Ex using csa after refusing payments and access to child

Distraughtdad

Ok i really need advise me and my x split up 9 years ago but ive always had contact with my son gave my ex money which we agreed upon over bank transfers cash in hand etc etc ive always brought my son presents and clothes and anything else he needs but me and my ex had a massive argument over text messaging 3 months ago about her boyfriend whos gone to jail for armed robbery and because of this when it came to my weekend of having him she refused my payment for maintenace (her words "i can shove the money up my ars*") and then refused to let me see my son for 2 months i have everything in text messages in that time ive been trying to gather up some money to start legal matters but i have now recieved a letter from the csa and have recieved 5 missed calls a day in the past 5 days from the csa office demanding i start paying money but still have no access to my boy is any of this what she is doing legal refusing payments stopping me seeing my son then using the csa as a dagger to stick in my back and twisting it i have no problem paying for my kid but do i have any legal grounds what so ever do i have any legal right to my son specially now she has the csa invovled and what the hell can i do i cant go to my family because they now only want my ex's blood after years of torment from her using my son as a weapon to get what she wants and i am clueless without seeking expensive legal advise please help

eve31

Even if you have no contact at present and are about to go the legal route to regain contact you still have to legally pay child maintenance for your son.

It would not be in your best interprets to keep ignoring contact from the child maintenance service as arrears will build up and I'd say it was a preferable way of paying maintenance as you have been paying cash in hand can always be denied and if bank transfers are not labelled as specifically child maintenance then that could be denied also.

Once you have an amount and a payment schedule usually a weekly payment you can still pay her directly with her bank details but specifically label it with child maintenance payment.

Sorry I can't be of help with regards to the legal side of regaining contact. I think what she is doing is disgusting and I hope you get to see your child soon. I would advise going on to net mums as there are mums and dads on there who have lots of advice about representing yourself in court and how to fill in the forms without the need for expensive solicitors. There is a chat forum and you could post in families and relationships or single parent section. There are quite a lot of single dads on there too who are full of knowledge. Also it would be worth getting a free 30 minute with a solicitor and many do do this.

Good luck.

Kim_13

As far as I'm aware, you can't be chased for back payments before the date that the case was filed, so any money saved in that time you'll have towards legal costs.

With any luck ex will soon realise that she'll get less through CSA than she was getting via your arrangement and come to her senses.

I'm a firm believer that maintenance should not be payable while the PWC is using the child as a weapon, but unfortunately the system likes to kick NRP's while they are down. It seems mad to me that pension payments can be disregarded from income for maintenance purposes, but tax, NI and legal costs due to the PWC's conduct cannot.

Have you thought about custody? I'm sure the social services would have something to say about your ex having an armed robber in the child's life.