Recipes NOT to be repeated!!

dumpling

This thread has made me laugh so much, thought I would add my own disasters.

My first time of cooking spaghettii bolognaise from scratch - I had to add 3 cloves of garlic and , yes, you guessed it, I added three BULBS instead :eek: :eek:

My new boyfriend (who I was desperately trying to impress) manfully ate some but of course then I couldn't snog him as the stench was incredible. It was a very short relationship - and I've never been that keen on garlic since :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Another disaster was many years ago when I had first heard about making your own chicken stock. I remembered to take out the gibblies, roasted the chicken...yum, put the carcass in the oven to deal with later then promptly forgot about it. Several days later, there was an awful smell coming from the oven and when I opened the door, the chicken was practically marching towards me_pale_ _pale_

thriftlady_2

ravylesley wrote: »

St Delia's mincemeat recipe doesnt work for me and I'll stick to bought stuff:o

Is that the one where you put it in the oven so that the suet melts and keeps the mincemeat from fermenting ?

1)Mincemeat doesn't ferment in my experience

2) All you do is mix some stuff up and pot it -don't cook it

3)Yes, I've made that one and I thought it was awful too

Olliebeak

competitionscafe wrote: »

Try Delia's recipe - I don't use many of her recipes but found this one when I wanted to make Leek & Potato soup one night and it worked great, so I have used it as my standard Leek & Potato soup recipe ever since:
http://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/leek-onion-and-potato-soup,1717,RC.html

Thank you for that suggestion, competitionscafe. That sounds much more appetising - plus the pictures look far better than my finished product did!

Cheers for that :beer:!

theamazinggem

sooz wrote: »

I think you must have missed several parts vital to Nigella's recipe:

1) were you wearing full make up before starting frying?
2)did you get a black cab to and from Waitrose, despite it being about 2 mins walk from your house?
3)for another ingredient, did you catch a routemaster bus, and since these are no longer in service, did you hire one as your own personal bus?
4) did you spend 3 mins pouting and simpering, before throwing calamari into "only available in America" spices, and then frying them in butter, lard and olive oil?
5) did you get undresses, return in a skimpy satin nightie, and eat your foul concoction in bed?

(sorry, I know that was the croissant and whiskey bread and butter pudding, but what was she thinking?)

we've turned watching nigella into a (sometimes drinking) game... you just have to look out for every time she says "i can't/couldn't be bothered"....

while we're there, ages ago i tried the jamie portuguese custard tarts... from that one where he goes to the dogs with little foil wrapped picnics? what a nightmare! couldn't even get the cases to stay as cases, they kept unravelling into strips, and don't even start me on the custard and brulee top bit! must have been me, but there's no explanation to help and you just get in a right state!

floyd

Dinah93 wrote: »

Shortbread. It's my nemesis. I make everything from scratch and it's almost always wolfed down, however I appear to be completely incapable of making shortbread so it isn't
a - burnt
b - gloopy and raw
c - burnt, gloopy AND raw
d) bland
e) crumble.

I'm desperate to find a good recipe, as I have something of a craving for strawberry shortbread, and as it is my birthday in two weeks, that means it's my turn to bring the cakes to work, so I was thinking banoffee cake, mini lemon meringue pies (because people at work keep nagging me to make them again!), mars bar cake and (hopefully) i'll find a way to master strawberry shortcake. Any suggestions welcomed!

Have you tried the recipe in the Bero book? That always works for me, sorry haven't got the book with me to post it yet

dragonsoup

Great thread - I personally didn't do this I hasten to add but I did have to eat the results.

Green Thai curry made with - spam!

moanymoany

Reading this reminds me of my first attempt at chilli - hands up everyone who can see what's coming? Yes teaspoons and tablespoons mixed up -


Talking about steak, DH's (b*i*t*c*h*y) aunt asked me to cook some steak for her. I told her I'd never cooked steak and asked how to do it. She laughed gaily and treated it as if I was joking.

Moany's revenge.... I cooked the steak under the grill for half an hour each side. It was not a success and she didn't ask me to cook again. :rolleyes:

I add a ps - I didn't deliberately destroy the steak, I just had no experience of cooking expensive 'tender' meat and no-one to ask!

Primrose

I try and avoid recipes by so-called Celebrity Chefs. Delia always works for me and I prefer receipes by some of the "oldies" lwho were "proper" cooks who actually spent most of their time in the kitchen rather than promoting themselves on TV. And modern ovens and microwaves all have different power settings these days, which can influence the way something cooks.

Stephen_Leak

Probably my worst recipe experience was one for French Onion soup. For a start, it used beef consomme to give the dark colour, rather than caramelising the onion, so wasn't suitable for my vegetarian daughter. Secondly, it involved chopping a couple of pounds of onions in the food processor. The recipe may have been in the book, which came with the food processor: these always seem to have an agenda. When I took the lid off, I was hit full in the face by the onion fumes. I was staggering around the kitchen, blinded by the organic version of CS gas. Despite this inauspicious start, I have to say that it was delicious. However, the final insult was the speed it went through the old internal plumbing, if you get my meaning. Never again.

PS. I also once made a smoked mackerel pate with normal "slightly salted" butter instead of the unsalted butter specified. It tasted as if I had emptied an entire salt cellar into it. It was amazing just how much difference it made. Whilst I have repeated the recipe since, I haven't made the same mistake again.

Nix143

dragonsoup wrote: »

Great thread - I personally didn't do this I hasten to add but I did have to eat the results.

Green Thai curry made with - spam!

LMAO!!!! All I can say is ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!