozen mash etc. As for the landlord and the garden, can the kids do a quick tidy up? If not, then I'd just explain the situation. The worst the landlord will do is give you a warning and ask you to clear it within a specified time which gives you more time to find a way to deal with it.

I've just found out the older kids have a half day tomorrow so I'm going to get them to try and get some done. It's overgrown with that horrible bindweed. Once that's all gone I'm hoping my eldest will have a day off work to help mow the lawn and cut some bushes down(she's off to uni next week).
I do have some frozen veg in but my freezer is very small so it means more frequent shopping which is even worse for me.My friend offered me her freezer-sadly it's not a chest freezer but a fridge type one and I don't have anywhere to put it where I could open it

smeeth

Contact your local authority or Citizens Advice Bureau, some councils have funds set aside to help with issues like your garden.

Hope you get some help!

Toomuchdebt

Thank you I will call them tomorrow and ask.

VfM4meplse

OP, you're in a terrible situation. The part of your post that struck me most was:

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

I'm 45 and my mum who is 69 has been helping me and I'm so embarrassed to need her help when I should be the one helping her.

Have you looked at the UK Fibromyalgia site yet? Get yourself on the forum and you will find plenty of advice from others going through the same thing.

Wishing you well!

Islandmaid

ToMuchDebt - speak to your landlord, explain that it's an accute situation and the garden is not usually an issue, but you are awaiting a stabilisation of your newly diagnosed condition - I am sure they will understand, and you have the evidence to back it up - you don't need to be worrying about that, just get yourself well as you can be X

Toomuchdebt

VfM4meplse wrote: »

OP, you're in a terrible situation. The part of your post that struck me most was:

Have you looked at the UK Fibromyalgia site yet? Get yourself on the forum and you will find plenty of advice from others going through the same thing.

Wishing you well!

Thank you I haven't looked yet. I've been kind of ignoring being ill really hoping I wouldn't need to admit to it if that makes sense. But I read something yesterday that made me realise this is for life. There's no cure. Just pain relief and learning how to cope. That made me think about all the things I was having trouble with and realising it's not going to get better.

VfM4meplse

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

Thank you I haven't looked yet. I've been kind of ignoring being ill really hoping I wouldn't need to admit to it if that makes sense.

Denial is a very human reaction. Take control of it and you will feel so much better x