Are our possessions worth nothing?

Tipsntreats

I am sharing my story as I am very dissapionted in charities these days.
I lost my Mother just over a year ago. Her will left her house to her Grandchildren, not myself, or my sister. I was named executor. It took me a year to sell the property, the estate agent advised me to leave the furniture there, as an empty house looks un-homely. So when it sold I had to clear the place in a week. Now, I lived a long way from my Mother, so it was a challenge.
I had sold the white goods. But I wanted to donate to the local Hospice shop, as they cared for my Mum in her final days. NO such luck! They only collected certain days, and did not want furniture? I had to hire a skip, and so much of my Mothers life went into it, as time was running out. I then hired a removal firm and payed for storage in my own area. I tried to sell the better stuff on gumtree- the beds went. But the cost of storage from my own pocket was unpractical, so I advertised for free to collector. In the mean time I tried every charity shop in my area. They are so fussy these days. The furniture is not old and tatty, but it seems no-one wants large bedroom wardrobes these days, so I am still stuck with it. It really is too good to take to the tip, and I then find out you can only tip so much. It has made me cry, as this is all her possessions, and in the end, you can't even give them away. Please don;t upset me further by saying anything negative, I am just trying to do my best. I hope my Mother isn't looking down and blaming me.

cyantist

I'm sorry for your loss but there is no way your mother is looking down and blaming you.
Unfortunately there is the trend for disposable flatpack furniture, which is a shame as I am systematically removing everything like that from my house and replacing it with quality pieces.
Have you tried freecycle? There are some people on there who are really grateful for anything and it's easier for you as they just come and collect what they want.
There will be people who will love the items, it's just the charities with their limited space have to go with what they think will appeal to most people.

KayBee

Have you got an Emmaus near you? I know they take furniture. Good luck and I'm sure your Mum knows you are trying your best.

http://www.emmaus.org.uk/shop/donate_goods

coffeehound

I'm really sad to read your post. It's awful that at a time of grief you have to also go through the stress and anxiety of 'disposing' of your loved one's possessions. Well done for having got through such a difficult time. Hopefully the wardrobes will find a new home.

candlelight_2013

I am sorry for your loss, but it was exactly the same when my Mum died.

We took clothes, unworn shoes in boxes, nic nacs, books and china to a charity shop near where she lived. They said don't bring any more!!!

We were lucky with the furniture because some of the family had a few bits and we left the rest for the man who bought the bungalow.

We also left all the white goods for him and he was grateful.

It was so difficult because neither my sister or I had room to accomodate much of what Mum had. We kept things like crystal and sentimental pieces, but other than that it had to go.

Your Mum wouldn't want you to be upset, she would just want you to do your best. Try to keep the sentimental pieces and if all else fails bring in a house clearance company which will make things easier.

Life is hard enough after a bereavement of a parent so take things steady.

Hugs

Candlelightx

lessonlearned

Sorry to hear about your mum.

Having had to dispose of both my late husbands and my mothers effects you have my utmost sympathy. It is one of the saddest things we have to do. It's even worse when it has to be done quickly.

ONe of the best charities in our area were the YMCA, they were helpful, courteous and kind.

The other charity I dealt with was Lighthouse:eek: they were so obnoxious and scathing about my mothers furniture they reduced by 90 year old father to tears. Both my sister and I tore a strip off them.

Now it could have just been a one off and some of their other branches could well be completely different but I have never encountered such rudeness from a charity. I did make an official complaint. They did at least have the grace to apologise in the end.

I actually posted about our experience on one of our local "Spotify" sites about Lighthouse and was inundated with replies from people who had had the same issues with that particular branch.

The thing is I'm sure that there are lots of lovely people who would be thrilled to have some of your mums furniture. Possibly gumtree or free cycle might be your best bet.

I am sure your mum is not blaming you, she will be looking down with love and pride.

The sad thing is fashions come and go and large bulky items like wardrobes and sideboards are often too large for today's smaller homes.

theoretica

The other option which hasn't been mentioned are house clearance businesses. They take everything and sell what can be sold and give you the money and recycle or dispose properly of the rest. They do charge for the disposal and removal.

cheel

Sorry about your mum.

I have been so grateful for help I have received. I wont go into details but I needed urgent help furniture wise. A wonderful charity called the sofa project literally turned up with a van full of stuff I didn't have a d needed. they made this house a home for me and my boy.

Contact your local woman's refuge. I assure you your mums lively things will be much needed items for someone there and will be seen as a real blessing. Xxx

Edited to add : They even gave me a lovely wooden sewing box. They cared about us making a home, not just having a roof over our heads xx

Nargleblast

The British Heart Foundation has some shops that take furniture and electrical system, if there is one in your area they will collect it from you. And as others have said, womens' refuges and charities for the homeless are worth a try.

VfM4meplse

Bless you OP, you have tried your best and life is too short for regrets.

Our local authority recycling centre rescues any large items they think can be reconditioned. They collect certain things without charge on pre-arranged days, but I don't think they would do a whole house clearance.

That said, anything not pinned down in London disappears anyway! There are plenty of people on Streetlife that seem to think that certain demographics creep round with supermarket trolleys in the middle of the night....

PasturesNew

It is difficult, when I did a similar clearance I had no "home" to take things to, so I had to call in a house clearance. I couldn't even watch as they loaded the fabulous matching wardrobes that I'd remembered "forever" as being theirs and always in their room

I kept a few small/portable items, nothing I can use, but they were small and portable ... and it all felt "wrong" to be binning everything they'd ever owned, but it's heartbreaking. I've even got a "broken handle" for god knows what reason! It was small and portable ... and there was a memory attached to it.