Amigo loan... I'm so horrid

CHR15

muckypaws wrote: »

I've told hubby no matter what she is no longer welcome in our home again ....

You might want to reconsider that part.
If I had to choose between my new wife and my daughter, there would be only one winner.
Blood is thicker and all that...

I don't see why anyone is going to end up with a default. Your husband agreed to meet the payments, those payments are being met. Everything above board and will satisfy the terms.

All you have really done is to end up paying significantly more back than you needed to had you taken a decent loan out yourselves at a lower rate of interest.

*~Zephyr~*

I sympathise OP. I would have done exactly the same. I, too, am a stepmother to a 28 year old who behaves pretty much the same. We only see him when he wants money. If there's a knock on the door after 9pm, it will be him. It might have been 6 months or more since we last saw him and he will act as if he's just popped in for a cuppa and a catch up, but before he leaves he'll ask for a few hundred quid to bail him out of his latest emergency. Always promises to pay us back, never, ever does.

I'm so tired of it now. He never says thank you for the money he gets at birthdays and Christmas. He hasn't bought his Dad so much as a crappy card EVER. When you refuse his latest request for money he says some horribly hurtful things to his Dad. I'm all for refusing to allow him in next time he turns up, but his Dad's not there yet. He's still optimistic that he'll grow up. I've just got to the point where I think he has grown up - he's just grown up to be an a$$hole and is never going to change.

Still hurtful though.

Herzlos

CHR15 wrote: »

You might want to reconsider that part.
If I had to choose between my new wife and my daughter, there would be only one winner.
Blood is thicker and all that...

I'd agree with that; you don't need to alienate her entirely, but I'd be making it very clear you won't be giving her any financial help.

AndyPix

muckypaws wrote: »

I've spoke to hubby he's changing his will also

Jesus !!! . . . .

dealer_wins

Think of the £3000 as her wedding gift, or an advance payment on her inheritance.

If my daughter did that, the £2000 loan would cost her many many times that lol

andyfromotley

ohhhh sorry, i think you are being somewhat childish, petty and mean. You have incurred extra cost to yourself in order to screw her credit history. (which was hardly clean before this so what have you really acheived?)

Your real problem here is not your step daughter but your weak willed husband who cant say no to her, or be up front with you by the sounds of it.

My advice would have been pay off the loan, take the money saved in interest and shove it towards some marriage counselling.

dealer_wins

andyfromotley is right, but that could put him in the PPR sinbin, ive been yellow carded for less lol

andyfromotley

dealer_wins wrote: »

andyfromotley is right, but that could put him in the PPR sinbin, ive been yellow carded for less lol

Surely not DW!!!?

The OP invited us to comment on her behaviour so thats what i did. (waits nevously for the banhammer!!)

Puddylove

muckypaws wrote: »

Thanks guys.... Don't you worry she won't be getting another penny .... I've spoke to hubby he's changing his will also

I did consider taking her to the small claims court but hubby is against it... The only good thing is at least now she won't be tapping us up every 5 mins .... I've told hubby no matter what she is no longer welcome in our home again .... Thank you for all your replies.... I feel less of a wicked step mum and more happy with my decision. I can't say it doesn't hurt how she's treated us, but again, her loss of her dad and I for any future problems will hurt her more ... She can't keep living like she is and now has no where to turn for help xx hugs all round

Badly done. Parental love is meant to be unconditional. He doesn't have to keep bailing her out of financial problems, but he always has to be her Dad.
I feel so sorry for your husband, with you trying to play 'top trumps'.

'Now has nowhere to turn for help'. Badly done, Muckypaws, you should be ashamed of yourself.

[Deleted User]

Puddylove wrote: »

Badly done. Parental love is meant to be unconditional. He doesn't have to keep bailing her out of financial problems, but he always has to be her Dad.
I feel so sorry for your husband, with you trying to play 'top trumps'.

'Now has nowhere to turn for help'. Badly done, Muckypaws, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Hallelujah- my parents help their son in the 30's into the work everyday he goes in. You never know when you'll get that phonecall that changes life so the OP need not be so smug.

I actually live in the proceeds of the family home because Dad says "when you have kids you'll understand." It has played an enormous part in keeping me away from certain lenders for nearly a year. Hate to say it.