THE Prepping thread - a new beginning :)

fuddle

CRANKY40 wrote: »

As a young widow myself I always had a bit of a soft spot for your mam and I was always hoping she'd get her happy ending. I know that some of her life choices hurt you but I still wished different for her. When I was widowed so many people said "let me know if you need anything or if I can help". Asking anyone for help is fairly low down on my list as I suspect it was for your mam. I have a feeling although I obviously know very little about you that it would be similarly low on your agenda. It's hard not to judge someone's coping methods when you are caught up in the chaos thus generated (and it's taken me 8 years to be sure enough of a few very good friends that I can now ask for help). I also think (not that my opinion is of any importance) that your mam did the best she was able and I still hope she has her happy ending now.

She died cranky. Life was torturous for her. She tried very hard for so long and never asked for help. I did all I could, sometimes acting and reacting because of my own hurt, but I couldn't give her her husband back. She wanted to be with my dad and believed in the afterlife. I believe she has her happy ending cranky.

I've been trying to figure out what my coping mechanism is and I think it's just to fight and work through things given that I've seen what can happen when a person can't take control. I've always said mental health is the priority in everything because without it our choices aren't great and they spiral to the point that we no longer have choice in our armoury.

The choices I make for my life are not without ridicule and even though I seem to have a commitment and an ability to lead a socially acceptable existence, I still have those who judge my parenting, life choices, appearance and the traditional role that I have chosen for myself.

If someone who is able to make decent, well thought out choices that, hopefully, have the chance for better consequences, can face judgement then it's no wonder asking for help with mental health, addition, abuse or poverty etc is so hard to do.

mardatha

Fuddle, people should mind their own business more and have less to say. We are not here to do what others think we should do - we are here to experience our own lives. FB and twitter encourage silly asses to bump thier gums when they haven't the faintest idea what they are talking about. It's good to have mental stength and confidence in who and what you are, and what you want in life. xx

Karmacat

mardatha wrote: »

Fuddle, people should mind their own business more and have less to say. We are not here to do what others think we should do - we are here to experience our own lives. FB and twitter encourage silly asses to bump thier gums when they haven't the faintest idea what they are talking about. It's good to have mental stength and confidence in who and what you are, and what you want in life. xx

Seconded.

Fuddle, I'm so sorry you face ridicule for living your life according to your own lights. I've faced a bit of mockery in my time. It's left me seeming to be pretty humourless sometimes, and caring about things that pass other people by (like well fitting loft hatches, to block my house from the stuff that lives up there - cluster flies, rats and the spiders that are too heavy to walk on the ceiling: the builder is up there now) but I've stopped caring. I'm not hurting anybody, and I'm finally able to insist on wanting things my way.

It's good prep-wise too - who would voluntarily expose themselves to rats??? The loft hatch was collapsing

Sorry, off topic from what you're going through.

mardatha

*Traumatised by the thought of spiders all day now*

[Deleted User]

One life is all we get, the courage to live it in your own way is beyond value, being courageous enough to defy conventions and not run with the current stupidities is praiseworthy. To stick to your own path and be true to your own vision is a God given strength and to take no notice of the dissenting and ridiculing voices is just plain common sense and self protection. Stick to your own lifestyle and let the rest of the world go to Hell in its' own handcart, you may not always get things right BUT I'll lay odds that you get it right for you more times than not!

Karmacat

mardatha wrote: »

*Traumatised by the thought of spiders all day now*

Sorry :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Console yourself with the thought that all the mating dances are done the flies are hibernating and the rats are dead It doesn't smell of rat any more, and the builder thinks it's clean (there's no rubbish up there, that much is true). The pre-formed hatch looks to be going in with no problems (it fits into the spaces formed by existing beams) and it'll be done by the end of today

:j:j:j

culpepper

Regarding the ridicule. More often than not, it is jealousy that fires it. My mother used to say so when I was a school child and of course I thought she was bonkers but now I can look back and see that the pointers and shouters were looking on with envy at those of us strong minded enough to not only think outside the box, but act that way too regardless of the lemming mentality of the majority.

Mojisola

culpepper wrote: »

Regarding the ridicule. More often than not, it is jealousy that fires it. My mother used to say so when I was a school child and of course I thought she was bonkers but now I can look back and see that the pointers and shouters were looking on with envy at those of us strong minded enough to not only think outside the box, but act that way too regardless of the lemming mentality of the majority.

And fear.

People who aren't well-centred need other people to look, behave and think the same way as them in order to feel that they are okay.

Nargleblast

I think there’s a saying - Be Yourself, it’s a case of Mind over Matter. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

GreyQueen

I've taken a fair bit of stick over the years for being childless by choice and never regreting that choice. Some from within the extended family but also from wider society, which seems to feel that it's OK go the full Torquemada on someone's reproductive choices. It's seemingly unacceptable to actually not want children at all, nor to enjoy the company of infants and youngsters.

Fortunately, I knew by the age of twelve that motherhood wasn't what I wanted to do on this planet and I didn't end up getting railroaded into the maternal role and risk making the lives of offspring miserable because I was miserable.:rotfl:

I'd never harm a child, stand by while someone else harmed a child, nor ever cause a kid a moment's stress or anxiety (in fact, children quite like me for some reason, perhaps because I don't fawn on them) but I prefer to avoid the little [STRIKE]bli[/STRIKE] ooops! little darlings whenever I can.

Mind you, I'd go out of my way to meet someone's cat's new kittens, so clearly have a mis-wired maternal circuit which is drawn to things four-footed, fluffy and nappy-free.

I changed a nappy. Once. A toddler nappy. It was about 27 years ago and I'm not gonna do another one, if I can help it - eww!