Been off with 2 months with depression - handing notice in

sangie595

The advice isn't going to change since the last time you asked the same question, but it's a bit late to ask now, isn't it? According to what you posted four days ago, you have already walked out of the job. So I am not sure how we could advise you now.

motorguy

Thatsthespirit wrote: »

I've been off the past 2 months with depression but after speaking to the doctor we came to the conclusion work was playing a big part. Although he's been providing sick notes I want to get the burden off my shoulders and just leave. However, I told my supervisor last week I was ready to go back tomorrow but after my anxiety flaring up again nearly causing me panic attacks, it just isn't worth it. I feel silly messing them about but not sure what to do in terms of leaving...

What troubles me is that two months in you dont seem to be getting a grip on the illness.

Have you been offered medication? Are you taking it? Is it not working?

What about seeing a therapist to help?

What steps have you taken towards self help?

This illness wants to drag you down. It wants you to have no self esteem, no job and to sit at home and feel sorry for yourself.

You need to take steps to beat it or it will rule your life.

Going4TheDream

motorguy wrote: »

What troubles me is that two months in you dont seem to be getting a grip on the illness.

Have you been offered medication? Are you taking it? Is it not working?

What about seeing a therapist to help?

What steps have you taken towards self help?

This illness wants to drag you down. It wants you to have no self esteem, no job and to sit at home and feel sorry for yourself.

You need to take steps to beat it or it will rule your life.

Have you ever suffered from depression????? If you had you would know it is highly debilitating and it isn't just a case of 'pulling yourself together' .... Some days just getting out of bed and getting a shower is as much as some people can face and is an achievement in itself

I am sure the OP doesn't need to be made to feel they are not doing everything they can to get better and I am sure the OP's GP will be giving medication if they feel its needed - anti depressants are not a one size fits all and it can take months to find one that suits the individual.

My bosses wife is suffering with depression and has done so for over 12 months and despite everything just cannot get over it - yet she is doing everything she can ..

have a little compassion for the OP

motorguy

Going4TheDream wrote: »

Have you ever suffered from depression????? If you had you would know it is highly debilitating and it isn't just a case of 'pulling yourself together' .... Some days just getting out of bed and getting a shower is as much as some people can face and is an achievement in itself

Yes i have - and do. I live with it daily. However through self help (reading up on and understanding the illness and joining self hep forums), regular exercise (releases endorphins) professional help and medication i can function.

That was not a quick process but you have to force yourself to have a plan and to try to progress - even if its just tiny steps.

Resigning from your job with no job to go to or no plan to get back in to employment quickly is a considerable step backwards.

Of course, maybe the O/P is in a position of feeling ready to move on into a new job and resigning will allow them to do that - i truly hope so.

And not once did i say "pull yourself together" - i asked a series of questions that the O/P needs to ask themselves - and hopefully is doing so.

Going4TheDream wrote: »

I am sure the OP doesn't need to be made to feel they are not doing everything they can to get better and I am sure the OP's GP will be giving medication if they feel its needed - anti depressants are not a one size fits all and it can take months to find one that suits the individual.

Yes, however after two months to be taking such a major step back is a very bad sign. Allowing the illness to control your life to the point of not being able to work is a potential step into a downward spiral.

Going4TheDream wrote: »

My bosses wife is suffering with depression and has done so for over 12 months and despite everything just cannot get over it - yet she is doing everything she can ..

With respect doing "everything they can" is what people who are depressed tell you. Often people dont / wont take the meds (Even though they say they are), dont take them consistently, are on the wrong dose, dont understand the illness themselves, allow it to rule their lives, take alchohol which destroys the usefullness of the medication, etc, etc.

Going4TheDream wrote: »

have a little compassion for the OP

Having been to some very dark places with this illness, i know that sometimes you need challenged and the only way to make progress with the illness is to step up to that challenge, even if its only with tiny steps.

Pandering to the illness just feeds it.

Consider yourself very fortunate that your only experience of this debilitating illness is what you've read about it or what you've heard.







O/P - some good starting points for reading are :-

"Undoing Depression" - written by a Doctor who suffers from depression -

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0285638726/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

"Undoing Stress" - written by the same Doctor

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0425207692/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

"The Depression Virus and how to deal with it"

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1901910237/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

And finally, a very simple book but a great starting point for people suffering from depression and ideal for their friends and family "I had a Black Dog"

It summarises very well what life with depression is like - and helps you know others have been there and got through it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Had-Black-Dog-Matthew-Johnstone/dp/1845295897/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1472891203&sr=1-3&keywords=black+dog

Going4TheDream

motorguy wrote: »

Consider yourself very fortunate that your only experience of this debilitating illness is what you've read about it or what you've heard.

"Undoing Depression" - written by a Doctor who suffers from depression -

Your assumption is totally incorrect, and yes i have this particular book myself.

Depression isn't a one size fits all illness and there is no one size fits all solution , just because you managed to have the strength to fight it using both meds and self help doesn't mean that every one can and for that reason there needs to be understanding and compassion

motorguy

Going4TheDream wrote: »

Your assumption is totally incorrect, and yes i have this particular book myself.

Depression isn't a one size fits all illness and there is no one size fits all solution , just because you managed to have the strength to fight it using both meds and self help doesn't mean that every one can and for that reason there needs to be understanding and compassion

So what has worked for you then? Perhaps instead of being outraged on the internet you can perhaps tell us how you deal with depression?

And no, it hasnt "worked for me", its something i have to work at every day. As i said i am able to function, even though at times its very difficult

And no, its not a "one size fits all" illness, however ANY book on the subject or speaking to any professional on the subject and they will be saying the same things.

The illness wants to beat you. It wants to bring you down to the point where you sit in a dark room all day with no job. However you have to seek help and work hard to live with it, even if you might never beat it (i've suffered from it for 10+ years).

Pandering to it is NOT the answer.

And likewise, i wasnt being aggressive with the O/P - i was asking a series of challenging questions that the O/P really needs to ask themselves.

The only one here being aggressive towards someone with depression is YOU!

Now, rather than criticise what i've said and find reasons to be outraged on the internet, perhaps you can share with us how YOU have dealt with / deal with / would deal with depression?

motorguy

Going4TheDream wrote: »

Dont wait for your boat to come in 'Swim out and meet the bloody thing'

I just noticed your tag line there now - surely you're actually in agreement with me - do something about your problems / situation rather than sit around hoping they solve themselves?

skintpaul

is it the job, or the firm that causes issues? ask boss if other positions available first..