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CMS - Additional money request from the ex

Coume
Posts: 34 Forumite
Hello,
My ex opened a CMS case last year and I have been paying the requested amount (670GBP or so...).
Now she is saying that she spent almost 100GBP on school uniform and that I should be buying the school shoes...
Would you say it is fair from her to ask and would you give on top?
Or would you say that it is all part of the monthly maintenance?
The cost of the shoes is irrelevant; I am just worried of setting up a precedent... She is already starting to skip some of her pick ups as it is a 35-40min drive (one way).
Thanks
My ex opened a CMS case last year and I have been paying the requested amount (670GBP or so...).
Now she is saying that she spent almost 100GBP on school uniform and that I should be buying the school shoes...
Would you say it is fair from her to ask and would you give on top?
Or would you say that it is all part of the monthly maintenance?
The cost of the shoes is irrelevant; I am just worried of setting up a precedent... She is already starting to skip some of her pick ups as it is a 35-40min drive (one way).
Thanks
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Comments
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I would say with that level of maintenance you shouldn't be expected to pay for anything else on top.0
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Is that a monthly amount of maintenance? Just checking because you didn't explicitly state it was.
I'd say absolutely not. If you pay £670 a month that's a hefty amount of monthly maintenance and she definitely be able to kit out your child/children and pay for all their needs and then some.
It's not fair for her to ask and you shouldn't give her any extra on top towards items like trips, shoes etc.0 -
Thanks for the answers.
It is indeed 670GBP a month...
I shall expect World War III when I say no then
Thanks0 -
Definitely not.
With maintenance in that territory it's possible that it ends up subsidising/treating the ex rather than benefitting the child. Nothing you can do about that with the CMS system as it is (receipts not required, no cap just %) but I'd save the extra money she's after and spend it on whatever you choose for the child / enjoying your time with him/her.
Different thing if the maintenance was say £50 - in that case then I would say the shoes should be paid for unless you were struggling to pay your own bills.0 -
You pay maintenance and it is up to her to budget that money to allow for school uniform expenses or any other clothing etc that the children need. That is what child maintenance is for, to pay for the expected expenses that come with having a child. You pay her the amouth they say so therefor your end of the deal is done.
on another note I wish I got almost £700 a month in child support!!! I don't think she realises how fortunate she is, some of us get nothing from our ex'sJust a single mum, working full time, bit of a nutcase, but mostly sensible, wanting to be Mortgage free by 2035 or less!0 -
I think if you were paying less regular maintenance that the replies on here would be a little different. While the amount you pay in maintenance to me seems huge we don't actually know whether the support you pay goes towards private school fees for instance or if it more than covers the childs expenses.
I am going to assume the latter.
What you choose to pay other than the amount assessed by the CMS if it is nothing or hundreds is totally up to you. You can buy the child extra things or you don't.
The amount you have been assessed at is your contribution to the upbringing of your child and the PWC should budget that for clothes/hobbies/school/travel etc.
Only you can make the decision of paying for the shoes however. xTotal Debt:
Dec 2015: £20,090.87
Dec 2016: £16,320.850 -
You pay maintenance and it is up to her to budget that money to allow for school uniform expenses or any other clothing etc that the children need. That is what child maintenance is for, to pay for the expected expenses that come with having a child. You pay her the amouth they say so therefor your end of the deal is done.
on another note I wish I got almost £700 a month in child support!!! I don't think she realises how fortunate she is, some of us get nothing from our ex's
Very well worded kimplus 8! OP I would quote the above to your ex. My CM has doubled recently since my ex partners older child turned 18. The cash I get £458 per month is more than enough for our Son.
If he was reasonable and had bothered to keep in touch I would of negotiated a lower payment, but then again my Son hasn't had so much as a Christmas or Birthday Card in 9 years so stuff it!! He is 16 now and about to start College so I pay him the extra as an allowance so he can concentrate on his studies without having to get a part time job yet.0 -
Just one thing that hasn't been mentioned, does she pay for childcare (before/after school clubs) and earn too much for tax credits? I used to pay £350 towards these for two children and not entitled to any help. I didn't get any maintenance from their dad, but just to say that half of what you pay could be swallowed up by childcare, which would mean that £350 could amount to half the bills etc... for the children without taking into account uniforms. If that was the case, her request might not be totally unreasonable.
Just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt!0 -
Are you paying the minimum legally required ? If so, it wouldn't hurt to pay some extra now and again surely.Overactively underachieving for almost half a century0
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as others have said it depends on her expenses as to whether this is reasonable
if child is privately educated then that is very costly so extra is probably not unreasonable
if state educated then you pay more than enough and no way does it cost £650 a month to house, clothe and feed a child.I am a Mortgage Adviser
You should note that this site doesn't check my status as a Mortgage Adviser, so you need to take my word for it. This signature is here as I follow MSE's Mortgage Adviser Code of Conduct. Any posts on here are for information and discussion purposes only and shouldn't be seen as financial advice.0
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