I want to stop drowning

MrsSave

I'm sorry you're feeling so low about it.

Practically, have you completed an soa? Post one on here, it may help. Have you considered a dmp? Or spoken with cab or one of the debt charaties to see what they advise. If you've always been dealing with it, then it's easy for your husband to bury his head in the sand. My husband doesn't have much of a clue financially. He's getting better, but has generally always let me deal with things.

Maybe you need to have a sit down with him, with all your income, outgoings and debts so that he sees in black and white the actual situation. Then together come up with a plan of action. Explain to him how you feel and that you need help.

You've knocked over £2000 off your debts in the last month, that's fantastic. If you were to carry on like that you'd clear your debts in less than 4 years (if they are all at 0%). With your level of debt, that would be such a fantastic achievement.

debtaghh

MrsSave wrote: »

I'm sorry you're feeling so low about it.

Practically, have you completed an soa? Post one on here, it may help. Have you considered a dmp? Or spoken with cab or one of the debt charaties to see what they advise. If you've always been dealing with it, then it's easy for your husband to bury his head in the sand. My husband doesn't have much of a clue financially. He's getting better, but has generally always let me deal with things.

Maybe you need to have a sit down with him, with all your income, outgoings and debts so that he sees in black and white the actual situation. Then together come up with a plan of action. Explain to him how you feel and that you need help.

You've knocked over £2000 off your debts in the last month, that's fantastic. If you were to carry on like that you'd clear your debts in less than 4 years (if they are all at 0%). With your level of debt, that would be such a fantastic achievement.

Thanks for your reply. I’ve posted a soa a while ago. We can’t do an Iva or dmp due to renting as where we live there is a shortage of houses so would give us less chance of getting a house.

debtaghh

Sorry for the negative post earlier.

If I look at the positives I have cleared some debt as well as buying a new phone, laptop , Xmas presents plus we have some savings. Hopefully we can clear a decent amount soon to help reduce our monthly’s. I need to be more positive!

debtaghh

Morning,

I have given myself a little talking too and told myself to stop moaning and to get on with it. Yes the debt will take a long time to clear but I need to not focus on that. Debt wise I’m going to focus on clearing my Tesco cc ASAP and then Nuba.

Today I need to :

Look at finances and see if I can clear a bit more of the Tesco cc.
Re look at monthly budget from Jan to see how I can make it more realistic.
Redo meal plan
Decide on online shop with voucher
Bathroom surfaces

I cancelled the turkey!

I counted my coins jar yesterday and I have just over £80 which I’m pleased with.

Hope everyone has a lovely day

enthusiasticsaver

I think you need to lay it on the line with your DH as to the exact amount of your debt. Shouldering this alone is not helping you and whereas you say he is good at not overspending the debt was accumulated jointly and should be repaid as a team. Sometimes having another set of eyes on the expenditure means you can support each other which may help you feel less depressed.

I have noticed that ever since August you are really trying to reduce the expenditure but this will be a slow process due to income and high debt but it is coming down and you are making sensible choices. Keep going and as it becomes second nature to be more careful it will weigh less heavy on your mind. I know how frustrating it is to watch every penny and worry every time you have a spendy weekend or car mot due but if you continue along this path eventually you will get there. Just think of the debt as a lake you are emptying with a teaspoon in that it is slow and steady that produces results.

debtaghh

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I think you need to lay it on the line with your DH as to the exact amount of your debt. Shouldering this alone is not helping you and whereas you say he is good at not overspending the debt was accumulated jointly and should be repaid as a team. Sometimes having another set of eyes on the expenditure means you can support each other which may help you feel less depressed.

I have noticed that ever since August you are really trying to reduce the expenditure but this will be a slow process due to income and high debt but it is coming down and you are making sensible choices. Keep going and as it becomes second nature to be more careful it will weigh less heavy on your mind. I know how frustrating it is to watch every penny and worry every time you have a spendy weekend or car mot due but if you continue along this path eventually you will get there. Just think of the debt as a lake you are emptying with a teaspoon in that it is slow and steady that produces results.

Thanks. I love your comparison to a lake and a teaspoon as it’s so accurate!

enthusiasticsaver

There is a diary somewhere with someone who had a £100k of unsecured debt and eventually paid it off and they used the analogy of the lake being emptied with a teaspoon.

Of course another issue you have is the rent is approximately half of your DHs income so very high in comparison to wages. It is generally accepted that housing costs should not be more than 30% of income although in London this is stretched to the limit by a lot of people and I am sure one of the prime reasons for your debt in the first place. I am guessing you live in London or the South East which is phenomenally expensive? Any chance at some point of moving to a cheaper area as this will also make it easier for you to buy at some point when the debt has gone down and cheaper rent will make it easier to deal with the debt? It does involve costs of course but the savings on rent may still make it worthwhile. I know this is something you have resisted before but long term it make make the best sense for you if you are unable to get work.

The biggest issue you would have is travel to work for your DH and school for your kids so I understand this may not be doable.

debtaghh

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

There is a diary somewhere with someone who had a £100k of unsecured debt and eventually paid it off and they used the analogy of the lake being emptied with a teaspoon.

Of course another issue you have is the rent is approximately half of your DHs income so very high in comparison to wages. It is generally accepted that housing costs should not be more than 30% of income although in London this is stretched to the limit by a lot of people and I am sure one of the prime reasons for your debt in the first place. I am guessing you live in London or the South East which is phenomenally expensive? Any chance at some point of moving to a cheaper area as this will also make it easier for you to buy at some point when the debt has gone down and cheaper rent will make it easier to deal with the debt? It does involve costs of course but the savings on rent may still make it worthwhile. I know this is something you have resisted before but long term it make make the best sense for you if you are unable to get work.

The biggest issue you would have is travel to work for your DH and school for your kids so I understand this may not be doable.

We are very near London. We are considering to move but my dd is in her gcse year so will have to wait for them to finish but she is very reluctant to move for a levels. The long term plan is to move areas as it’s too expensive where we live. My dh could potentially get a transfer or do the commute.

debtaghh

Ok so just when I start to think I’ll sort my finances out I’ve just received a letter in the post saying the minimum is going up from end of Jan to 2.25% plus interest meaning instead of paying £50 I’ll be paying nearly £250 minimum!!!! The same will prob happen to my dh’s cc which will mean £400 extra on minimums. Whilst I apreciate the debt will get cleared quicker, things were tight as it was let alone £400 more per month!

enthusiasticsaver

Which credit card company is that?