Debts ruining my life

Hoodride67

I'm in debt and I don't know how to cope.
I suffer with aspergers which doesn't help as I can't handle the paperwork and things get worse.
I owe money for gas, electric, council tax (including a lot of arrears) hmrc fines for not fling tax return. I have debt collectors calling me and turning up to my previous address. My previous flatmate is getting hassled and has just paid a fine to debt collectors for a TV licence on my back for the money. Also TV and broadnand arrears. I'm self employed but have no clue what to do with tax and nat ins. I'm in contact with Stepchange but need all the mail from previous address to find out what I owe and to who to create a debt plan.
But this is all too much for me to handle alone. Is there anyone who could help, somewhere people with autism can't get help?
I'm drowning and can't see the surface

Hoodride67

Tonight driving home from my kids place I contemplated just running away or driving off a cliff. But I can't. My kids come first

Bored

I know it seems difficult but try not to get too upset or stressed. There is absolutely no problem too big to be sorted, even though it may feel insurmountable at the moment. If you do feel in any way suicidal please call the Samaritans helpline.

You have made a great first step in dealing with your debt by calling StepChange. Now you just need to collect your paperwork, open any unopened mail and figure out who you owe money to. If you don't know all your debts then check your credit reports and just provide StepChange with the details of those that you do know. Any others that appear down the line can be dealt with as they arise.

Bobarella

Hoodride67 wrote: »

Tonight driving home from my kids place I contemplated just running away or driving off a cliff. But I can't. My kids come first

Im sorry to hear you felt that bad. Thoughts off the top of my head.
1. Have you been to see your GP? The amount of stress you are under sounds immense.
2. Could you try and see an accountant about your paperwork. Im self employed too and it can all be very complicated.
3. One of the debt related charities can help you with all of your current problems so dont despair.

Please dont give up or do anything drastic.

Bob

dancingfairy

Hi, I can hear you're panicking but you've made a good start by contacting stepchange.
In terms of who you owe money to it sounds like you've started already so make a list and add to it as you think of more/ as you get letters. So far we have gas, electric, council tax, hmrc fine, debt to friend for paying TV licence etc. It doesn't matter how long the list is and whether you owe 10 people or 1000 people.
Next to the name list a rough amount if you can , so 3k or 200 pounds or whatever. As you get letters/ find out more information you can update it
I don't think many people know exactly what their debts are/ who they owe when they start.
Start off as best you can. I'm sure stepchange will help you.
Can you ask previous flatmate to give you any paperwork that might still be there? Do you have a friend or family member that can help you sort the paperwork at all?
Df

Helvetica_Van_Buren

Hoodride67 wrote: »

I'm in debt and I don't know how to cope.
I suffer with aspergers which doesn't help as I can't handle the paperwork and things get worse.
I owe money for gas, electric, council tax (including a lot of arrears) hmrc fines for not fling tax return. I have debt collectors calling me and turning up to my previous address. My previous flatmate is getting hassled and has just paid a fine to debt collectors for a TV licence on my back for the money. Also TV and broadnand arrears. I'm self employed but have no clue what to do with tax and nat ins. I'm in contact with Stepchange but need all the mail from previous address to find out what I owe and to who to create a debt plan.
But this is all too much for me to handle alone. Is there anyone who could help, somewhere people with autism can't get help?
I'm drowning and can't see the surface

There's no need for talk like that; it's only money and can all be sorted. StepChange will certainly help with that.

An accountant can manage the very basics of you being self-employed such as tax and national insurance - it's quite a competitive market and a lot of accountants offer this service.

Respectfull: is being self-employed a good situation to be in? Have you considered getting a fixed position with a company on a PAYE basis? This will do away with a lot of the things you're currently struggling with and a fixed income will do wonders for your mindset and mental health.

Hoodride67

I never seem to be able to hold down a PAYE job. Only went self employed because I lost my job and had to take anything. I really don't want to be self employed but at the moment it's all that's available for me.
Just feels like I get dumped on at every turn. Ex flatmate called last night and said I owe her 400 for a debt collectior that came round that she paid. Apparently for TV licence. Which the flatmate before her said he was paying.
So another thing to worry about. She's not a very nice person.

Pixie5740

If your former flatmate paid £400 out to a debt collection agent for a debt that wasn't hers then she sounds like a bit of a chump.

Things you can do:

1) If you still have post going to a previous address set up a Royal Mail re-direction and get your address updated with companies asap.

2) Contact Business Debtline since you are self-employed.

3) Remember that MSE Martin has never encountered a debt problem that doesn't have a solution. :money:

National_Debtline

Hi

As the others have said, you’ve made a good start to dealing with your debts by reaching out and seeking advice. It’s a good suggestion from Pixie to contact my colleagues at Business Debtline as they specialise in helping clients who are self-employed.

Overall it sounds like you could do with some face to face advice from a local advice agency if you’re finding the paperwork difficult to deal with. The Citizen’s Advice Bureau are the main source of local advice. These days you’ll probably need to attend a drop-in session initially rather than telephoning for an appointment. You can search for details of your local CAB here:

www.citizensadvice.org.uk

You can also search for other smaller advice agencies on the following website. There are all sorts of organisations on there for people in different circumstances but you may be able to find one near you that could offer some advocacy services at the very least:

www.adviceuk.org.uk/find-a-member

James
@natdebtline